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Posts Tagged ‘ptsd’

lluminations of Light LIVE! Presents Stanley Victor Paskavich to the show March 30, 2010 9pm MST on blogtalkradio.com/illuminationsoflight

Stanley was raised in Glendridge, Illinois, the fourth son of five to Stanley Paskavich and Dora Mae Marie Paskavich. He graduated in 1977 at Sandoval High School and worked as a janitor there until he joined the USAF in 1979. He got out of the Air Force for medical reasons in 1991, shortly after running a shift in the Dover Deleaware Port Mortuary.

His book Stantasyland is compiled from different times and beliefs in his life. Some of the poems go back 30 years or more. He writes about his life, himself, religion, and spirituality, along with some other political things thrown in for good measure and some interesting perspectives on life. He states in his own words, “often I write per perspective. I don’t intend to convince, confirm, or condemn with my writings, just possibly stimulate some different lines of thought. I respect anyone who is convinced in their belief and convictions, and/or belief systems as long as they do not use it as a weapon against another. Truth, Peace, Tranquility (TPT) Stan”

Stan is an amazing survivor and visionary and has a lot to say about alot of things.  He is difficult to follow for some and amazingly inspirational to others. He is a humble person who has seen more then most in his short time upon Mother Earth. After handling dead bodies for several months, it had a profound affect on his world and his thinking. He is a walk in which is something that most do not know about him. We will be discussing this on the show with him and about some of his views of the cosmos and life in general. It’s simple but complex much like Stan himself.

We are pleased and honored to welcome Stan D’Man to our show! March 30, 2010 9pm MST on blogtalkradio.com/illuminationsoflight! Don’t miss it!

More recent musings from Stan D’Man!
“I was listening to Coast to Coast AM this morning on Paltalk. There was a guest speaking about NDE’s ‘Near Death Experiences’. I’ve had several NDE’s. I’ve never seen the tunnel of lights. I’ve never seen the loved ones welcoming me home. But when I awoke I realized that I was having a NLE a ‘Near Life Experience’. I believe many of us are. So I suggest we might want to try harder to live every moment to it’s fullest. Because like they say. “It’s not a dress rehearsal.”
You have seen his poetry featured on my pages and now is being considered for a poster for the NRA and of course Stantasyland.!
Stan is one of the most interesting people I know and his views on walk-ins and war and life will definitely make you think! So be sure to tune in this Tuesday Night 9pm MST and 10pm CST for Illuminations of Light LIVE! For more information on Stanley V. Paskavich please click here. To purchase his book click here. To visit Stan’s Stantasyland homepage click here.


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Greetings and salutations one and all. Today I would like to focus on a very serious and growing problem with our young people today…. suicide, ptsd, bullying, and our schools.

There’s a lot of news in the headlines of late, how many people are flipping out for a multitude of reasons. I believe the magnetics has a lot to do with it. But too, so does our society.

One of the political banners I have carried over the years has been the issues within the schools. I have a special needs child who has fallen through the cracks of the system for years. If it had not been for my educating myself as to the laws and how their game is played, we would have never survived middle school!

I find it interesting that Mr. Obama is on the same track with the idea that too many of our children are dropping out of school and in extreme cases out of life. Teen suicide rates are up to an all time high right now. It is critical that we start getting in touch with our youth NOW! We need to get to the core issues of why this is happening before we an stop it, otherwise we are just treating symptoms, putting a bandaid on it and the main issues will recurring  until we deal with the core of the problem. Our children lack respect, they lack guidance because our generation doesn’t know what they are truly dealing with in these kids. How can we ask our children to display respect when most adults do not treat each other with respect? Even with our current president our adults are behaving in very hateful ways to each other, so really what do we expect from our children today ???


In the headlines just this month, a teacher walks on campus in Alabama and blows away several co workers before killing herself, a math teacher has to tackle a 35 year old gunman in Littleton, CO just last week, Boulder High had a bomb threat two weeks ago and a child in Mass kills himself behind bullying all of this after the columbine children brought to our attention the need for reform within our schools! Ladies and gentlemen, our schools, our children, are NOT SAFE! Budget cuts and school closures have increased classroom size, decreased funds for specialized schools and programs for these kids who do not fit into the mainstream. These are the troubled kids, the ones who cannot seem to find their niche, their place in life. Their parents and they turn to the school systems and mental health systems and social service systems for help and there is none there.

My own personal battle with a variety of school districts has got me hot under the collar about this issue of bullying in the schools. I am currently in that battle of my son and I vs. the school district over these very issues.

Indigo children, which most of the younger generation is, are here to tear down the systems and to make way for the crystals and rainbows to repair and rebuild. But indigos are not about repair. So for parents this is a challenge because they find themselves facing rearing a child who is wired as an entirely different creature then anything we have had to deal with before. They are gifted, they are highly intelligent,  yet appear lazy and mouthy often times. They are more angry and moody then the children of past generations due to their wiring designed to tear down systems that no longer work for the good of all concerned and prepared for the coming frequencies of the future. They lack motivation except for video games and rebelling against the machine so to speak. Why groups like Emo are created.  Yet they have their own unique ways of getting the system to change its ways. A slow process but effective.

So what we find is the new wave getting labeled ADD, ADHD, Bi-polar, Depressed, Etc. We surpress their great talents and subdue them so they are “manageable” killing their spirits with drugs they do not need like seroquil or ridalin  when Really what is happening with most of them is that they are sensitive (empathic), they come into this reality and density, they are not used to the body idea and they see the chaos all around and they are wired to want to tear it down and make it better. So because most of these young beings come from other universes and planets and have never been to 3d Earth, they struggle to fit into their new environment, and they learn differently then the children of the past, they require a more visual and tangible way of learning.

