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Posts Tagged ‘psychological’

Our Own Petitelion Has Some Wisdom About How To Deal With Loneliness!!!

 By: Lianna Giovannoni

      It is highly improbable that anyone ever would decide to wake up one morning and declare to the universe to God “Let there be loneliness! Please God bless with the miracle of loneliness or ask for loneliness as they wish upon a star! Loneliness is not an item on anybodies “bucket list”( things they want to experience before they die) No loneliness is not one of those things that people find and are willing to die for or take an oath for ,devote their lives to. It is never included in a small child’s silent prayer before bedtime. There are no monuments, walls, plaques, etc. that have been erected in honor of loneliness, no encouraging or patriotic or devoted slogans for loneliness(Give me Loneliness or give me Death!LOL).Loneliness is relegated to stories and poems and those are referred to as tragedies or tragic poems.(Dictionary meaning: a medieval narrative poem or tale typically describing downfall of a someone. or a story,poem or play that ends in some misfortune., a serious drama typically describing a conflict between the protagonist and a superior force (as destiny) and having a sorrowful or disastrous conclusion that elicits pity or terror , the literary genre of tragic dramas, a disastrous event ( calamity misfortune). Yes, there are poems and stories etc. that use lonely or loneliness to describe something like the look of a tree or the sound of bird, like ” the only thing on this remote mountain were just clouds and lonely pines, or the only thing that could be heard in the dark was the lonely call of the owl”. The use of lonely or loneliness as a descriptor is probably one of it’s most positive attributes.

     Loneliness is worse than sad. Sad is an integer to the formula of loneliness, such as sad+(bleakness/desolate/alone)= loneliness or sadness x 2=loneliness….in other words lonely has sad in it. It is a darkness that eats you from the inside out.

     Alone is not lonely…Alone just means that you do not have company. Whereas lonely is an constant ache of absence, one that even if you are surrounded by people you feel isolated, alone, bleak, desolate, imprisoned by some invisible wall. Loneliness lays dormant in everyone of us waiting for the right catalyst to wake it up and begin to thrive and grow. There are an infinite amount of catalysts out there, as many as their are feeling creatures and beings in the universe. No one or no living feeling, thinking, being or creature is immune. Although some seem not to suffer from it’s grip as much but they do not have a complete immunity. I’ve even seen pets express loneliness and sorrow, like when on owner dies or when another of the household animals die or leave. I, personally watched with my pets this , we had a male and a female Siamese cats that were pretty much raised together, and when the slightly older male passed away,the female literally cried, would not eat, and even pulled out big patches of her own fur out. She would go each day for weeks to each of the heat register looking for him (for the last 3 years or so of the male cat Robert had a touch of arthritis and would lay on those to loosen his stiff muscles in the morning or when it was very cold weather) she would look for him and she would see he was not there, she would look up at me with such a sadness in her eyes and in her body language and she would let a sad wail that sounded almost like a young woman crying out in loneliness, despair. It was heart wrenching, she would not let anyone console her or touch her.

     Loneliness can not only come from loosing someone thru death, or absence but from a perception that no one can understand or relate to you or that you don’t fit in for some perceived belief or story that you told yourself that somehow you are different or less than and that no one is there that wants or would desire to share life with you experiencing all of life’s ups and downs, no one to share the joys and sorrows, no one that would or could understand you or would share or care the same opinion as to what you consider significant. That there would no one to make memories with that you can share together later no one to enjoy the little things in life with. Sometimes when there is a loss of a person you life such as a life partner, husband/wife or a best friend that you shared all of those things with for a long time, when they are no longer in your life due to death or a breakup because of that loss and the grief that comes from that it may seem to you that you will never be able to find anyone to fill that space in life the void left from those kinds of loss can create such a deep grief that it creates a wall of despair and an over the top feeling alone. Because of that deep loss because of the grief a very pervasive and unique type of loneliness ensues and nothing or no one will be able to change that sense of aloneness the grief of the loss the darkness the sadness that is gripping you, except for going thru your grieving process and the healing effect of time.

     Loneliness can also awaken and grow when you feel so different from those around you that you convince yourself to believe that there will never be anyone for you. You can experience and create a prison of loneliness when you perceive that an impenetrable barrier exists between you and everyone else due to language and/or cultural differences or you moved to a new area where you don’t know anyone or if you suddenly get ill or disabled or anything that you perceive as a barrier between you and other people.

     First of all like I mentioned before, alone is not lonely. A lot of times, alone is what is preferred,wanted and sometimes what is needed. It is important to be comfortable with your own company and to be confident that you are a complete whole individual rather than feeling that you are not enough or that you are incomplete. Sometimes alone is necessary for your mental and/or physical well being. Alone gives us the best way to get perspective for yourself to gain clarity on life decisions , be alone with your thoughts gives us time to meditate, process things or events, gives the opportunity to quiet the chatter of your conscious mind to reduce stress, connect with your higher self or with the Higher power, to ground yourself,or just to have sometime to not be distracted or influenced by others to just to get to know your true nature without any input from others.

     Back to lonely now….First of all I want to say “YOU ARE NOT YOUR EMOTIONS YOU ARE NOT YOUR STORY! AND ALWAYS BE PRESENT!”. Having made those statements I want you to understand that I will be clarifying those shortly, so just keep them in your mind to the side. It will come together just bear with me thank you. What I am about to say can be applied to any emotional response but we are discussing lonely at the moment so if you find yourself asking the question “what about sad, or anxious just substitute the appropriate word for the word lonely okay? So here goes nothing!! Lonely is an emotion that you tied to the story you told yourself or bought into from someone else that your ego told to respond with to with the current situation that you seem to be experiencing at the present time. If we realize before you respond to the ego’s advice that all the emotions is just a list of emotional responses that you have available to choose from as the emotional response to the situations that you perceive you are experiencing as you move thru each moment in your life. Yes Virginia “YOU CHOOSE WHAT EMOTION YOU WANT TO FEEL in response to your perception of the reality of the situation that you are experiencing ” not the other way around. I know right now most of you are saying to yourself (I can’t help what I feel, I control what I feel they just happen, they just are! Yes, I know it may seem that way, because most of us for most of our lives our ego and all the other egos that you have been around throughout your life from the time of your birth, the ones you learned from and emulated as you were growing up have led you to believe (thru no fault of their own) and reinforced over and over one of the great human untruth list is that “We are at the mercy of our emotions” That they own you, they are calling the shots as to your emotional responses. Well guess what? That is the human ego’s ploy to get you to keep you believing that it is real so it can continue to exist and be in control keep you trapped by fear which creates resistance to soul expansion and to create a prison, to put a barrier to blind you to the truth so to speak and continue to buy into the falsehood, the false perception of the reality of your true nature, to state that plainly… to continue the illusion of “That you are at the mercy of your emotions and the story you tied them to, that you don’t have a choice in the matter”! Now, I’m not saying that people and situations, and old programs that you bought into for one reason or another don’t make it hard to choose a more positive emotional response. Let me just briefly give you a side note to this. I want you to understand that with the aforementioned “old programs that you bought into” It is nobody’s fault that you bought into that there was some wrong doing or error in discernment or that you are “stupid and should have known better!”, that is not it at all. It is just one of those human challenges that all of face so that we learn and grow and evolve. It is built into the system of the human process of growth. No one is exempt, no one has the knack or talent to not buy into old programming, because when you bought into them they were necessary for your survival at the moment but once they are loaded onto your hard drive it is difficult to know when or to remember to delete them. Know this “EVERYONE IS CHALLENGED BY THIS AND HAS THE SAME DIFFICULTY AS YOU IT IS JUST PART OF LIFE!” so “DON’T BEAT YOURSELF UP FOR IT PLEASE”!!!! It is just one of those things that is a standard catalysts for all beings to challenge us to learn and adjust and change things in the present so that we can have the opportunity to expand our souls, evolve as spiritual beings having a human experience. Bottom line,it is just part of life!Just like when we grew to adults from being children the average person’s bones lengthen and grow larger, and in puberty we get hair in places that we didn’t have as children, it is just part of becoming, well so is the program buying into thing. Again you are not your story nor are you your emotions. Anyone who tries to tell you or convince differently ….This is what I have to say to them….QUACK! Yes quack! Check this out, your emotions are yours! Yes folks, those puppies are yours to command! Yes, you too can choose what to feel as a response to stuff! Like I said before things, situations and people may make it more difficult to choose a positive emotional response, but with some effort and practice you can do it. As with anything that you learn, especially when it comes to changing old habits, old programs that we have used forever that really in the present do not serve us anymore it takes a minute to become successful at right away. Be patient with yourself do your best to remember to make the effort to slow yourself down, take a breath and as you do this stop the auto pilot decision making process and stop and take the time to think and ask yourself,”How can I stay in the present and choose a best emotional response for what I am truly experiencing now?…not based on what you responded to a similar story from your past that ego is trying to convince you still are but, on who you truly are from you true nature, from your high self, now in this present moment.With the intent of doing it for the highest good for yourself and the highest good of all. It does get easier as you go along and each time you remember to do this the closer you come to do it effortlessly and with a 100% success rate, and really you will be surprised that it will happen easier and quicker than you think! You may be asking yourself,” well how does this apply to loneliness? ” well, I will tell you. When you sense it creeping in and ego begins it’s existence saving dance running it’s jib in your head, trying to convince you to buy into it’s sales pitch. Take the time to look at the story or thought processes or beliefs behind why you are leaning towards choosing lonely as your emotional response, why this emotion is tied to the story why the ego is trying to convince you that this is the response that you need so desperately(from ego’s perspective) to respond with, why this present situation triggered ego to know it is time to get it’s licks in, why ego needs you to respond this way, what is ego’s motive and how this particular? response helps ego to maintain it’s illusionary existence? Ego is like when you were a kid and you had an imaginary friend that keeps sabotaging and causing trouble and because no one else can see them you get blamed for it’s pervasive behavior. Ego like the imaginary friend is forever trying to convince you that it is real, like Pinocchio before the fairy godmother got to him-he is not real and never will be , he will only able to fool you into thinking it is real and that you are the puppet! Well it is time to take back your throne be the ruler of your reality! It is time to pinch yourself and wake up and see that you aren’t the puppet and ego the puppeteer that you are the master puppeteer and ego is the wooden puppet! You are the creator and the master and ruler of your emotions and ego, they are to do your bidding, they are your subjects and not subject to them! When you are suffering with loneliness or that the situation that you are participating in is one that perhaps the all time best scenario for loneliness to thrive and grow and in the present moment you are not able to see a way out from your current perspective reality, that there could no other choice for you. Stop and without hesitation but with complete faith that no matter what things seem like it is truly an illusion do not believe it for one second!!!!!Tell loneliness to get out of town take a long walk off a short pier, take a hike! Turn and face it and see that it is just an illusion. Find your voice… use your imagination and create for yourself a much better reality for yourself by pulling yourself out of the illusion and create the new true perception of reality in your mind. Realize that emotions and stories come and go. Nothing stays the same, things change all the time, nothing is static. Even if it seems to you that it is the lowest worst moment of loneliness of sadness in the world and that is no way out of it could never ever change…Stop, breath, look at the story behind all of that fear, all the loneliness that you tied to that story, or belief/thoughts that aren’t you , are not in the present not your true nature, just not real and pull yourself out of your illusionary perspective and change your perspective to one that serves you better in this present moment, even if it is to incorporate this thought, It won’t be like this forever it will change because nothing is static. Maybe Close your eyes and hold on to that little bit and release the emotion(loneliness) as the emotional response to the present perspective of the situation . Say out loud if you want or just think it, it works either way, it is your coloring book your crayons, I Release it , let it go – then look at some other more positive way to perceive the situation as to why you are experiencing this based purely in the present moment from your true highest self change it to perhaps as an example: Maybe if I see this as something as this situation isn’t about choosing this to be bad but rather a gift of the opportunity to find a better way see this situation as a plus rather than a negative, an opportunity to gain than a loss, that it is for you not against you. you could change this into you have the opportunity to become a hero and to receive blessings by sacrificing and experiencing a little discomfort so that someone else will get an opportunity to get the chance to expand their soul their skill sets raise their vibration by getting a chance at to allow someone their chance to discern and choose to be compassionate, to recognize that one of their own needs their help , to motivate them to learn to be a better expression of God having a human experience, by motivating them to choose to become a more loving kind person, awaken them to their true nature, more of a true human being and discern and choose love and compassion recognize it is the time to give and transform themselves and receive blessings and grace which raises their vibration which raises the vibration of all humans. For your small sacrifice you not only do you get to be a hero and give someone a chance to receive blessings you get the chance to raise the whole humanity but you get to receive blessings and grace and to raise your self up which also does the same for all. So the point is look how much can be accomplished, look at the scope of the effect of just a small change in the way you choose to see things, change your perception of reality and your emotional response to things. It is so a win win win win situation for such a small amount of effort that it is just mind boggling for me. What a small thing to have to experience or that you have to put effort to accomplish so much.

