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Posts Tagged ‘stress managment’

Greetings and Salutations! One and all! It really is amazing how when you begin to really live in the flow of the universe how things just become very synchronistic. Now this does not always mean that all outcomes will be as you want them as you envisioned them. Sometimes things come in ways that we least expect them.

For me, when we have to go through a radical acceptance of something which is outside of our control it is difficult at times to get back up on the horse. I have endured many blows or waves of change within the past two weeks. Almost all my messages from the universe have been related to how to move through the waves of sadness and to stay in the moment and find the happiness within. It has been a lot of hard work on my part to do this. We so easily drift into the past or the future, but to stay exactly in the moment is difficult. This situation involved the deepest kind of pain, losing true love. Problem is only one of us felt that way apparently. So what do you do as your life shatters before you and everything you hold dear is ripped from your world?

Well, one of the techniques I have been trying out is to stop and become aware of my surroundings. Most emotions are triggered from a memory or a thought which is not actually in this moment. So by looking and really consciously noting what is around you can pull you outside of yourself long enough to move through the wave of emotion. Another thing I have been doing is trying to find laughter within my day. Watch a funny movie, read a funny joke, in my case come up with hysterical commercials. The more I stay focused on what my life is about and what I have going on in my world, the less I am thinking about him and what he is doing or thinking, is he hurting like me or has he turned off all emotion and will endure the pain later when it bubbles to the surface? I do not want to waste my day or my time thinking about that stuff, I have a child who is in crisis right now, and I have to move. A move that is not going to be just a down the street deal but pretty far away, looking to sell my belongings type of move. Some say that if you are running then you will still have to deal with it. Yes this is true, however, I have other factors to consider, money being one of them. My health being another of them. I have built up somewhat of a support system where I am however the rents in my area have skyrocketed and I can no longer afford where I am staying. A simple fact of life, the cost of living has increased and my income has decreased. So we are off to the next exciting leg of our adventure. The bottom line to all that is, I really do not have time to pine and drool over what has been lost or what I do not have in my life.

The fact of the matter is, I didn’t need him before I met him, I certainly do not need him now. Needs and desires are two different things. Just as love and partners are. Relationships require a certain amount of energy and effort and right now, I just do not have it to give anymore and apparently neither does he. I have my own health issues. He has his. I am trying to get my business resurrected from before a brain injury four years ago. That in and of itself is enough to keep my focus occupied. This person has his own issues. I still love him, that will never change, but I require my relationships to go both ways, he’s not able to achieve this at this time. I can wait yes, but really what for?? A man who cannot commit? Who cannot make up his mind that after three years he wants to be with me or not? I’m sorry I do not want to have to be someones shelter, counselor, mother figure or tell them how to be civil and polite and honest and loving, not my job to train a 45 year old how to be a real person. They will have to learn their way how.  I have a world to conquer people to help out there and there are six billion people on this planet, I will find someone who can deal with me, love me, work with me, encourage me and be respectful and kind to me always. I should not have to work 70% of the relationship and get 30% in return.That’s not a partnership that’s an imbalanced situation that had to give and who knows if it will change if this persons life changes in the future. I know they still love me, they just cannot handle me right now. Or themselves either for that matter. No ones fault, the fault doesn’t exist. Just is what is right now. Not time. So we both accept that. I’m sure that we will always love one another as we loved each other before we came into this life. I do hope someday he catches up with me. I pray that he does make the changes in his world someday for his sake. For his family’s sake.

The universe has been speaking loudly to change my thinking for everyone to change our thinking to NOW. Being in this moment of the present. The joy is there! Right there! Right now! Within you! Sadness lies in the past. In the memory. In the story of what the other person did to you! They did nothing except be themselves, how they are right now. Pick up the pieces. One at a time. Be aware of feeling the feelings but allow them to pass through like a breeze brushes past you standing outside. Love yourself and forgive yourself. For you are worthy. There is no fault. Only what is. Acceptance is where the struggle and the pain lie. The sooner that you come to a place of acceptance the sooner the suffering part stops. Doesn’t mean you have to like what is being handed to you, but it does mean that you have to deal with it and accept that it is how it is. That is where the stopping in the moment works, pulling your thinking out of the memories of the past or the  what could be if’s…..and get into what is actually around you. Look at things and study them, you will see that the moment or wave of emotion passes much more quickly and you can get into your right mind quick enough to pull out of it.