The problem with this is the schools have not changed their curriculum for teaching in over 60 years! This is why our children are failing because our system is failing to keep up not our kids!

These children, suffer the trauma of being human, they suffer because they are singled out in the social arenas at school and at home and they never seem to fit into the square little boxes people try to put them in. They are teased brutally and endlessly. As a result they often times develop PTSD symptoms and they either get reactive or they shut down. These children are the ones with no voice in this world. I for one have done my best to be a very active voice and bring light to this very dark matter.

Our children are committing suicide, having intimate relations and doing drugs and alcohol and getting addicted to violence and porn as a result of  prolonged pain from the unacceptance by their peers and family, their exposures to the net and video games and how society deals with these topics so openly. Kids today do not respond to “do as I say not as I do” discipline. We must be the example for these children in life. Most of the reactions these kids show are things that if the situation happened to an adult, we would react much the same way, but because they are kids, no one listens or it doesn’t apply to them? Really how does that work? We say respect is earned…. are we earning their respect by behaving in ugly ways?

Part of this shift is understanding there is no separation. This includes, kids and adults. Yes it is our job to guide them and teach them, they have their own path,  it is not theirs to be our slaves at home doing all the work, that should be a team effort or beating them into submission as many parents have been trained by their own upbringing, but to treat them as mini people, mini adults, the way you would want to be treated now,  because they are exposed to very adult things at a very young age, so to go with the old way of doing things, is doing a dis service to our youth in not preparing them for the real world. We shelter them and protect them but to do it too much so then turn them loose in the real world. This is where the depression comes in for young adults, so much pressure and culture shock,  they just fold emotionally. Hence the increased suicide rates.

We need to do something about this issue. Our drop out rates here in the United States is absolutely unacceptable. Our children are our most valuable commodity they are our future. We are failing them as a society placing a higher value on a ball players and actors then a teacher or school and we need to put action to this to make a change! Start attending your local school board meetings, talk to people who advocate for children and see what they can offer as advice to deal with the many issues that arise when your child falls into this void with no voice. There are laws in place which can be used to enforce the no bullying policies and if there are none where you live then I would write your local authorities, school superintendent and congress people and let them know you are “Mad as hell and you are not going to take it anymore!”

Nothing will change if we all think that someone else is dealing with this issue. I have for years wanted to form a coalition of parents, teachers and students to create their own lobbying group and start making some political noise about this issue. I encourage you to begin in your own neighborhood with the parents.  Not all kids are wired the same, we have to make a way to accommodate all children not just the 80% majority. No child should be left behind, on this point Mr. Bush and I agree. Change begins at home, start making some noise, contact local news places as you hear about these injustices in our district with these kids. The children and parents feel like it’s us against them and they learn quickly that the system is in need of change. So to you my audience, please get involved in this, get active and find out what your kids are dealing with at school. When we were 10 our biggest concerns were which bike or doll to play with, our kids today, deal with guns at school, gangs, drugs, sexting, by the time they are in fourth or fifth grade now! So look at their texts, look at their emails and IM conversations while playing games and what not on the computer, get nosey! Be proactive in preparing your kids because it starts much sooner then you would imagine. If your child is suffering from bullying contact your local truancy officers and court officials and ask what can be done to cease the issues. Take things to the next level and do not fear. For the only thing you have to fear is fear itself! Ok maybe apathy falls in with fear, apathy is our worst enemy in this country as I see it…

I will revisit this issue further later on down the line, sharing with you some of the issues people have run into with regard to this. Until next time! Peace, love and light!

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We have recorded most of this blog to audio, we did not include all the videos on the recording but a few snippets to get the idea of what was shared. Thanks! Now onto the blog!

Greetings and salutations! I do hope the day is a beautiful one for you!  We have been working very hard on adding new features to the blog as well as the sites for Illuminations of Light. Preparing for our guests up and coming on the radio show.  I am pleased to announce that we will be having Ronna Herman as our first guest, we also have Michael Jaco, ex USNavy SEAL who has written a magnificent book called “The Intuitive Warrior” which I have to tell you guys is a fantastic book for everyone especially the young men in your life! My fifteen year old couldn’t put it down! That show will air 3/9/10-9pm mst. Then of course the Sedona Lights crew joins us 2/23/10! So lots of great guests, we are so blessed and honored to have them joining us! Be sure to tune in for the show!

Ok so enough of the radio stuff and onto today’s subject.  This is a difficult topic to discuss for most people because trust like love can be an illusive emotion. Not sure how to describe it. Why do we require it? What does it mean to you? How do we trust when no one has ever given us something to trust about? These are questions I hear a lot from clients and myself in my own evaluation of what trust is.

Well I cannot say that I am an expert, but I can share with you what the experts say… and give you my opinions about this topic based on what my feelings are.