So by changing in ways like this, taking that pause that moment, to slow down take that breath and adjust your perception of reality, let the old programming that no longer serves you go and eliminate that the loneliness story is tied to and choose a more positive emotional response to the present situation you become a big hero and everyone gets blessings.

     There are many surface ways to help you to accomplish these things to help with the changing your perceptions of reality of situations that you are experiencing with loneliness and it’s fertile ground for growth. Yes, surface ways, like joining a class that improves you, your body, your mind like yoga, or a class at your local junior college or something that you would like to see if it is something you might be interested in, there are many avenues for this such as local city town or rural community centers that offer adult classes at night or weekends etc. for things like arts and crafts, exercise, or dance, music, Internet and computer, parenting, golf, yoga and so on. These are good ways to break down some of the perceived barriers and to connect and meet people with similar interests. This a good way for humans to help prevent that fertile ground for loneliness. Some other surface ways are to join a spiritual group, or join a church or religious group of your own choice and persuasion, or create your own group of your choosing such as rock hunting, paranormal group, science, book reading, or whatever subject matter that floats your boat because I guarantee you aren’t alone in your interests. If you are sure how to find those people for the group[ you want to create, here are some tried and true suggestions for that issue. Advertise on your local bulletin boards in your local grocery stores etc, community centers, church and meeting centers, community colleges and adult education centers, freebie newspapers , or on the Internet sites like Facebook and Twitter or Crisis type sites. Volunteer for various charities in your community. If language is a barrier go to your local community centers and adult education centers or churches or spiritual centers and take a class in the pertinent language and from there you will find people with similar language barriers as you. If it is cultural thing, learn about the culture that you are living in, expand your being with knowledge and truth and with the knowledge you can understanding and release the fear and encourage tolerance in yourself and others or teach others about the truth of your culture which also helps others to release ignorance and fear and allows tolerance and compassion an understanding to grow. This not only helps to ward off the loneliness thing but it raises the vibrations for all. If you are disabled or are not able to go out and about, create a group that again is something that you are interested in or create a social network group of disabled or inside bound people or if you are elderly and are homebound etc. this social network group is applicable also, you can connect thru phone, or the Internet or something like Skype which is free thru the computer and you can have several people be able to meet virtually without ever leaving there residences. If you are able to each get an Internet video cameras for your computers you can actually see each other. Nowadays those kinds of things are fairly inexpensive and there are various federal, state and local programs that could help you. Don’t give up if you want to help yourself to choose something more positive this is a real good tried and true way to begin that process.When we take the initiative and realize we are the creators of our realities and do these little things it reaffirms to the universe what you want and need it is like an active prayer, it reaches into the Creator’s toy box and pulls out and brings to you the thing you want that is for highest good which with that intent brings the highest good of all. It brings the real magic that is in us by our birthright as the children of God. What it does, to put it another way, it allows you to connect and have the opportunity to find and share with you fellow human beings common interests and it changes the parameters of the situation and brings in the fertile ground for growth for the positive, breaks down your perception that there are barriers and replaces the barriers with clear smooth avenues to accomplish what just recently you perceived as impossible. This will make the growth of the possibility of loneliness less of a possibility to happen. I’m not saying it will eliminate it altogether at this moment of our existence but it will take it from a high and impossible to get over mountain to in the least a small hill that you face and if enough of us take this perspective it will a some point become a mere speed bump. It is however a step closer for all of us one day to make something that has been highly improbable to eliminate from the human experience to be eliminated within the human experience. All it takes is one person to tell or show one person and it will catch on and once again you can know that YOU ARE A HERO!

      So to recap for you, “You are not your story nor are you your emotions. Become aware and notice the story, the thoughts, the beliefs, the perception of reality that loneliness (or any negative emotions) that you have tied to those stories or beliefs. Release it. Take the moment to pause and take a breath ,and stop and think and decide and become aware change your perception of the reality of the situation, be present and choose the best positive emotional response ( and the list of all the positive is available for you to choose all the time with no exceptions!) based on who you truly are in the present moment. Play with them and discern the best one that serves you highest good and the highest good of all. Then congratulations are in order because you are now on the best and fastest road to becoming a hero in your own right to making loneliness(and if you apply that mind set to sad, despair, etc it will do the same for those) all those painful soul expanding and suffering causing catalyst for humanity evolving cease to exist in this current human experience(at minimize them enough that they are speed bumps instead of impossible to climb over mountains). For sure it is a fact it help you when it is your turn to experience those painful moments, you will be able to move thru them with the greatest of ease and grace and receive blessings for yourself and all humanity.

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Greetings to one and all!  In this life we basically live in two worlds(multidimensionality aside) outer world and inner world . One is very obvious, just look around you. Notice the familiarity of it how well known they are. Notice that you can put a name to everything trees, grass, hills, people, sky, buildings, cars , also notice you can say what each thing is, for ,  their cost, how long they last , who owns them, how attractive they are how unappealing they are, what happens at the end of their days.Look at the people , observe how you can categorize them men, women, children, old, young, tall, short, friends, strangers, familiar, unfamiliar some you can even name them, dark haired, light haired . well dressed, groomed, casual, scruffy.   Notice how easily they fall into categories, assume labels become understandable almost predictable. The world of your basic five senses is for the most part, clear, comprehensible one, full of sights sounds, tastes , smells and sensations that all define for most of us on the most basic of levels what it means to be alive.