I do not have all the answers here, just that these are some of the techniques I use in my own world. In the day to day things that seem to happen whether or not I instigated them or not, some of it had to change in my world, it was no longer serving my desires or my needs, so it is with life, all about the change, and surfing those waves instead of being crushed by them. Not staying in the moments of sadness or emotional turmoil. If you want something to change, then change it and do your best to move forward in life.

It’s always sad to say goodbye, but in the native world you only say those words when someone passes onto the great spirit. They say farewell because we never know when our paths will cross again. So for now, this is where my head is, I will not have internet access for the next two days and this post will be the last for the moment. I will be writing still as I have nothing else to do but work on the various projects that I have going. So there will probably be several posts at once when i get access to the net again in a couple of days.

As it is I am in the coffee shop getting this posting out as we type. Life is funny. Full of synchronicities watch for them, they will point you to where your thinking should be.  Be well until next time! Love n Light and Blessings to you all. Kimberly

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Greetings and salutations! One and All! Hard to believe this month is ending already. We here at Illuminations of Light have been very busy working on the technical ends of the show for February 16th!  This is why I have been quiet on the blog. We did do the show on OUR WORLDS and the main web site http://www.illuminationsoflight.com has the replay of the show available. We had a great time doing the show and we learned a lot! So I am getting excited as we have more guests contacting us and agreeing to do the shows. This whole journey has been quite a ride and I am loving each and every moment of it! I am so grateful and humbled for all the support from friends and loved ones thank you so much for all your help in the backround helping to make the show great! SZ and Mtn-Hawk and Miss xpression of light, they all have worked hard preparing for this great day!

I was pretty happy to be able to say hello to my granddaughter! What a joy she is! I tell you that girl is special! But then again so is her momma! They grow up so quickly! It truly is amazing.

So today I wanted to talk about STRESS.  A condition which affects almost every person on this planet just about. Stress is the number one generator of dis-ease within the body and affects every aspect of our lives when we are not able to get it under control.

According to Medicine Net.com, “What is stress?

Stress is simply a fact of nature — forces from the outside world affecting the individual. The individual responds to stress in ways that affect the individual as well as their environment. Hence, all living creatures are in a constant interchange with their surroundings (the ecosystem), both physically and behaviorally. This interplay of forces, or energy, is of course present in the relationships between all matter in the universe, whether it is living (animate) or not living (inanimate). However, there are critical differences in how different living creatures relate to their environment. These differences have far-reaching consequences for survival. Because of the overabundance of stress in our modern lives, we usually think of stress as a negative experience, but from a biological point of view, stress can be a neutral, negative, or positive experience.

In general, stress is related to both external and internal factors. External factors include the physical environment, including your job, your relationships with others, your home, and all the situations, challenges, difficulties, and expectations you’re confronted with on a daily basis. Internal factors determine your body’s ability to respond to, and deal with, the external stress-inducing factors. Internal factors which influence your ability to handle stress include your nutritional status, overall health and fitness levels, emotional well-being, and the amount of sleep and rest you get.”

They go onto say…..

What are the signs and symptoms of poorly managed stress?

Excess stress can manifest itself in a variety of emotional, behavioral, and even physical symptoms, and the symptoms of stress vary enormously among different individuals. Common somatic (physical) symptoms often reported by those experiencing excess stress include sleep disturbances, muscle tension, headache, gastrointestinal disturbances, and fatigue. Emotional and behavioral symptoms that can accompany excess stress include nervousness, anxiety, changes in eating habits including overeating, loss of enthusiasm or energy, and mood changes. Of course, none of these signs or symptoms means for certain that there is an elevated stress level since all of these symptoms can be caused by other medical and/or psychological conditions.

It is also known that people under stress have a greater tendency to engage in unhealthy behaviors, such as excessive use or abuse of alcohol and drugs, cigarette smoking, and making poor nutritional choices, than their less-stressed counterparts. These unhealthy behaviors can further increase the severity of symptoms related to stress, often leading to a “vicious cycle” of symptoms and unhealthy behaviors.

The experience of stress is highly individualized. What constitutes overwhelming stress for one person may not be perceived as stress by another. Likewise, the symptoms and signs of poorly managed stress will be different for each person.”

“….

How does the response to stress work?