This is a fairly good article on the topic of rebuilding trust after betrayal

I have had some difficulty in writing this particular entry of the blogs, because on a personal level, the breech of trust has been a prevalent message for me on a personal level.  In the course of this year, I have experienced in people that are close to me, turning on me and betraying me on many levels. So in the course of doing research, a lot of my own stuff came up.  When I evaluated it, did my list, I recognized that I was continuing to have the expectation that people would do what they said, behave a certain way, keep their promises, honor my belongings in my home and vehicle, to honor my wishes, my physical body, to do a job well done for monies earned, be my friend and not my enemy. That is a lot of expectations to have out there in the thinking processes. Then came the word FAITH. To have faith that everything will be handled and fixed. If I believe it will. But you know in the throws of my panic, and I definitely was panicked! I found it very difficult to focus on anything else except how in the world was I going to do all I needed to do and make things come together. This led to looking at my need to control. I had to tell myself, I had no control over any of the things which were taking place around me. And mad about it! Then I had to come to a place of acceptance with that idea, not easily, my inner child was fighting this big time! So once I evaluated what I did and did not have control over, I was able to breath again.  I was able to put things out of the emotional state back into a spiritual state with some deep breathing, talking to a friend, food, crying to release the built up frustrations, rest and then processing.  In the end, it was a computer error, all was fine and I was not as bad off as I originally thought. But I will tell you the drama that set off in my mind was pretty amazing even to me! I was going there! After so much loss this past several years, after all the fighting I did last month to make the radio show and such come together financially, the friends I have had to say goodbye to for good, trust and trusting the universe was not in my mindset. I had to consciously pull it back to get to that point of balance again.

So what is trust?

Trust is a comfort zone within our being that allows us to fully relax and be ourselves. To know that our confidences will be kept and our beings honored and respected. By my definition anyways.

On a metaphysical level however, it is holding onto expectations. If we are having expectations and or judgment about a thing then we are not coming from a place of unconditional love. Because unconditional love has no room for either by definition. Things just ARE. People are where they are in their path and lessons, and sometimes they can act out of character due to outside circumstances, or imbalances which are not within our ability to control. Circumstances can look one way and turn out a totally different way then we thought. If we allow our past experiences to rule our reactions, we are not coming from that place of peace or love.

Forgiveness:

When we agree to forgive a broken trust or betrayal it doesn’t mean that we forget. But it is in the not forgetting that we remember our lessons with regard to that incident.  It’s in the remembering that we recognize certain signs right? Many people would agree with that statement, but the reality is if we are staying truly in the moment, in the right now, then we are not experiencing the exact same thing in the exact same way, we are in a different place because we are different and have hopefully grown from that past experience. If we have not let go then there will be reactions, expectations and lots of self sabotage.  Of course I am not referring to life threatening circumstances, I would not recommend that you stay with a person who continues to be abusive, but you can in the recovery come to a place of tolerance and forgiveness of that person.  If we know a person is a chronic liar, white lies, half truths, omissions of facts to the whole story, or just bold face lies to our face. The person is more then likely coming from a place of fear that they would feel the need to lie.  So try to see things from their eyes. Why are they doing what it is they are doing? Are they ill? Are they afraid? Are they within their rational thinking zone? If not then know that they will have to deal with the consequences of their own actions. They will be repaid by the law of cause and effect. Look at them with pity not anger and loathing and disgust, with compassion for the pain they must be under. This is coming from the place of uncondtional love. Remember, ” Let he who has not sinned cast the first stone.” None of us are perfect. We all make mistakes. Sometimes those mistakes are repeated because the person does not see themselves as doing that, i.e. compulsive liars, sociopaths, co dependents, addicts, or just people who are in denial or believe their own lies they have been telling them so long. In the instance of adultery, this is something that can definitely be worked around and through if you love your partner enough to put the effort and the work involved to make it work.  Often times cheating is a symptom of much deeper rooted issues within a persona or a relationship. It’s the core reasons WHY someone looks outside of a relationship which are the real culprits of the break down. Communications are essential, being honest with one’s self and then their partner is also essential.

Honesty. To be able to at the very least, be honest with yourself. When you are cheating and lying to your family, you are a liar. That’s not calling names, it’s stating a fact. You are lying to yourself to think otherwise.  If you are not following through with your word, you are lying. If you are not keeping promises or going back on them, you are lying.  If you are flaking on appointments and making excuses that’s still a form of lying and if you are telling a half truth, or half information, that too is a lie.

Webster’s defines these terms as such:

Lie-

intransitive verb 1 : to make an untrue statement with intent to deceive
2 : to create a false or misleading impression

transitive verb : to bring about by telling lies <lied his way out of trouble>

synonyms lie, prevaricate, equivocate, palter, fib mean to tell an untruth. lie is the blunt term, imputing dishonesty <lied about where he had been>. prevaricate softens the bluntness of lie by implying quibbling or confusing the issue <during the hearings the witness did his best to prevaricate>. equivocate implies using words having more than one sense so as to seem to say one thing but intend another <equivocated endlessly in an attempt to mislead her inquisitors>. palter implies making unreliable statements of fact or intention or insincere promises <a swindler paltering with his investors>. fib applies to a telling of a trivial untruth <fibbed about the price of the new suit>.
Liar-
Main Entry: li·ar
Pronunciation: \ˈlī(-ə)r\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English lēogere, from lēogan to lie — more at lie
Date: before 12th century

: a person who tells lies

Honesty-

Main Entry: hon·es·ty
Pronunciation: \ˈä-nəs-tē\
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural hon·es·ties
Date: 14th century

1 obsolete : chastity
2 a : fairness and straightforwardness of conduct b : adherence to the facts : sincerity
3 : any of a genus (Lunaria) of European herbs of the mustard family with toothed leaves and flat disk-shaped siliques

synonyms honesty, honor, integrity, probity mean uprightness of character or action. honesty implies a refusal to lie, steal, or deceive in any way. honor suggests an active or anxious regard for the standards of one’s profession, calling, or position. integrity implies trustworthiness and incorruptibility to a degree that one is incapable of being false to a trust, responsibility, or pledge. probity implies tried and proven honesty or integrity.
Trust:
Main Entry: 1trust
Pronunciation: \ˈtrəst\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, probably of Scandinavian origin; akin to Old Norse traust trust; akin to Old English trēowe faithful — more at true
Date: 13th century