The inner world is the other world , equally at times vivid and integral on a basic level what it means to be alive, but, it is for the most us not as easily described or understood. This inner world of thoughts, emotions, imagination, dreams and the mystery being that is always with you that you can’t see in this inner world, the one that sees both worlds, observes everything you do, think, imagine and dream, every decision, every story every pause, everything on every level. From time to time even though  this person is always with you and always observes both your inner and outer worlds, we forget their existence like when we are fast sleep, or comatose(LOL), are absorbed in a task such as reading a real good book, or painting  or drawing a picture or creating artwork or something that takes all our focus  , watching an all absorbing movie, or listening to a moving story or piece of music or speech. This mystery person always re-emerges the moment we begin to think our own thoughts once more or when we wake up from sleeping or the coma (again LOL!) when we come to ourselves again. This mystery being if you haven’t guessed yet is (drum roll please!) our very individually assigned the one the only “I” ,” the me”,  the”self”,  “the mind”, the”numero uno”.
Think about it , how seldom do we stop and reflect upon the existence this elusive “I” , “the me” . Who is this person? Where is this person going ? Undoubtedly this person is experiencing life, but what actually is life, this strange, weird, scary,frustrating, at times infuriating, magical, surprising, joyful, wondrous, invigorating, safe, simple, complicated, long, short, confusing, clear thing which expresses itself through us, and for most of  the time balances us very uneasily between joy, happiness, contentment, clarity and safe and sadness, angry, confusion, fearful. What is it for? Does it have a purpose and if it does what is it? Can we know it, understand it? Can we know our role in it? The more we think and ponder these questions, the more we become aware that to answer the first of them is to answer all the rest as well. Because to know who we are is also to know where we came from and where we are going, and to know what life is and what, if anything is it for , knowing who we are  we will know what our role is or how we fit into it. Each one of these questions boil down to the one eternal question that has been asked since humans began , “Who am I?”  This eternal question from which all other existential questions come from, and on which they depend on for their meaning and importance. Since the dawn of our existence we have pondered this basic question of “Who am I?” and all of its subsequent variations and periodically some strange individual  appears and seems to know the answer , their answer though is usually strange or sort of cryptic, extremely metaphor like , they answer symbolically, or puzzle, riddle or parable like. then they give us an enigmatic set of techniques or practices through which we can gain the answer and  then when we ask for clarification on what they say or what the techniques or practices are for with regards to answering “who am I?”  then they seem to always respond by  implying  or eluding to, with a very confident  clear and concise answer of , that we can find the clarity that we keep trying to glean from them or  that we try and outright demand or threaten them for (in some cases kill them to get) that we can find that clarification within our own self, that “the answers” are all within us. We are thus being told over and over from those strange individuals that have appeared from time to time, that the answer to the eternal question and their subsequent variations of “Who am I?” is not a  formula that can be just handed to us by somebody else but a direct personal experience. It is very individual in nature. When you come to think about it what else could the answer possibly be, since it is we ourselves who are what we are.
Having said this, we have established that we have a very good understanding, familiarity with the outer world, and a lot more reference materials and education on the outer world as opposed to knowing or understanding of the inner world of thoughts , dreams, imagination, memories, emotions and the “I”, the “me” the self, the mind we have reference materials most of them come from other individual “I’s” other individual self’s which again like the answers from those strange ones can be guide line like but is lacking their completeness for the individual minds they can give you generalities  which is helpful to answering the question but since the answer to the eternal question is completely individual the reference material or practices have to be a helpful starting point for the answer but to completely answer it those starting points have to be customized to the individual by the individual . Although you may think that the question will never come up for you but, I am here to tell you that on some level in one of its millions of variations you will at least ponder it at least once. Really you can trust me on that, really you can!
Now that I have rambled on you are probably asking yourself  “,what the heck is this all about? What is her point?”  Where is she going with?”, and I say to those questions ….They are extremely valid!   What my point is that if you should want to know the answer to the eternal question and all of it’s variations and any subsequent related inquires that you might have along with changing or healing any part of who you are right now or improve add to who you are, which you  would have to know who you are first in order to change heal improve add to who you are. The answer that is tried and true and proven and the only real way that any one has been able to find is MEDITATION! MEDITATION!MEDITATION!.  Don’t get upset I heard that heavy sigh loud woe so please Before you walk away give me a chance please to explain just a couple things that you maybe aren’t realizing about meditation that there are as many ways to meditate as there are answers to the eternal questions!!!!! Their are as many ways to meditate as their are and have been people!!!!! There many books pamphlets, articles web sites, etc etc. that show us meditation and the various modalities of meditation but like answers to THE QUESTION they will always have to be customized to you by you!!  Not only will you be able to get clarification and some answers there is so much more that it can accomplish. I like to say that there are a billion reasons to meditate and not a single reason not to !!! I didn’t say that you might just find what variation works for you that you are comfortable with that takes care of what you need and that there are never difficulties in trusting it . What I said is there is not a single reason not to. It is about desire and perseverance. Ask yourself would you like to experience life but never really know who  it was who experienced your Life? Think about it, like anythi ng it is a choice.  Go ahead weigh the pros and cons , what you stand to gain  having the opportunity of your lifetime to gain all the possibilities and abilities that YOU are as opposed to knowing a very small  and limited view of you and your possibilities and abilities available to you to not know who experienced your life, in my mind  really the effort is way worth it..
The following will be one way in the billion ways to meditate that you can do that I found and many, many others found worked very well and can be used to accomplish a lot  and to understand and clarify and heal and know you. Remember the option is always there to tweak and adjust, customize for you.
I have found that the use and various different ways that breath can be used with meditation is very significant and enhances the benefits of meditation and in many instances is quite helpful in accomplishing what your goal is , what you it is that this particular form of meditation that you chose you felt would be for you. Breath work is always  a good thing both mentally and physically. You can’t live without breathing!!!  For those of you who have meditated for a long time you know what parts of this you know well . But the rest of this meditation just please roll with me people !!! ;-) The following includes breath work along with meditation, don’t worry it is not complicated you can do it , you do it all the time !!! LOL! First find a place where you won’t be distracted or disturb ed by phones, T. V. kids, dogs etc. (note: after you get the hang of it and that is an individual thing, you will be able to meditate with a few of the distractions, just like anything the longer you do it the more it becomes part of you, automatic in a way)  Wear comfortable clothes nothing restrictive you don’t want to be distracted because you can’t breath or something is pinching etc., get comfortable either sitting with your feel flat on the floor or laying with your legs out in front and just left to fall to the sides just let them just naturally relax. Have your back  completely supported. If this position makes it difficult to stay awake try the sitting position. You want to relax not fall asleep, where you are going is somewhere in between. For my tech’s out there It is called Theta state that your brain enters into.  Once you are comfortable etc. I like to pick a general subject of something that you are wanting work on in yoursel f such as fear ,anger ,sadness, frustration , you get the idea. Then after you’ve picked this general subject and what the area it of you or your life  then find a saying,  a phrase. a word that is a opposite energy or vibration of your subject such as courage, safe or joy ,forgiveness, contentment, abundance, and keep that positive focus on that opposite vibration, you can repeat to yourself if you like but just take a moment and hold that within you and focus on a clear picture of how you would like it to be with regards to the issue hold the energy. Holding the opposite positive vibration to your issue it cancels it within your subconscious and rewrites old programming that is no longer working for you. It is not something that will happen the first time it will happen after a time, they say it approximately 21 days to change behaviors, note the word approximately it can happen sooner it can happen later , but it will work. It will depend a lot on you and findin g the niche that works for you. Most likely it took you a while to acquire the behavior or the programming has been running for awhile before it was recognized it wasn’t working. it may take a moment to change it.
Now that you have your positive mind set close your eyes place your hands on your lap either palms up or down or facing each other just as long they are comfortable and not tensing. Now I want you to find the center of your head, find the top of your ears and draw an imaginary line from both sides of your head from the top of your ears and where they meet at the top of your head is the center of your head straight down to the center inside your head. Tech note this is where your Pineal gland is in your brain, and this is where they believe your imagination, psychic abilities, metaphysical and religious experiences are enabled here on a physical plane your the  part of your body, brain the allows that ability flow thru and be experienced in this physical form. Once you have located that destination the breathing starts, take one deep breath thru your nose that starts in the lower part of your lungs your diaphragm and let the air com e in from the bottom of your lungs fill from there up  . Blow out thru your mouth opening your throat and your mouth as if  as if the large breath you just took of fresh air will go to every corner of you collect any stale or left over useless negativity and when you open up your mouth and throat and expel the breath it cleansing your inner life force, blow all of it out of you; once again using your diaphragm on the bottom to push it all out so that the next breath in will be unblocked by the sludge of the left over negativity, it is like cleaning and sterilizing that takes place between batches of beer in a brewery. The vats are cleared and clean so that when the next batch is put in it is not clogged or contaminated by the last process of fermentation. After that cleansing breath take another deep breath thru your nose but this time try and hold it in for 9-12 counts then blow out, do three of these breaths as you do them focus on relaxing your muscles in y our face , jaw , tongue ( let the tip of the tongue just touch the roof of your mouth) , neck , arms , shoulders, back, internal organs, buttock, thighs ,legs, feet, as you breath, and hold the breath and exhale feel all the tension and stress and worries etc just flow out of you like a plug being unplugged in the tub it just releases into the core of the earth to be recycled and transmuted to neutral energy to be used again and revitalize the universe and Mother Earth and creation, if you want you can get creative and imagine a drainpipe, or a chute that is attached to your first chakra and the pipe or whatever extends about 6 inches of out on both sides of your body and runs down to the core of earth which is a big molten ball  or pyramid whichever resonates for you ,of iron that uses and cleanses and transmutes the energy to neutral so that it can be used in a clean manner. It is not wasted or having a negative or  pervasive affect . It clear s the path and allows the positive energies to flow in and take your issue and change it unencumbered by obstruction. If you use this simple breath work as a sort of ritual every time you meditate it will become a trigger for your brain so that you are able to achieve that meditative state much easier, like Pavlov’s dogs, after a time even in a noisy room or distraction filled place you will be able to perhaps achieve that state of mind of meditation or at least give you the ability to bring those times where you are overwhelmed and your feelings are becoming overwhelming, your blood pressure rising, perhaps fear is coming in, frustration etc. this will trigger your body in such a way that you will have an easier time of keeping a handle on those feelings ,and it help  you  to feel and be in the drivers seat rather at the mercy of the overwhelming feelings the stress that may be coming up at the moment and it helps to release certain chemicals to help your bod y to cope with the stress much better so our discernment when comes to the choice of our reactions to the external stimulus, it helps us to cope and choose balance in the times we find our beings overwhelmed by life. Now that you’ve relaxed with the deep breathes ;the next breath just go back to your normal breathing in and out thru your nose, notice your breath how it feels as you draw it in , follow it down into your diaphragm imagine the breath as a golden cleansing revitalizing  and renewing healing light that as it flows in it spreads out throughout your whole body down your arms an legs fills your head, every cell infused and surrounded by this clean vibrant life force charging every fiber and cell. Feel the tingles flow in as you follow the breath of life to the various parts of your body allow your simple act of breathing to help you to remove and clear any stuck energies or negative influences problems, obstructions let it renew and reset your inner being the real you with the outer you the mechanism that holds us and allows us all a spiritual beings experiencing being human to balance ourselves between the left and the right sides of our brains so that we return to our default positions where we function at our optimum. We become grounded and balance so we can see clearly where the issues are and remove and replace that which is no longer working for us for the highest good. Now I want you to imagine either steps that either you walk from the front of your head where you have been doing your preparation for your journey and feel the feeling of moving up and back to the center of your head, some use a tunnel that goes there other steps, escalators myself I think of Willie Wonka and his wonkavator where it was an elevator that can travel up, down, sideways, long ways, back, forward as you move back notice where you feel that movement in your body like when going up in an elevator, even if you don’t know by seeing with your eye s you still know whether you are traveling up or down , for me I get the feeling in my chest in the center. Notice that feeling and it for me is an affirmation that my visualization is doing the trick , when you realize that you can “know” that you can move your being to different places internally it opens up many possibilities such as if I can do it within and the physical reality of your body structure does not prevent movement then logically neither could the outer layer that separates the  inner and outer worlds. (This is just something to ponder.). Now that you’ve arrived to the center of your head with your positive energy or affirmation it is time to decorate your safe place. Yes, safe place! This a place you can go to that you are always safe and protected, nothing or no one can get in unless you want it there unless you invite it or them. This is the home base of  the control room whatever you would like to call it, where the high self hangs, the “I” goes when it is in default optimum position. This space can look or be decorated any way you want, it can be a luxurious room full of pillows or it can be a hammock under the palm trees next to a water fall or it could be something out of a magical fantasy, it is your “I” place the place of safety and healing it is the place where you merge the inner with the outer, a place of wholeness a place where you become the best expression of the divine expressing it self, centered, grounded, knowing, balanced , a place that we can find or ask for the clarity and/ healing. From this perspective we can look down thru the chakra’s, the dimensions of the body and look where perhaps requires clearing of blockages or where negative energy has attached and needs to be removed, this the place to release the positive energy or affirmation that you focused on before we started our journey that you brought with you this the place that you can release that positive vibration the one that carries the opposite peaks and valleys in it’s vibration to the negative vibration that the issue that you want cancel out or rewrite the program that no longer is for your highest good or the highest good of others. Take that positive vibration release it to flow throughout you entire being after it flows out thru every cell in your body imagine it flowing out your hands and finger tips and out the top of your head like a water fountain and wash over your body and aura and as it does see it clear all the sludge in and thru your aura and outer body as well as inner , see it repair and fortify any holes or dark murky spots in your aura and inner being, (note*if it helps for visualization purposes put a color or “look” to this positive energy that you have released such as I like to see it a clear bright sparkling fluid that have a gold and silver sparkles shimmering thru it sometimes I change the color of the sparkles , I use my intuition or feeling to determine its color or look, find what resonates with you at the moment, there is right or wrong to how it looks it is up to your own imagination, whatever you feel you want it to look like it is yours so it will do it this is your place .) For those of you that have been practicing meditation , this particular type of meditation even though it seems very simplistic or basic , it is but it is very powerful and there are many ways this can be used from this perspective there are many higher levels of meditation that can enhanced from this perspective. It is a good and easy way to approach meditation it allows us to be creative and gives us the choice to be active or passive. The universe does work very well with simplicity and visualization . We are bombarded with so many complicated and intense practices and situations in every day life that this very simple meditation practice helps us to release the misconception that it is difficult to connect with ourselves like only the elite with years of practice and devotion can or are deserving of the tools that we were created with. Understand this we don’t need to earn anything to use what is already ours, Remember “ask and you shall receive” , Keep it simple ; don’t get me wrong all those ancient practices are wonderful but this is not only very effective it’s fun and most people do not have the resources or the time to go through years of study. Most people that really could use meditative practices the most that need to be able to become whole are people that are not able to process or learn the more complicated forms those who simply do not have the time to do the more intricate practices or techniques. Surprisingly enough I have been keeping track of the success of this form as opposed to the more complicated forms and this way really holds it’s own it is as effective besides that it gives you the basic tools to allow those who perhaps the more intricate techniques or practices are too much or see m to be overwhelming and perhaps may make someone feel turned off from meditation because its seems to complicated for them, this particular type is something that they can feel comfortable with due to simplistic structure. Remember there much beauty and strength to simplicity. Less obstructions easier to access less chance for us to get in our own way. Even after all these years of practicing meditation and its many forms many modalities I still find this simplistic elegant creative straight up form quite useful and effective and I use it quite often. There are many options that you can use to build upon this type to add to it , direct it to for more specific goals, more room to customize to make it individualized.
Now back to the process, after release of the positive energy sit for awhile in your space and play with it if you like change it around, redecorate if you want. Sometimes you may want to get in there and clean it out it is up to you , listen to yourself your gut only you can decide what you need or want. When you are ready beginning to come back slowly by moving your fingers hands and feet and move up then slowly open your eyes and come back to the here and now, shake your arms get the blood going . Thank the higher powers or the universe and take a deep breath like you did with the beginning with the cleansing breath, then call all the energy back that you left past present and future see it as filling up a bucket full and when it is full pull the cord and feel it dump into the top of your head and flow down to your toes and down to the tips of your finghers and feel it fill you up and recharge, it is like filling your gas tank so that you are good to go , You’ve just had a tune up an oil change and now a full tank you are ready for life!! I hope that this has touched and given encouragement to at  least one person to begin to meditate to make this something that you do regularly like brushing your teeth, washing etc. because it is as important to our well being as taking care of our bodies, Thank you for listening, Love and Light to you all,xox Lianna