While the complete story is not fully known, scientists understand much about how the response to stress works. The two main systems involved are the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis and the SNS. (These systems are described later.) Triggered (activated) primarily by an area in the brain stem (lowest part of brain) called the locus coeruleus, the SNS secretes epinephrine and norepinephrine. The five most important concepts to remember about these two systems are that

    1. Watch for the next instance in which you find yourself becoming annoyed or angry at something trivial or unimportant. Then practice letting go, making a conscious choice not to become angry or upset. Do not allow yourself to waste thought and energy where it isn’t deserved. Effective anger management is a tried-and-true stress reducer.
    1. Breathe slowly and deeply. Before reacting to the next stressful occurrence, take three deep breaths and release them slowly. If you have a few minutes, try out a relaxation technique such as meditation or guided imagery.
    1. Whenever you feel overwhelmed by stress, practice speaking more slowly than usual. You’ll find that you think more clearly and react more reasonably to stressful situations. Stressed people tend to speak fast and breathlessly; by slowing down your speech you’ll also appear less anxious and more in control of any situation.
    1. Jump-start an effective time management strategy. Choose one simple thing you have been putting off (e.g., returning a phone call, making a doctor’s appointment), and do it immediately. Just taking care of one nagging responsibility can be energizing and can improve your attitude.
    1. Get outdoors for a brief break. Our grandparents were right about the healing power of fresh air. Don’t be deterred by foul weather or a full schedule. Even five minutes on a balcony or terrace can be rejuvenating.
    1. Drink plenty of water and eat small, nutritious snacks. Hunger and dehydration, even before you’re aware of them, can provoke aggressiveness and exacerbate feelings of anxiety and stress.
    1. Do a quick posture check. Hold your head and shoulders upright and avoid stooping or slumping. Bad posture can lead to muscle tension, pain, and increased stress. If you’re stuck at a desk most of the day, avoid repetitive strain injuries and sore muscles by making sure your workstation reflects good ergonomic design principles. Take our Workstation Quiz to find out how to make your workstation more ergonomically safe.
    1. Plan something rewarding for the end of your stressful day, even if only a relaxing bath or half an hour with a good book. Put aside work, housekeeping or family concerns for a brief period before bedtime and allow yourself to fully relax. Don’t spend this time planning tomorrow’s schedule or doing chores you didn’t get around to during the day. Remember that you need time to recharge and energize yourself. You’ll be much better prepared to face another stressful day.
  • 1. they are governed by a feedback loop to regulate their response (In a feedback loop, increased amounts of a substance — for example, a hormone — inhibit the release of more of that substance, while decreased amounts of the substance stimulate the release of more of that substance.);

    2. they interact with each other;

    3. they influence other brain systems and functions;

    4. genetic (inherited) variability affects the responses of both systems. (That is, depending on their genes, different people can respond differently to similar stresses.);

    5. prolonged or overwhelming responses of these systems can be harmful to an individual.”

    They have a ton more information on this if you are interested in reading all the articles on this topic click here.

    The issues of stress, surpass any economic range, educational range, race range. It is a condition which has touch all of us from time to time. As a parent I am hyper aware of the stresses in my own life as well as my children’s. Here is a great article on teen stress, click here.

    Stress touches all areas of our lives, the work place, the family and home, school and spiritual.  Physically it is said that every ache and pain in our body is tied into some form of emotional stress.  So you can see how stress would be something one would want to get a handle on and be able to identify. I found an interactive stress indicator on WEBMD.

    To find out how stressed you are right now, use this Interactive Tool: What Is Your Stress Level?

    Panic attacks, difficulty breathing, asthema, heart dis-ease, hypertension, eating disorders and digestive issues, headaches, fatigue, body aches, loss of sex drive, loss of appetite or increased appetite, depression; all of these sound like a bad list of side effects to the latest and greatest drugs on the market, but they are very real symptoms of this invisible destroyer called stress.  Here are some solutions the experts feel are useful tools to reduce stress. I would add a couple of more to theirs at the end.

    Eight Immediate Stress-Busters

    Medical Author: Melissa Conrad Stoppler, MD
    Medical Editor: Jay W. Marks, MD

    Most of our lives are filled with family, work, and community obligations, and at some point we feel as though we are “running on empty.” Here are eight immediate stress busters to help “fill up the tank!” So take deep relaxing breath and read on.

Helpguide.org suggests the following on the subject of work place stress:

Coping with work stress in today’s uncertain climate

For workers everywhere, the troubled economy may feel like an emotional roller coaster. “Layoffs” and “budget cuts” have become bywords in the workplace, and the result is increased fear, uncertainty, and higher levels of stress. Since job and workplace stress grow in times of economic crisis, it’s important to learn new and better ways of coping with the pressure. The ability to manage stress in the workplace can make the difference between success or failure on the job. Your emotions are contagious, and stress has an impact on the quality of your interactions with others. The better you are at managing your own stress, the more you’ll positively affect those around you and the less other people’s stress will negatively affect you.