1 a : assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something b : one in which confidence is placed
2 a : dependence on something future or contingent : hope b : reliance on future payment for property (as merchandise) delivered : credit <bought furniture on trust>
3 a : a property interest held by one person for the benefit of another b : a combination of firms or corporations formed by a legal agreement; especially : one that reduces or threatens to reduce competition
4 archaic : trustworthiness
5 a (1) : a charge or duty imposed in faith or confidence or as a condition of some relationship (2) : something committed or entrusted to one to be used or cared for in the interest of another b : responsible charge or office c : care, custody <the child committed to her trust>

in trust : in the care or possession of a trustee

Betray-

Main Entry: be·tray
Pronunciation: \bi-ˈtrā, bē-\
Function: verb
Etymology: Middle English, from be- + trayen to betray, from Anglo-French trahir, from Latin tradere — more at traitor
Date: 13th century

transitive verb 1 : to lead astray; especially : seduce
2 : to deliver to an enemy by treachery
3 : to fail or desert especially in time of need <betrayed his family>
4 a : to reveal unintentionally <betray one’s true feelings> b : show, indicate c : to disclose in violation of confidence <betray a secret>intransitive verb : to prove false

synonyms see reveal

be·tray·al \-ˈtrā(-ə)l\ noun

be·tray·er \-ˈtrā-ər\ noun

FORGIVE:

Main Entry: for·give
Pronunciation: \fər-ˈgiv, fȯr-\
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): for·gave \-ˈgāv\; for·giv·en \-ˈgi-vən\; for·giv·ing
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English forgifan, from for- + gifan to give
Date: before 12th century

transitive verb 1 a : to give up resentment of or claim to requital for <forgive an insult> b : to grant relief from payment of <forgive a debt>
2 : to cease to feel resentment against (an offender) : pardon <forgive one’s enemies>intransitive verb : to grant forgiveness

EXPECTATION:

Main Entry: ex·pec·ta·tion
Pronunciation: \ˌek-ˌspek-ˈtā-shən, ik-\
Function: noun
Date: 1540

1 : the act or state of expecting : anticipation <in expectation of what would happen>
2 a : something expected <not up to expectations> <expectations for an economic recovery> b : basis for expecting : assurance <they have every expectation of success> c : prospects of inheritance —usually used in plural
3 : the state of being expected
4 a : expectancy 2b b : expected value

ex·pec·ta·tion·al \-ˈtā-shə-nəl, -shnəl\ adjective

JUDGMENT:

Main Entry: judg·ment
Variant(s): or judge·ment \ˈjəj-mənt\
Function: noun
Date: 13th century

1 a : a formal utterance of an authoritative opinion b : an opinion so pronounced
2 a : a formal decision given by a court b (1) : an obligation (as a debt) created by the decree of a court (2) : a certificate evidencing such a decree
3 a capitalized : the final judging of humankind by God b : a divine sentence or decision; specifically : a calamity held to be sent by God
4 a : the process of forming an opinion or evaluation by discerning and comparing b : an opinion or estimate so formed
5 a : the capacity for judging : discernment b : the exercise of this capacity
6 : a proposition stating something believed or asserted

synonyms see sense
BALANCE-
9 : mental and emotional steadiness
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE:
to love unconditionally, no expectation, no judgment or opinion, to allow people and things to just BE as they are right now.
If we are communicating well and effectively, if we are coming from a place of forgiveness and unconditional love, if we are allowing the other person to be themselves in a non controlling fashion, if we are being courteous and kind and understanding and compassionate to those around us, trust comes naturally. When we lack trust, we are coming from a place of lack, of fear, of non belief and non faith. This does nothing for the other party or the situation, only serves to make us upset and angry. We have to release the expectations that people behave a certain way or we are trying to exert control over something we have no control over. Thus our feelings of betrayal. We are truly responsible for how WE feel. No one else. Trust in yourself. Trust in the universe that all things are perfect at all times. Trust in the ebbs and flows of life. Give thanks even in the moments of greatest frustration and despair.
FAITH- Find Answers In The Heart!  If you are truly a spiritual person, then KNOW that things will work out for your highest good and the good of all concerned. KNOW that you are not alone EVER! When we say a prayer, say it like this…”Thank you for <insert the thing you are asking for>” and KNOW that it’s been heard and will be answered one way or the other. Then LEAVE IT THERE! If you begin to worry, or fret or discuss it you take it back from the universe! Let go and let god! Means leave it there, and know in your heart that it will be handled! If you can do this, if you consciously make that choice in the middle of the worry, you will see that things clear up much more quickly, answers are revealed, solutions brought to the light, opportunities open up again. We are truly our own worst enemies. We muck things up all the time. People are human. Humans learn from experiences good and bad. Sometimes, it takes a lifetime of experience to get it, sometimes several, but it is neither right or wrong. For there is no right or wrong. There is what works and what doesn’t work for us. Cause and effect. But there is no right and wrong. Just what is.
So if you are struggling with the issues of trust. Whether to trust or not. How to feel that peace and flow where trust and safety just are there. Begin with YOU. Look at those things which you do not really wish to admit to yourself. Healer, heal thyself. Begin with being honest with yourself brutally honest. See if this doesn’t change your attitude and your life just a little bit. It is something which is earned, how we treat each other makes a big difference. Consistency and repeated behaviors instill security and that safety feeling. Keeping confidences. Keeping your word. Things that we all would like to have. So put that out. Be an honest person to the best of your ability. Be a forgiving and caring person, you would want that if the shoe were on the other foot. Do not be extreme, use good common sense. If someone is hurting you, do what you can to stop them from doing it again. Do not put yourself into circumstances which will encourage the behavior. If someone steals from you, do not leave valuable things alone with them. If someone constantly lies to you, take it with a grain of salt and verify it. Do not accuse just because they have done it before, doesn’t always mean they will do it again, so ASK for clarification when words and actions do not line up. If they still lie then walk away, do not engage. Feel sorry for them and walk away knowing you know what the truth is. For they may see their version of the truth and they are entitled to it even if you disagree. If someone has left you for another, then they are not meant to be with you, it’s their choice too. If they have been unfaithful and broken an agreement, look at the reasons why and assess the core issues. It may or may not work out, you may find the other issues are not ones that can be worked out, then again you may find they can be and it will bring you together even stronger then before. No the love and the feelings can never be the same, but we can choose which way they go. We choose, we decide. We also when dealing with others have to honor their freedom of choice too. That’s a tough one to swallow for most. Why we love them and they will not love us back. What did we do ?? Sometimes, most times, it’s not about YOU. It’s about them and their own issues or insecurities or fears. Sometimes its just time to move on, people are in our lives a day, a season or a lifetime. Not all things are meant to last forever, just for their time. Acceptance is difficult. WE want to control outcomes, we want to control other’s behaviors. Reality, looking at things as they are , not as they could be or should be or were.  I’m sure there are many out there who would disagree with this assessment of trust and the solutions it provides and that’s fine. These are my perspectives, how I get through, how I can forgive even the most dreadful behaviors. Perhaps some of this will  help you or someone you know when you are faced with betrayal of any kind. The disappointment which stems from expectations not met. That’s on us. Not the other person. They have to live with their actions and words and choices. Just as we all do. But we can overcome the lack of trust in others and ourselves. It takes work and real honesty within ourselves.
I think that’s enough for today. Blessed be, one and ALL.
with love n light in my heart,
Kimberly
Here’s some other experts and what they have to say on this topic.