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Greetings and Salutations One and All! Today I would like to discuss mindfullness. “What is that?” I’m sure you are asking yourself. Well in my definition, it is being absolutely present within the moment. Most people might think that they are truly in the moment most of the time, but if you really pay attention a lot of the time we are not in the present moment. We are in the future, past, lost in thought. Most of us check in and out of the present most of the time.

Spirit has really been on me about this particular issue of late, and I am sure that I am not alone.  What it means to not just know it but to own it and walk it and intergrate it into your everyday life. I was recently faced with a situation as most of you know, where in I had to come to a place of radical acceptance of another person’s decision. A betrayal, and several losses within a very short period of time. I shared with all of you some of the processes that I used during this time period. One of the things that I have found is that it is not so easy to stay in the present when chaos is surrounding every aspect of your life.

So I am coming to you now, having been exposed to some great new information from Sue Piver, who wrote the book, “The Wisdom of a Broken Heart” and Dee Wallace, who wrote the book, ” Conscious Creation” and from several other great books that are out there right now on the topic of changing our thinking. For what we focus on we bring to ourselves and we are creators that have the ability to change what our reality looks like. How we see things and perceive things has everything to do with that. These two dynamic ladies have come up with some fantastic hands on ideas on how to overcome the challenging emotional states we all get to at some point in our lives.  I have been using their techniques within my own personal life and I will tell you I have been astonished at how well it has worked for me.