You can learn how to manage job stress

There are a variety of steps you can take to reduce both your overall stress levels and the stress you find on the job and in the workplace. These include:

  • Taking responsibility for improving your physical and emotional well-being.
  • Avoiding pitfalls by identifying knee jerk habits and negative attitudes that add to the stress you experience at work.
  • Learning better communication skills to ease and improve your relationships with management and coworkers.

Read the article from them here.

They go onto suggest :

Time management tips for reducing job stress

  • Create a balanced schedule. Analyze your schedule, responsibilities, and daily tasks. All work and no play is a recipe for burnout. Try to find a balance between work and family life, social activities and solitary pursuits, daily responsibilities and downtime.
  • Don’t over-commit yourself. Avoid scheduling things back-to-back or trying to fit too much into one day. All too often, we underestimate how long things will take. If you’ve got too much on your plate, distinguish between the “shoulds” and the “musts.” Drop tasks that aren’t truly necessary to the bottom of the list or eliminate them entirely.
  • Try to leave earlier in the morning. Even 10-15 minutes can make the difference between frantically rushing to your desk and having time to ease into your day. Don’t add to your stress levels by running late.
  • Plan regular breaks. Make sure to take short breaks throughout the day to sit back and clear your mind. Also try to get away from your desk for lunch. Stepping away from work to briefly relax and recharge will help you be more, not less, productive.

Task management tips for reducing job stress

  • Prioritize tasks. Make a list of tasks you have to do, and tackle them in order of importance. Do the high-priority items first. If you have something particularly unpleasant to do, get it over with early. The rest of your day will be more pleasant as a result.
  • Break projects into small steps. If a large project seems overwhelming, make a step-by-step plan. Focus on one manageable step at a time, rather than taking on everything at once.
  • Delegate responsibility. You don’t have to do it all yourself, whether at home, school, or on the job. If other people can take care of the task, why not let them? Let go of the desire to control or oversee every little step. You’ll be letting go of unnecessary stress in the process.

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My feelings are this, DO YOU! Massages and spa treatments, shopping for something new, exercise, music and dancing and singing, eat right the foods you eat can contribute to mood swings. Get enough sleep, take a short cat nap if you are able to, three days without sleep can cause psychotic episodes in some people. Sleep deprivation is one of the signs of too much stress. Good sex also generates endorphines which helps to balance out the stress levels in both men and women. Medical Marijuana can also reduce stress more effectively then alcohol. Meditation, getting back to nature, listening to nature sounds, aromatherapy is also a nice way to relieve stress, lavender and chamomile are natural stress reducers, kava kava and st. john’s wort is also a good combo for short term stress relievers naturally, take vitamins, especially E and D for the ladies out there and your B complexs, for hormonal relief, get a check up before you try any of these remedies checking thyroid and other metabolic functions and as with anything check with your physician on what will work for you. I also encourage you to study this topic more and do some google searches on the topic. This is something that is personal and can definitely be reduced this stress stuff.  Coloring is a great stress reducer as well as reading, cooking, gardening, knitting and talking to someone about things that are bothering you. Journaling is another great technique. Whatever it takes to make your stress levels come down. The evidence out there shows that it’s a killer, a silent killer of our many bodies, emotional, physical and spiritual. Take care of yourself and DO YOU!  You are no good to anyone if you are not in good health. I am not a doctor and this is NOT medical advice. There are professionals out there for that. Accupuncture/ Accupressure, Natralopathy, Doctor’s of Osteopathy all are good alternatives to seek when looking for healthy and natural ways to reduce stress.

Loving yourself. Just a few more ways we can do that! I do hope you enjoyed the information. Below are a few calming meditation tapes.

Enjoy the moment of now, yesterday and tomorrow are of no consequence, the real changes happen right now, this very moment in your mind. How do you choose to feel? Do you have control over any of it?? Are you just worrying about you, your life and what you are doing? Do not let other people’s stresses become your own. Check with a doctor to make sure there is nothing medically wrong. Seek out many sources and perspectives with any of the topics I offer in these blogs. Be proactive in your own health and well being!

Peace , Love and Light! Until next time~ Kimberly

A lovely stress relieving video by Ken Davis

Peaceful Blue by Dorothea

Stress Relief 101 video from YouTube

Joe DePalma’s This Too Shall Pass

Brainwave stress reduction video

Stress Relief Tips & Exercises

**picture of hawaiian scene provided by Miss Rae Jensan on Facebook Thanks Rae!

Peace, be safe! xox Kimberly

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