Patty German-Individual Therapy: Learning to Trust Again

Burt Harding on Trust
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Burt Harding on What to do when caught in emotional suffering….What’s Next?
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Burt Harding on Loving Acceptance Brings Total Change…
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Learning to trust again …. Why should we?
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Part II of Learning to Trust Again….
There are 15 entries to this last video series, you can access them on the right side of youtubes other videos.
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Learning to trust others the right way….
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Be an encourager
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How to get your partner to trust you again….

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Greetings and salutations! One and All! Hard to believe this month is ending already. We here at Illuminations of Light have been very busy working on the technical ends of the show for February 16th!  This is why I have been quiet on the blog. We did do the show on OUR WORLDS and the main web site http://www.illuminationsoflight.com has the replay of the show available. We had a great time doing the show and we learned a lot! So I am getting excited as we have more guests contacting us and agreeing to do the shows. This whole journey has been quite a ride and I am loving each and every moment of it! I am so grateful and humbled for all the support from friends and loved ones thank you so much for all your help in the backround helping to make the show great! SZ and Mtn-Hawk and Miss xpression of light, they all have worked hard preparing for this great day!

I was pretty happy to be able to say hello to my granddaughter! What a joy she is! I tell you that girl is special! But then again so is her momma! They grow up so quickly! It truly is amazing.

So today I wanted to talk about STRESS.  A condition which affects almost every person on this planet just about. Stress is the number one generator of dis-ease within the body and affects every aspect of our lives when we are not able to get it under control.

According to Medicine Net.com, “What is stress?

Stress is simply a fact of nature — forces from the outside world affecting the individual. The individual responds to stress in ways that affect the individual as well as their environment. Hence, all living creatures are in a constant interchange with their surroundings (the ecosystem), both physically and behaviorally. This interplay of forces, or energy, is of course present in the relationships between all matter in the universe, whether it is living (animate) or not living (inanimate). However, there are critical differences in how different living creatures relate to their environment. These differences have far-reaching consequences for survival. Because of the overabundance of stress in our modern lives, we usually think of stress as a negative experience, but from a biological point of view, stress can be a neutral, negative, or positive experience.

In general, stress is related to both external and internal factors. External factors include the physical environment, including your job, your relationships with others, your home, and all the situations, challenges, difficulties, and expectations you’re confronted with on a daily basis. Internal factors determine your body’s ability to respond to, and deal with, the external stress-inducing factors. Internal factors which influence your ability to handle stress include your nutritional status, overall health and fitness levels, emotional well-being, and the amount of sleep and rest you get.”

They go onto say…..

What are the signs and symptoms of poorly managed stress?

Excess stress can manifest itself in a variety of emotional, behavioral, and even physical symptoms, and the symptoms of stress vary enormously among different individuals. Common somatic (physical) symptoms often reported by those experiencing excess stress include sleep disturbances, muscle tension, headache, gastrointestinal disturbances, and fatigue. Emotional and behavioral symptoms that can accompany excess stress include nervousness, anxiety, changes in eating habits including overeating, loss of enthusiasm or energy, and mood changes. Of course, none of these signs or symptoms means for certain that there is an elevated stress level since all of these symptoms can be caused by other medical and/or psychological conditions.

It is also known that people under stress have a greater tendency to engage in unhealthy behaviors, such as excessive use or abuse of alcohol and drugs, cigarette smoking, and making poor nutritional choices, than their less-stressed counterparts. These unhealthy behaviors can further increase the severity of symptoms related to stress, often leading to a “vicious cycle” of symptoms and unhealthy behaviors.

The experience of stress is highly individualized. What constitutes overwhelming stress for one person may not be perceived as stress by another. Likewise, the symptoms and signs of poorly managed stress will be different for each person.”