I have invited them both to be guests on the show, and hopefully they will graciously accept. I can only tell you that it would be a complete blessing to all of you if they did. Truly amazing beings! Amazing books! Amazing results!

I have recently been attending DBT technique training and it is so interesting that some of the very techniques they are teaching for psychology now have their same roots as these two books. Funny how the universe works, especially when a message is loud and clear. The techniques help you to cope with strong emotions and emotional responses. It helps to reprogram the old programming from your earlier years and all up to now. You become self empowered to see how these very simple and quick techniques can change your entire perspective about life and the people in it when you begin to do the homework!

I challenge you all to the next time you feel in a moment of emotional overload, find simply 20 things in the room around you. Take notice of them and what about them caught your awareness. What you are doing by doing this is taking yourself out of emotion and into your mental bodies. If you begin to note where in your body your are feeling the discomfort and address the fears at the core of the emotion you can allow these emotions to pass through you without stuffing them.

The idea is to become aware of wha tis actually happening around you when you get to these crisis moments in life. Stop and notice what is around you, what is going on. Most times there is nothing going on. Whether you are in your car or a room, there is not usually alot going on when we are having these momentary melt downs. You begin to become aware of right now. Usually the emotion is coming from a past memory or a thought of what could be but it is not right now. This moment. As you begin to do this, catch yourself when you are on the phone or talking to your kids, see how much time you are really being present in this moment, versus, being in thoughts like, “I have this, this and this to do ….” or “If only I could get this going I could>…..” these types of statements in your thoughts are not what is right now. The power is in the moment of right now. You can create and choose in this moment only. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come. Right now is where you are and where it’s at! You will find that if you stay in the now moment you are less likely to experience waves of emotions that are not real but more illusion.

Look at the fear that is causing the emotional outburst. I am afraid to be alone, I am afraid to die alone, I am afraid I will never find love again, I am not worthy, I am not deserving, I am not pretty enough or smart enough, whatever tape is playing in your head at the base of that fear reaction, then counter that thought with I am never alone, I will not die alone, I will find love again, I am worthy of all good things, I am deserving of love and happiness, I am beautiful and I love myself, I am smart and funny, I am love and I only accept that which is healthy and for my highest good in my life, life flows to me with ease and grace, my lessons come with ease and grace, i am creation, these types of statements can replace the old tapes. These affirmations help shift what is causing the pain. Our stinking thinking about stuff. This is not to say life is always wonderful, this is to say these are some ways on how to pick up the pieces when there’s a million of them to pick up. The nice thing about that is you can paint your own picture how you want the pieces to fit! It’s your paint and your canvas how do you want your picture to look, make it so. We cannot control others or what they do or say or think, if we are trying then we need to look at our own need to control and work with it.

Try this mindfullness awareness exercise for a week. Let us know what results you found out about yourself!

Love and light everyone!

Kimberly

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Greetings and Salutations One and All! I do hope the weekend has been a beautiful one for all of you thus far. As for me, things here in Boulder, CO have been quite pleasant.  I was able to get some house cleaning or Spring Cleaning done to help usher in the new energies as we enter into a wave of love. We have another 3.3.3 gate which opens today and another yet coming up as well and Mars is going direct on the 22nd and so we should see some very positive and creative energy coming in a huge wave over the next couple of weeks. Yay! I love the springtime! I hope you did something wonderful to celebrate!~I myself purchased some tulips as an offering of Spring to Mother and celebrated with a feast and lots of thanks for all the love and harmony that is in my life!

This weeks show should be interesting! Lianna, Petite Lion, my lovely co hostess will be asking me questions she’s always wanted to know about me and I will be asking her questions regarding some of her experiences on her journey! We both have some very interesting experiences to share with all of you and we are looking forward to this show and will be doing mini readings as part of the call ins this week. So you will for sure want to tune in this week to blogtalkradio.com/illuminationsoflight! We will discuss things like crowning and earth shifts and much much more! Don’t miss out!

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We have recorded most of this blog to audio, we did not include all the videos on the recording but a few snippets to get the idea of what was shared. Thanks! Now onto the blog!

Greetings and salutations! I do hope the day is a beautiful one for you!  We have been working very hard on adding new features to the blog as well as the sites for Illuminations of Light. Preparing for our guests up and coming on the radio show.  I am pleased to announce that we will be having Ronna Herman as our first guest, we also have Michael Jaco, ex USNavy SEAL who has written a magnificent book called “The Intuitive Warrior” which I have to tell you guys is a fantastic book for everyone especially the young men in your life! My fifteen year old couldn’t put it down! That show will air 3/9/10-9pm mst. Then of course the Sedona Lights crew joins us 2/23/10! So lots of great guests, we are so blessed and honored to have them joining us! Be sure to tune in for the show!

Ok so enough of the radio stuff and onto today’s subject.  This is a difficult topic to discuss for most people because trust like love can be an illusive emotion. Not sure how to describe it. Why do we require it? What does it mean to you? How do we trust when no one has ever given us something to trust about? These are questions I hear a lot from clients and myself in my own evaluation of what trust is.

Well I cannot say that I am an expert, but I can share with you what the experts say… and give you my opinions about this topic based on what my feelings are.

This is a fairly good article on the topic of rebuilding trust after betrayal

I have had some difficulty in writing this particular entry of the blogs, because on a personal level, the breech of trust has been a prevalent message for me on a personal level.  In the course of this year, I have experienced in people that are close to me, turning on me and betraying me on many levels. So in the course of doing research, a lot of my own stuff came up.  When I evaluated it, did my list, I recognized that I was continuing to have the expectation that people would do what they said, behave a certain way, keep their promises, honor my belongings in my home and vehicle, to honor my wishes, my physical body, to do a job well done for monies earned, be my friend and not my enemy. That is a lot of expectations to have out there in the thinking processes. Then came the word FAITH. To have faith that everything will be handled and fixed. If I believe it will. But you know in the throws of my panic, and I definitely was panicked! I found it very difficult to focus on anything else except how in the world was I going to do all I needed to do and make things come together. This led to looking at my need to control. I had to tell myself, I had no control over any of the things which were taking place around me. And mad about it! Then I had to come to a place of acceptance with that idea, not easily, my inner child was fighting this big time! So once I evaluated what I did and did not have control over, I was able to breath again.  I was able to put things out of the emotional state back into a spiritual state with some deep breathing, talking to a friend, food, crying to release the built up frustrations, rest and then processing.  In the end, it was a computer error, all was fine and I was not as bad off as I originally thought. But I will tell you the drama that set off in my mind was pretty amazing even to me! I was going there! After so much loss this past several years, after all the fighting I did last month to make the radio show and such come together financially, the friends I have had to say goodbye to for good, trust and trusting the universe was not in my mindset. I had to consciously pull it back to get to that point of balance again.

So what is trust?

Trust is a comfort zone within our being that allows us to fully relax and be ourselves. To know that our confidences will be kept and our beings honored and respected. By my definition anyways.

On a metaphysical level however, it is holding onto expectations. If we are having expectations and or judgment about a thing then we are not coming from a place of unconditional love. Because unconditional love has no room for either by definition. Things just ARE. People are where they are in their path and lessons, and sometimes they can act out of character due to outside circumstances, or imbalances which are not within our ability to control. Circumstances can look one way and turn out a totally different way then we thought. If we allow our past experiences to rule our reactions, we are not coming from that place of peace or love.

Forgiveness:

When we agree to forgive a broken trust or betrayal it doesn’t mean that we forget. But it is in the not forgetting that we remember our lessons with regard to that incident.  It’s in the remembering that we recognize certain signs right? Many people would agree with that statement, but the reality is if we are staying truly in the moment, in the right now, then we are not experiencing the exact same thing in the exact same way, we are in a different place because we are different and have hopefully grown from that past experience. If we have not let go then there will be reactions, expectations and lots of self sabotage.  Of course I am not referring to life threatening circumstances, I would not recommend that you stay with a person who continues to be abusive, but you can in the recovery come to a place of tolerance and forgiveness of that person.  If we know a person is a chronic liar, white lies, half truths, omissions of facts to the whole story, or just bold face lies to our face. The person is more then likely coming from a place of fear that they would feel the need to lie.  So try to see things from their eyes. Why are they doing what it is they are doing? Are they ill? Are they afraid? Are they within their rational thinking zone? If not then know that they will have to deal with the consequences of their own actions. They will be repaid by the law of cause and effect. Look at them with pity not anger and loathing and disgust, with compassion for the pain they must be under. This is coming from the place of uncondtional love. Remember, ” Let he who has not sinned cast the first stone.” None of us are perfect. We all make mistakes. Sometimes those mistakes are repeated because the person does not see themselves as doing that, i.e. compulsive liars, sociopaths, co dependents, addicts, or just people who are in denial or believe their own lies they have been telling them so long. In the instance of adultery, this is something that can definitely be worked around and through if you love your partner enough to put the effort and the work involved to make it work.  Often times cheating is a symptom of much deeper rooted issues within a persona or a relationship. It’s the core reasons WHY someone looks outside of a relationship which are the real culprits of the break down. Communications are essential, being honest with one’s self and then their partner is also essential.