“….

How does the response to stress work?

While the complete story is not fully known, scientists understand much about how the response to stress works. The two main systems involved are the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis and the SNS. (These systems are described later.) Triggered (activated) primarily by an area in the brain stem (lowest part of brain) called the locus coeruleus, the SNS secretes epinephrine and norepinephrine. The five most important concepts to remember about these two systems are that

    1. Watch for the next instance in which you find yourself becoming annoyed or angry at something trivial or unimportant. Then practice letting go, making a conscious choice not to become angry or upset. Do not allow yourself to waste thought and energy where it isn’t deserved. Effective anger management is a tried-and-true stress reducer.
    1. Breathe slowly and deeply. Before reacting to the next stressful occurrence, take three deep breaths and release them slowly. If you have a few minutes, try out a relaxation technique such as meditation or guided imagery.
    1. Whenever you feel overwhelmed by stress, practice speaking more slowly than usual. You’ll find that you think more clearly and react more reasonably to stressful situations. Stressed people tend to speak fast and breathlessly; by slowing down your speech you’ll also appear less anxious and more in control of any situation.
    1. Jump-start an effective time management strategy. Choose one simple thing you have been putting off (e.g., returning a phone call, making a doctor’s appointment), and do it immediately. Just taking care of one nagging responsibility can be energizing and can improve your attitude.
    1. Get outdoors for a brief break. Our grandparents were right about the healing power of fresh air. Don’t be deterred by foul weather or a full schedule. Even five minutes on a balcony or terrace can be rejuvenating.
    1. Drink plenty of water and eat small, nutritious snacks. Hunger and dehydration, even before you’re aware of them, can provoke aggressiveness and exacerbate feelings of anxiety and stress.
    1. Do a quick posture check. Hold your head and shoulders upright and avoid stooping or slumping. Bad posture can lead to muscle tension, pain, and increased stress. If you’re stuck at a desk most of the day, avoid repetitive strain injuries and sore muscles by making sure your workstation reflects good ergonomic design principles. Take our Workstation Quiz to find out how to make your workstation more ergonomically safe.
    1. Plan something rewarding for the end of your stressful day, even if only a relaxing bath or half an hour with a good book. Put aside work, housekeeping or family concerns for a brief period before bedtime and allow yourself to fully relax. Don’t spend this time planning tomorrow’s schedule or doing chores you didn’t get around to during the day. Remember that you need time to recharge and energize yourself. You’ll be much better prepared to face another stressful day.
  • 1. they are governed by a feedback loop to regulate their response (In a feedback loop, increased amounts of a substance — for example, a hormone — inhibit the release of more of that substance, while decreased amounts of the substance stimulate the release of more of that substance.);

    2. they interact with each other;

    3. they influence other brain systems and functions;

    4. genetic (inherited) variability affects the responses of both systems. (That is, depending on their genes, different people can respond differently to similar stresses.);

    5. prolonged or overwhelming responses of these systems can be harmful to an individual.”

    They have a ton more information on this if you are interested in reading all the articles on this topic click here.

    The issues of stress, surpass any economic range, educational range, race range. It is a condition which has touch all of us from time to time. As a parent I am hyper aware of the stresses in my own life as well as my children’s. Here is a great article on teen stress, click here.

    Stress touches all areas of our lives, the work place, the family and home, school and spiritual.  Physically it is said that every ache and pain in our body is tied into some form of emotional stress.  So you can see how stress would be something one would want to get a handle on and be able to identify. I found an interactive stress indicator on WEBMD.

    To find out how stressed you are right now, use this Interactive Tool: What Is Your Stress Level?

    Panic attacks, difficulty breathing, asthema, heart dis-ease, hypertension, eating disorders and digestive issues, headaches, fatigue, body aches, loss of sex drive, loss of appetite or increased appetite, depression; all of these sound like a bad list of side effects to the latest and greatest drugs on the market, but they are very real symptoms of this invisible destroyer called stress.  Here are some solutions the experts feel are useful tools to reduce stress. I would add a couple of more to theirs at the end.

    Eight Immediate Stress-Busters

    Medical Author: Melissa Conrad Stoppler, MD
    Medical Editor: Jay W. Marks, MD

    Most of our lives are filled with family, work, and community obligations, and at some point we feel as though we are “running on empty.” Here are eight immediate stress busters to help “fill up the tank!” So take deep relaxing breath and read on.

Helpguide.org suggests the following on the subject of work place stress:

Coping with work stress in today’s uncertain climate

For workers everywhere, the troubled economy may feel like an emotional roller coaster. “Layoffs” and “budget cuts” have become bywords in the workplace, and the result is increased fear, uncertainty, and higher levels of stress. Since job and workplace stress grow in times of economic crisis, it’s important to learn new and better ways of coping with the pressure. The ability to manage stress in the workplace can make the difference between success or failure on the job. Your emotions are contagious, and stress has an impact on the quality of your interactions with others. The better you are at managing your own stress, the more you’ll positively affect those around you and the less other people’s stress will negatively affect you.

You can learn how to manage job stress

There are a variety of steps you can take to reduce both your overall stress levels and the stress you find on the job and in the workplace. These include:

  • Taking responsibility for improving your physical and emotional well-being.
  • Avoiding pitfalls by identifying knee jerk habits and negative attitudes that add to the stress you experience at work.
  • Learning better communication skills to ease and improve your relationships with management and coworkers.

Read the article from them here.