Honesty. To be able to at the very least, be honest with yourself. When you are cheating and lying to your family, you are a liar. That’s not calling names, it’s stating a fact. You are lying to yourself to think otherwise.  If you are not following through with your word, you are lying. If you are not keeping promises or going back on them, you are lying.  If you are flaking on appointments and making excuses that’s still a form of lying and if you are telling a half truth, or half information, that too is a lie.

Webster’s defines these terms as such:

Lie-

intransitive verb 1 : to make an untrue statement with intent to deceive
2 : to create a false or misleading impression

transitive verb : to bring about by telling lies <lied his way out of trouble>

synonyms lie, prevaricate, equivocate, palter, fib mean to tell an untruth. lie is the blunt term, imputing dishonesty <lied about where he had been>. prevaricate softens the bluntness of lie by implying quibbling or confusing the issue <during the hearings the witness did his best to prevaricate>. equivocate implies using words having more than one sense so as to seem to say one thing but intend another <equivocated endlessly in an attempt to mislead her inquisitors>. palter implies making unreliable statements of fact or intention or insincere promises <a swindler paltering with his investors>. fib applies to a telling of a trivial untruth <fibbed about the price of the new suit>.
Liar-
Main Entry: li·ar
Pronunciation: \ˈlī(-ə)r\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English lēogere, from lēogan to lie — more at lie
Date: before 12th century

: a person who tells lies

Honesty-

Main Entry: hon·es·ty
Pronunciation: \ˈä-nəs-tē\
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural hon·es·ties
Date: 14th century

1 obsolete : chastity
2 a : fairness and straightforwardness of conduct b : adherence to the facts : sincerity
3 : any of a genus (Lunaria) of European herbs of the mustard family with toothed leaves and flat disk-shaped siliques

synonyms honesty, honor, integrity, probity mean uprightness of character or action. honesty implies a refusal to lie, steal, or deceive in any way. honor suggests an active or anxious regard for the standards of one’s profession, calling, or position. integrity implies trustworthiness and incorruptibility to a degree that one is incapable of being false to a trust, responsibility, or pledge. probity implies tried and proven honesty or integrity.
Trust:
Main Entry: 1trust
Pronunciation: \ˈtrəst\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, probably of Scandinavian origin; akin to Old Norse traust trust; akin to Old English trēowe faithful — more at true
Date: 13th century

1 a : assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something b : one in which confidence is placed
2 a : dependence on something future or contingent : hope b : reliance on future payment for property (as merchandise) delivered : credit <bought furniture on trust>
3 a : a property interest held by one person for the benefit of another b : a combination of firms or corporations formed by a legal agreement; especially : one that reduces or threatens to reduce competition
4 archaic : trustworthiness
5 a (1) : a charge or duty imposed in faith or confidence or as a condition of some relationship (2) : something committed or entrusted to one to be used or cared for in the interest of another b : responsible charge or office c : care, custody <the child committed to her trust>

in trust : in the care or possession of a trustee

Betray-

Main Entry: be·tray
Pronunciation: \bi-ˈtrā, bē-\
Function: verb
Etymology: Middle English, from be- + trayen to betray, from Anglo-French trahir, from Latin tradere — more at traitor
Date: 13th century

transitive verb 1 : to lead astray; especially : seduce
2 : to deliver to an enemy by treachery
3 : to fail or desert especially in time of need <betrayed his family>
4 a : to reveal unintentionally <betray one’s true feelings> b : show, indicate c : to disclose in violation of confidence <betray a secret>intransitive verb : to prove false

synonyms see reveal

be·tray·al \-ˈtrā(-ə)l\ noun

be·tray·er \-ˈtrā-ər\ noun

FORGIVE:

Main Entry: for·give
Pronunciation: \fər-ˈgiv, fȯr-\
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): for·gave \-ˈgāv\; for·giv·en \-ˈgi-vən\; for·giv·ing
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English forgifan, from for- + gifan to give
Date: before 12th century

transitive verb 1 a : to give up resentment of or claim to requital for <forgive an insult> b : to grant relief from payment of <forgive a debt>
2 : to cease to feel resentment against (an offender) : pardon <forgive one’s enemies>intransitive verb : to grant forgiveness

EXPECTATION:

Main Entry: ex·pec·ta·tion
Pronunciation: \ˌek-ˌspek-ˈtā-shən, ik-\
Function: noun
Date: 1540

1 : the act or state of expecting : anticipation <in expectation of what would happen>
2 a : something expected <not up to expectations> <expectations for an economic recovery> b : basis for expecting : assurance <they have every expectation of success> c : prospects of inheritance —usually used in plural
3 : the state of being expected
4 a : expectancy 2b b : expected value

ex·pec·ta·tion·al \-ˈtā-shə-nəl, -shnəl\ adjective

JUDGMENT:

Main Entry: judg·ment
Variant(s): or judge·ment \ˈjəj-mənt\
Function: noun
Date: 13th century

1 a : a formal utterance of an authoritative opinion b : an opinion so pronounced
2 a : a formal decision given by a court b (1) : an obligation (as a debt) created by the decree of a court (2) : a certificate evidencing such a decree
3 a capitalized : the final judging of humankind by God b : a divine sentence or decision; specifically : a calamity held to be sent by God
4 a : the process of forming an opinion or evaluation by discerning and comparing b : an opinion or estimate so formed
5 a : the capacity for judging : discernment b : the exercise of this capacity
6 : a proposition stating something believed or asserted

synonyms see sense
BALANCE-
9 : mental and emotional steadiness
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE:
to love unconditionally, no expectation, no judgment or opinion, to allow people and things to just BE as they are right now.
If we are communicating well and effectively, if we are coming from a place of forgiveness and unconditional love, if we are allowing the other person to be themselves in a non controlling fashion, if we are being courteous and kind and understanding and compassionate to those around us, trust comes naturally. When we lack trust, we are coming from a place of lack, of fear, of non belief and non faith. This does nothing for the other party or the situation, only serves to make us upset and angry. We have to release the expectations that people behave a certain way or we are trying to exert control over something we have no control over. Thus our feelings of betrayal. We are truly responsible for how WE feel. No one else. Trust in yourself. Trust in the universe that all things are perfect at all times. Trust in the ebbs and flows of life. Give thanks even in the moments of greatest frustration and despair.
FAITH- Find Answers In The Heart!  If you are truly a spiritual person, then KNOW that things will work out for your highest good and the good of all concerned. KNOW that you are not alone EVER! When we say a prayer, say it like this…”Thank you for <insert the thing you are asking for>” and KNOW that it’s been heard and will be answered one way or the other. Then LEAVE IT THERE! If you begin to worry, or fret or discuss it you take it back from the universe! Let go and let god! Means leave it there, and know in your heart that it will be handled! If you can do this, if you consciously make that choice in the middle of the worry, you will see that things clear up much more quickly, answers are revealed, solutions brought to the light, opportunities open up again. We are truly our own worst enemies. We muck things up all the time. People are human. Humans learn from experiences good and bad. Sometimes, it takes a lifetime of experience to get it, sometimes several, but it is neither right or wrong. For there is no right or wrong. There is what works and what doesn’t work for us. Cause and effect. But there is no right and wrong. Just what is.
So if you are struggling with the issues of trust. Whether to trust or not. How to feel that peace and flow where trust and safety just are there. Begin with YOU. Look at those things which you do not really wish to admit to yourself. Healer, heal thyself. Begin with being honest with yourself brutally honest. See if this doesn’t change your attitude and your life just a little bit. It is something which is earned, how we treat each other makes a big difference. Consistency and repeated behaviors instill security and that safety feeling. Keeping confidences. Keeping your word. Things that we all would like to have. So put that out. Be an honest person to the best of your ability. Be a forgiving and caring person, you would want that if the shoe were on the other foot. Do not be extreme, use good common sense. If someone is hurting you, do what you can to stop them from doing it again. Do not put yourself into circumstances which will encourage the behavior. If someone steals from you, do not leave valuable things alone with them. If someone constantly lies to you, take it with a grain of salt and verify it. Do not accuse just because they have done it before, doesn’t always mean they will do it again, so ASK for clarification when words and actions do not line up. If they still lie then walk away, do not engage. Feel sorry for them and walk away knowing you know what the truth is. For they may see their version of the truth and they are entitled to it even if you disagree. If someone has left you for another, then they are not meant to be with you, it’s their choice too. If they have been unfaithful and broken an agreement, look at the reasons why and assess the core issues. It may or may not work out, you may find the other issues are not ones that can be worked out, then again you may find they can be and it will bring you together even stronger then before. No the love and the feelings can never be the same, but we can choose which way they go. We choose, we decide. We also when dealing with others have to honor their freedom of choice too. That’s a tough one to swallow for most. Why we love them and they will not love us back. What did we do ?? Sometimes, most times, it’s not about YOU. It’s about them and their own issues or insecurities or fears. Sometimes its just time to move on, people are in our lives a day, a season or a lifetime. Not all things are meant to last forever, just for their time. Acceptance is difficult. WE want to control outcomes, we want to control other’s behaviors. Reality, looking at things as they are , not as they could be or should be or were.  I’m sure there are many out there who would disagree with this assessment of trust and the solutions it provides and that’s fine. These are my perspectives, how I get through, how I can forgive even the most dreadful behaviors. Perhaps some of this will  help you or someone you know when you are faced with betrayal of any kind. The disappointment which stems from expectations not met. That’s on us. Not the other person. They have to live with their actions and words and choices. Just as we all do. But we can overcome the lack of trust in others and ourselves. It takes work and real honesty within ourselves.
I think that’s enough for today. Blessed be, one and ALL.
with love n light in my heart,
Kimberly
Here’s some other experts and what they have to say on this topic.