They go onto suggest :

Time management tips for reducing job stress

  • Create a balanced schedule. Analyze your schedule, responsibilities, and daily tasks. All work and no play is a recipe for burnout. Try to find a balance between work and family life, social activities and solitary pursuits, daily responsibilities and downtime.
  • Don’t over-commit yourself. Avoid scheduling things back-to-back or trying to fit too much into one day. All too often, we underestimate how long things will take. If you’ve got too much on your plate, distinguish between the “shoulds” and the “musts.” Drop tasks that aren’t truly necessary to the bottom of the list or eliminate them entirely.
  • Try to leave earlier in the morning. Even 10-15 minutes can make the difference between frantically rushing to your desk and having time to ease into your day. Don’t add to your stress levels by running late.
  • Plan regular breaks. Make sure to take short breaks throughout the day to sit back and clear your mind. Also try to get away from your desk for lunch. Stepping away from work to briefly relax and recharge will help you be more, not less, productive.

Task management tips for reducing job stress

  • Prioritize tasks. Make a list of tasks you have to do, and tackle them in order of importance. Do the high-priority items first. If you have something particularly unpleasant to do, get it over with early. The rest of your day will be more pleasant as a result.
  • Break projects into small steps. If a large project seems overwhelming, make a step-by-step plan. Focus on one manageable step at a time, rather than taking on everything at once.
  • Delegate responsibility. You don’t have to do it all yourself, whether at home, school, or on the job. If other people can take care of the task, why not let them? Let go of the desire to control or oversee every little step. You’ll be letting go of unnecessary stress in the process.

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My feelings are this, DO YOU! Massages and spa treatments, shopping for something new, exercise, music and dancing and singing, eat right the foods you eat can contribute to mood swings. Get enough sleep, take a short cat nap if you are able to, three days without sleep can cause psychotic episodes in some people. Sleep deprivation is one of the signs of too much stress. Good sex also generates endorphines which helps to balance out the stress levels in both men and women. Medical Marijuana can also reduce stress more effectively then alcohol. Meditation, getting back to nature, listening to nature sounds, aromatherapy is also a nice way to relieve stress, lavender and chamomile are natural stress reducers, kava kava and st. john’s wort is also a good combo for short term stress relievers naturally, take vitamins, especially E and D for the ladies out there and your B complexs, for hormonal relief, get a check up before you try any of these remedies checking thyroid and other metabolic functions and as with anything check with your physician on what will work for you. I also encourage you to study this topic more and do some google searches on the topic. This is something that is personal and can definitely be reduced this stress stuff.  Coloring is a great stress reducer as well as reading, cooking, gardening, knitting and talking to someone about things that are bothering you. Journaling is another great technique. Whatever it takes to make your stress levels come down. The evidence out there shows that it’s a killer, a silent killer of our many bodies, emotional, physical and spiritual. Take care of yourself and DO YOU!  You are no good to anyone if you are not in good health. I am not a doctor and this is NOT medical advice. There are professionals out there for that. Accupuncture/ Accupressure, Natralopathy, Doctor’s of Osteopathy all are good alternatives to seek when looking for healthy and natural ways to reduce stress.

Loving yourself. Just a few more ways we can do that! I do hope you enjoyed the information. Below are a few calming meditation tapes.

Enjoy the moment of now, yesterday and tomorrow are of no consequence, the real changes happen right now, this very moment in your mind. How do you choose to feel? Do you have control over any of it?? Are you just worrying about you, your life and what you are doing? Do not let other people’s stresses become your own. Check with a doctor to make sure there is nothing medically wrong. Seek out many sources and perspectives with any of the topics I offer in these blogs. Be proactive in your own health and well being!

Peace , Love and Light! Until next time~ Kimberly

A lovely stress relieving video by Ken Davis

Peaceful Blue by Dorothea

Stress Relief 101 video from YouTube

Joe DePalma’s This Too Shall Pass

Brainwave stress reduction video

Stress Relief Tips & Exercises

**picture of hawaiian scene provided by Miss Rae Jensan on Facebook Thanks Rae!

Peace, be safe! xox Kimberly

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Greetings and salutations one and All!  Happy Tuesday to you! I do hope today’s blog finds you well!  Today I would like to focus on forgiveness.  During this time frame, I have noticed there are quite a few people coming out in defensive stances and taking things personally. I have said before that in order to stay in the heart, you must learn to accept people as they are, where they are in their own path.

We have no control over other people, only ourselves, our own reactions/responses to various people and situations. And IF we are getting reactive and angry or hurt, then we need to look to ourselves to find out why. Where is this emotion coming from? What is there that I am supposed to see? What fears are at the core? Why is it bothering me that people do not like my work? Why is it bothering me this person is being unreasonable? Yes, normal REACTION is self defense, but the RESPONSE could look more like, “You know, I really do love you, and because I do love you, I am walking away or hanging up the phone right now. When you are done with your moment then get back to me!” Then let it drop at your feet. Think about something else or do something else in another location.

What happens quite often times, if we do not do this immediate releasing and allowing, then we stuff that emotion until the core of it explodes in our face. Usually through some over reaction to something else. Not feeling good about myself because others my whole life have told me so. I could never amount to anything because they told me so! These are old tapes playing that are not truth. They are someone else’s truth forced upon you that you accepted and bought into. So in order for us to deal with the lack of self worth, our higher self will call forth people continuously! YOU  brought them into play with that particular message so you could work on this issue within yourself! Learn to recognize your own responsibility in why things happen to you. Why particular circumstances are presented to you. This is not the solid rule here either. Sometimes we are put into situations to witness some behavior or being so that we can discern later when we see it again, or just to bare witness to a scene or behavior. We are Creator’s eyes. What we see reports back to the ONE consciousness.

So if you were to step outside the situation, scene of the crime, whatever, and really look at it from an observer’s perspective. How was the other person’s bio rythm that day, or how was their horirary chart in that situation. What was their intention, and how did the actions and words differ, and what was the fear base in this whole situation? Mine and theirs. This is how you begin to break things down. When you can look to see the patterns in your experiences. i.e. a person needs to deal with co dependency so they choose a family with nothing but alcoholics so they can experience that. A person who needs to deal with abandonment fears will have multiple failed relationships until they over come the fear of abandonment. Do you see? This again is how we begin to take responsibility for our own stuff. It’s not about what the other person did or didn’t do, it’s about how you looked at it, how you perceived it, how you experienced it,  and to be honest with yourself about it, i.e. admit you could have possibly mis interpreted the other person’s perspective because you were playing old tapes, bringing the past to the present, or can you see this person as just playing a role , like role playing to help you see yourself. Holding the mirror for you to see you?

I do not proclaim to be anything except a woman who has experienced an awful lot of this in her own personal journey and learned a lot along the way.  When I get discouraged I look behind me and see how far i have come, even though the road ahead is still seemingly long. I can perservier.

People have no idea what it is to be a light worker in some capacity. We get hit harder, faster, more often then most with just the most bizzare situations and circumstances, which never seem to stop! WHY?! We demand to know! Why me?! Then we want to blame everything and everyone else around us or the situation. They didn’t have to say it that way! Can you believe he did that! They don’t like me! This type of behavior is called projection. When we blame others for our own issues. Again the mirror thing.  We are really mad at ourselves. Mad that we allowed this to happen. Our inner child runs rampant with fear and causes all kinds of crazy behavior and reactions. This is part of the human journey for many. Not forgiving can manifest in all kinds of ways and colors. It’s not just pinpointing to one area, it is usually many areas of our lives which are affected. The dis-ease of carrying all that anger and hurt around within our being is a huge weight. We auto dispense it when it gets to be too great! Part of the trick is what I just explained earlier in this conversation. Prevention through logic and unconditional love. If it’s too late for that and the damage has been done, then do some meditation work around the person or situation. Write it out, take a picture of that person and draw a heart around it. Remember the good things this person brings to you, even if it’s hard to find right then. Make a tape recording and listen to it later, write a letter and put it away for a few days when you have a different light on things. I have found that if I take time to not react, and just be still until I get to a place that I have the greater understanding, I will not say a word until I have thought about it and what I want to say about it if anything. Most times, I find, it’s so NOT MY ISSUE! It’s the other person’s! I do not have to pick it up and FIX it! I do not have to FIX THEM either! So I can walk away, thinking to myself, I feel sorry for them being in such a place of pain they have to react this way. I instantly forgive them for they know not what they say or do….for if they did , surely they would not behave in this manner.

Here’s the nuts and bolts of it. THE LAWS OF CAUSE AND EFFECT AND KARMA. What we put out we get back three fold and sometimes more if we did it with malintent. Here let me say that just a tad bit louder so you can really HEAR IT! WHAT WE PUT OUT, WE GET BACK!

If you put out anger and hatred towards another person, then that is what we are going to attract to our lives. More people, more circumstances, same stories different actors. Holding onto anger and fear etc. Doesn’t affect the other person ONE LITTLE BIT! Who is getting affected? Who is sick and all high blood pressured out with tears and a headache and cannot eat?? Them! NOT! YOUUUUU! Why in the world would we do this to ourselves? Well, because those are all triggers to tell us to look at it, so we can just avoid it or accept it more easily the next round.

If you look at it this way, that this is self sabotaging and really counter productive to feeling happy, we can at this point make a different choice. We can choose to forgive them and pray for them that they get their lesson with ease and grace. Because we are all human. We are all subject to the same sets of lessons just in a different order. We cannot judge them, non forgiveness is a form of judgment. We have all been there at some point in some lifetime if you are an old soul. We get more of the lessons, because we already passed the semi final exams. In this lifetime we are in the finals. So all of our accumulated experiences in all lifetimes are coming to a nexus point. That is why all the bad stuff happens.

Or perceived bad, I try to not see things in duality anymore, things just ARE. Not good or bad , right or wrong. It’s not an easy thing to forgive, and to take responsibility for our own stuff. Nor is it easy to admit we need to forgive ourselves in addition to other people.

It’s important we forgive for ourselves, for our sake, our health and well being, for our spiritual growth. Otherwise it’s toxic and will like all poisons come out worse the longer it’s in our system.

Make a list of the important relationships in your life. What was the common message each brought to you? What are the patterns. In seeing them on a cognacant level we can then adjust our thinking and address the issues. Until then , until we can see it and admit it within ourselves. and believe me acceptance is at times the most difficult thing to do! Phew! A doozy in some instances! The key is to forgive, not necessarily forget, but forgive for sure. You will have learned a very valuable lesson if you learn this one well.

Love n light to one and All! xoxo Kimberly

Here’s a song that is always my theme song when the energies get thick!

Some beautiful reasons to forgive…..

Dr. Laura on Forgiveness

More from Dr. Laura

Letting go… Dr. Laura

that kinda reminded me of the story the hopi told that i posted last week!

This next video is the Gift of Forgiveness-Healing Humanity

Thought this was interesting too. I do not look for the videos until after I write what I think, just so you know. These are really good affirmations for me that what I am saying is good and true. Smiles. Thank you spirit for guiding me so well. Aho!

This is a good example of real forgiveness…..

I do hope you found these videos thought provoking and will lead you to journey within. God bless you each and everyone !

Until we meet again!

Love n Light and blessings!

Kimberly

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