Patty German-Individual Therapy: Learning to Trust Again

Burt Harding on Trust
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Burt Harding on What to do when caught in emotional suffering….What’s Next?
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Burt Harding on Loving Acceptance Brings Total Change…
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Learning to trust again …. Why should we?
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Part II of Learning to Trust Again….
There are 15 entries to this last video series, you can access them on the right side of youtubes other videos.
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Learning to trust others the right way….
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Be an encourager
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How to get your partner to trust you again….

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Greetings and salutations! One and All! Happy Monday to you! Today I want to jump right into our topic.  Grief and the grieving process….it’s one of those very personal subjects that not too many people want to talk about, let alone, talk about publicly.  I sit here today at my computer pondering this issue of grief. So many people suffer, so many people hurt and crying out from their most core being for the pain to go away.  I had someone recently in one of the chat rooms I was in, tell me he buried 9 children that day.  He was in Chernoble working with the people who have been left to suffer the results of one of man’s many inhumanity to man events. He asked me accusingly, “Do YOU pray for the children here! You AMERICAN! You do not remember us here, you will not donate your time or money to help us!”  I replied back to him, “Yes I do pray for you there and in any place where the people suffer daily. Where life is not valued as much as war toys or greed. I pray for those in Thailand, in Africa, in Kenya and India, I cry for all those who cry and suffer. For the mother’s of the sons lost in wars that were not theirs, children whose parents are not there for them, for the homeless in the streets of the world who do not know where they will lay their heads or get their next meals, who dig in trash just to survive!…. Do YOU sir pray and help them too?!”  He was quiet after that. Asked me to burn a yellow candle in their honor. Which I did.

There are many types of death in this life.  All just as real, just as painful to the people who experience it as the real thing.  I have a different perspective on death. I see death as graduation day.  We die to resurrect and become something great once again. I do not see death as a sorrowful thing any longer. I rejoice and laugh and remember the good times not the bad ones or the regrets of things not done or said. I thank them for giving me all that they shared in our walk and time together.

I have often to said to those close to me, “Stay in the moment of now, it is a gift, this is why they call it the present, and we may not get a tomorrow.”  So often times we get lost in the chaos of life that we forget to tell those who are near and dear to us how much we care and appreciate them. The small things they do that go un-noticed.  The little things that make that person dear to us, we take for granted all too often.  Time is a precious thing, and this is the only place in existence that has it. Yes it is an illusion, but it is too as real as we make it to be. As with all things in duality, we can make things work to our advantage or disadvantage simply by how we act and think. Attitude of gratitude is latitude.

As the good book says, ” … as I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…” The man says WALK THROUGH IT!  not sit and wallow in it and lay down and let it consume you for the next however many years! Didn’t say stop and have a picnic and stay awhile! YES! life is hard at times, YES! it is not always about fair. BUT, it is ALWAYS an adventure! It is ALWAYS beautiful. Even in the darkest of moments, there is a shimmer of light which guides us back to center. It is in these moments when we feel like we are at the bottom of a hole or looking into the endless abyss of a wishing well, it is in these moments where our true character lies. What we are truly made of. The type of person we really are.  How boring life would be if we did not have each other to share in the moments of great joy and great sorrow. How blessed are we to have the chance to love and be without all that we need! For if we had EVERYTHING all the time and it was perfect, we would never grow. We would never experience ourselves and life and FEEL it. It would be boring if we were all the same. That being said, as different as we all are, we all have our own beliefs and ideas about death and the life after death.  No matter what your path or belief is, the processes of grieving are a necessary learning experience here on the planet Earth.

Grief, whether it is over a lost relationship, a job, the passing of a friend or family member and this includes pets. Sometimes, it can be the loss of innocence or the loss of a belief or a part of ourselves which is no longer working for us so we are stripped of all that is around us. And of course it is never just one thing, it is usually several major things all at the same time, from all directions when these losses occur. The least convenient moments the least perfect timing or so it may seem in the moment. The truth is all is perfect in all ways all the time. There are no accidents or coincidences all is in perfect harmony even through the discord. As my friend always says to me, “There are many ways to die”.  This is so true! We can shut down, shut ourselves off from those we love most, including Creator. That is one way to die. To have an old belief system or view of ourselves that can die too and be just as difficult.  The loss of a pet who has walked with you a long while in your journey, this too can feel like the world should stop revolving because such a beautiful being was removed from your life! In the very earliest moments, we suffer a period of shock. In this shock, we can be in denial as well, un accepting of the situation at hand. Completely stunned by events or words/actions of other people. We then move into a period of total sorrow, sorrow for the loss, regret for getting involved with that person or regret of things that were not said or done in a timely manner.  Then into a period of anger and victimhood, we play the blame game, the self righteous anger that drives men to war.  Then we go through guilt, guilt that we do not miss them enough, guilt at our parts in their lives.  Then we go through a numb period when we feel nothing at all, and cannot eat or sleep for if we even breath we might break. Then we come to acceptance, when we can finally begin to wrap our brain around it and know that it will not change or come back to the same point where it broke. Then we come to a place of forgiveness for them , the universe and ourselves. Then we begin to heal ourselves. Picking up the remains of what used to be our hearts, our lives, our beliefs, ourselves… and we rebuild it into a better thing ideally.  The Phoenix that rises from the ashes and we re invent ourselves, we are reborn again, a new person, a fresh perspective, a new clarity and understanding about what we just experienced.

In the moments of anger and despair, it is difficult to think of the good things in life. But in fact it is in these very moments when we should most give thanks. It helps to put into perspective the waves of deep sorrow which roll through our being as “this too shall pass” rather then I do not want to be here anymore if this is what it is about. We have all entertained those thoughts. We in some cases have lived through another who could not hold on another moment.  They stopped believing in themselves and loving themselves enough to take the escape clause. A parent who loses a child.  And you cannot say there is no greater pain, because the moment you do there will be something to prove you wrong.  Everyone’s personal pain is the worst to them. We cannot say how long it should take to go through the processes we do to resolve it within our own beings. Everyone is different. Some need time alone, to hide in their cave until the pain stops being unbearable, others need to be busy and social to help them move through the being alone parts. They do not focus on it but process it by doing this. Yet others see it as I do a time to celebrate and honor the person’s life and accomplishments. To honor how they touched people’s lives in a positive way. If their life was not something to write about then pray that they heal and come again in a better light and understanding for the next adventure story they create for themselves. The movie ” What Dreams May Come” with Robin Williams, is a great movie to tackle this idea of the after life. Really our pain and suffering is a result of fear. Fear of death , our own mortality, fear of being alone, fear of failure, fear of success, whatever type you claim it as , it is all still fear. LOVE, love never dies. It is there always within our beings and hearts, we are love! And if we are truly coming from a place of love for that other being, then we honor it’s contribution to the circle of life. Love is all that is real. It is all there is. It is all that we take with us because it is us when we ditch these physical bodies.

You ask anyone who has had a near death experience, they will tell you, it is peace and it is love. I have been there. I cannot wait to get back to that. I know I will find my way HOME, where my heart is because I am already there. I do not expect everyone to get that, but a few of you will. I truly believe that it is a better place, and I KNOW that there is no sorrow there, no pain, no discord, nothing of the sort. Not even really memories, only the LOVE. So all the petty stuff, the he said , she said, or who is right or wrong, that is just a waste of energy. How can I make this person’s life better, how can I make a difference, how can I honor that life and give back the love they gave me or the help in my life. Pay it forward as they say. When life gives ya lemons, by golly make you some lemonade! Turn it around! Make it something great, something sweet and more palatable,  something to celebrate. Yes we will miss them but we know there truly is no loss. They are with us in death more then life in most cases. To the point of annoying for some! Ha! This is not to put down or belittle someones personal grief or their process. Some people prefer to laugh rather then cry. I prefer to celebrate life rather then mourn it. I still process, but in a more positive way then I used to.

This article is not about how to fix you. Only you can do that for yourself. I can tell you for myself, keeping busy and making the best out of bad situations is how I have managed to stay sane through some of the most insane moments a person would ever want to endure. People ask me, how do you keep a smile on your face with all that has happened.  I just look at things from Creator’s eyes. I keep in mind the object of this life, and the reasons we are here, why certain beings come into our lives and I thank them for playing that role in my life, good or bad. For in reality they are me too, there is no good or bad, right or wrong on the other side. Only that which IS. Love.

Give yourself permission, to process and take the time you need whatever amount that is.  Try to do things to love yourself and remember the blessings you have in your life, really count them in the throws of despair. It helps. Take the baby steps to pick up the pieces again. Rebuild your life, YOU. The beauty of being a co creator is we can do this.

I’m sure there are a million articles out there on the net about this topic, the how to make it all better type of advice, but really, there is no way to make it better, only to walk through the process one step at a time in your way in your time. I can tell you, I pray for you! All of you! Every being great or small upon this planet and beyond. For the planet herself, for she too is dying a slow and torturous death, but she too will be reborn. As I have said many times before, we are the ocean, we are the waves. Individual we peak and crest and break and return back to being the ocean, to be recreated as another wave in another time and place, but we are still the healing waters, the liquid crystal that gives forth life and takes it back again. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Remember to celebrate each moment, make it memorable make it full of love even in the heated moments. We do not always have to like what we get, but we can definitely compromise and come to a place of peace with it. It’s all in your choice. How do you choose to see it? As you change your thinking, you change your mind, you change your life.

I will revisit this topic more later on… for now this is all …. peace and blessings, big hugs to all those who read this, who are in that moment of darkness and despair and fear, you are never alone. Never. Even though it feels like it at times. Do not give up. Nothing is stagnant, all things change, including our moods. So hold on for just awhile longer. Look for the good in it. Try to see the bigger picture from a selfless place. If you can do this , then you are well on your way to walking through to greener pastures and cool waters. Let your mind and heart be at peace in that place of greeness and peace.

Love n Light,

Kimberly

Dedicated to Zena, may you rest in peace girl! Thank you for bringing so much love to this place! Hugs JJ. I love ya!

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Greetings and salutations! One and All! Hard to believe this month is ending already. We here at Illuminations of Light have been very busy working on the technical ends of the show for February 16th!  This is why I have been quiet on the blog. We did do the show on OUR WORLDS and the main web site http://www.illuminationsoflight.com has the replay of the show available. We had a great time doing the show and we learned a lot! So I am getting excited as we have more guests contacting us and agreeing to do the shows. This whole journey has been quite a ride and I am loving each and every moment of it! I am so grateful and humbled for all the support from friends and loved ones thank you so much for all your help in the backround helping to make the show great! SZ and Mtn-Hawk and Miss xpression of light, they all have worked hard preparing for this great day!

I was pretty happy to be able to say hello to my granddaughter! What a joy she is! I tell you that girl is special! But then again so is her momma! They grow up so quickly! It truly is amazing.

So today I wanted to talk about STRESS.  A condition which affects almost every person on this planet just about. Stress is the number one generator of dis-ease within the body and affects every aspect of our lives when we are not able to get it under control.

According to Medicine Net.com, “What is stress?

Stress is simply a fact of nature — forces from the outside world affecting the individual. The individual responds to stress in ways that affect the individual as well as their environment. Hence, all living creatures are in a constant interchange with their surroundings (the ecosystem), both physically and behaviorally. This interplay of forces, or energy, is of course present in the relationships between all matter in the universe, whether it is living (animate) or not living (inanimate). However, there are critical differences in how different living creatures relate to their environment. These differences have far-reaching consequences for survival. Because of the overabundance of stress in our modern lives, we usually think of stress as a negative experience, but from a biological point of view, stress can be a neutral, negative, or positive experience.

In general, stress is related to both external and internal factors. External factors include the physical environment, including your job, your relationships with others, your home, and all the situations, challenges, difficulties, and expectations you’re confronted with on a daily basis. Internal factors determine your body’s ability to respond to, and deal with, the external stress-inducing factors. Internal factors which influence your ability to handle stress include your nutritional status, overall health and fitness levels, emotional well-being, and the amount of sleep and rest you get.”

They go onto say…..

What are the signs and symptoms of poorly managed stress?

Excess stress can manifest itself in a variety of emotional, behavioral, and even physical symptoms, and the symptoms of stress vary enormously among different individuals. Common somatic (physical) symptoms often reported by those experiencing excess stress include sleep disturbances, muscle tension, headache, gastrointestinal disturbances, and fatigue. Emotional and behavioral symptoms that can accompany excess stress include nervousness, anxiety, changes in eating habits including overeating, loss of enthusiasm or energy, and mood changes. Of course, none of these signs or symptoms means for certain that there is an elevated stress level since all of these symptoms can be caused by other medical and/or psychological conditions.

It is also known that people under stress have a greater tendency to engage in unhealthy behaviors, such as excessive use or abuse of alcohol and drugs, cigarette smoking, and making poor nutritional choices, than their less-stressed counterparts. These unhealthy behaviors can further increase the severity of symptoms related to stress, often leading to a “vicious cycle” of symptoms and unhealthy behaviors.

The experience of stress is highly individualized. What constitutes overwhelming stress for one person may not be perceived as stress by another. Likewise, the symptoms and signs of poorly managed stress will be different for each person.”

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How does the response to stress work?

While the complete story is not fully known, scientists understand much about how the response to stress works. The two main systems involved are the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis and the SNS. (These systems are described later.) Triggered (activated) primarily by an area in the brain stem (lowest part of brain) called the locus coeruleus, the SNS secretes epinephrine and norepinephrine. The five most important concepts to remember about these two systems are that

    1. Watch for the next instance in which you find yourself becoming annoyed or angry at something trivial or unimportant. Then practice letting go, making a conscious choice not to become angry or upset. Do not allow yourself to waste thought and energy where it isn’t deserved. Effective anger management is a tried-and-true stress reducer.
    1. Breathe slowly and deeply. Before reacting to the next stressful occurrence, take three deep breaths and release them slowly. If you have a few minutes, try out a relaxation technique such as meditation or guided imagery.
    1. Whenever you feel overwhelmed by stress, practice speaking more slowly than usual. You’ll find that you think more clearly and react more reasonably to stressful situations. Stressed people tend to speak fast and breathlessly; by slowing down your speech you’ll also appear less anxious and more in control of any situation.
    1. Jump-start an effective time management strategy. Choose one simple thing you have been putting off (e.g., returning a phone call, making a doctor’s appointment), and do it immediately. Just taking care of one nagging responsibility can be energizing and can improve your attitude.
    1. Get outdoors for a brief break. Our grandparents were right about the healing power of fresh air. Don’t be deterred by foul weather or a full schedule. Even five minutes on a balcony or terrace can be rejuvenating.
    1. Drink plenty of water and eat small, nutritious snacks. Hunger and dehydration, even before you’re aware of them, can provoke aggressiveness and exacerbate feelings of anxiety and stress.
    1. Do a quick posture check. Hold your head and shoulders upright and avoid stooping or slumping. Bad posture can lead to muscle tension, pain, and increased stress. If you’re stuck at a desk most of the day, avoid repetitive strain injuries and sore muscles by making sure your workstation reflects good ergonomic design principles. Take our Workstation Quiz to find out how to make your workstation more ergonomically safe.
    1. Plan something rewarding for the end of your stressful day, even if only a relaxing bath or half an hour with a good book. Put aside work, housekeeping or family concerns for a brief period before bedtime and allow yourself to fully relax. Don’t spend this time planning tomorrow’s schedule or doing chores you didn’t get around to during the day. Remember that you need time to recharge and energize yourself. You’ll be much better prepared to face another stressful day.
  • 1. they are governed by a feedback loop to regulate their response (In a feedback loop, increased amounts of a substance — for example, a hormone — inhibit the release of more of that substance, while decreased amounts of the substance stimulate the release of more of that substance.);

    2. they interact with each other;

    3. they influence other brain systems and functions;

    4. genetic (inherited) variability affects the responses of both systems. (That is, depending on their genes, different people can respond differently to similar stresses.);

    5. prolonged or overwhelming responses of these systems can be harmful to an individual.”

    They have a ton more information on this if you are interested in reading all the articles on this topic click here.

    The issues of stress, surpass any economic range, educational range, race range. It is a condition which has touch all of us from time to time. As a parent I am hyper aware of the stresses in my own life as well as my children’s. Here is a great article on teen stress, click here.

    Stress touches all areas of our lives, the work place, the family and home, school and spiritual.  Physically it is said that every ache and pain in our body is tied into some form of emotional stress.  So you can see how stress would be something one would want to get a handle on and be able to identify. I found an interactive stress indicator on WEBMD.

    To find out how stressed you are right now, use this Interactive Tool: What Is Your Stress Level?

    Panic attacks, difficulty breathing, asthema, heart dis-ease, hypertension, eating disorders and digestive issues, headaches, fatigue, body aches, loss of sex drive, loss of appetite or increased appetite, depression; all of these sound like a bad list of side effects to the latest and greatest drugs on the market, but they are very real symptoms of this invisible destroyer called stress.  Here are some solutions the experts feel are useful tools to reduce stress. I would add a couple of more to theirs at the end.

    Eight Immediate Stress-Busters

    Medical Author: Melissa Conrad Stoppler, MD
    Medical Editor: Jay W. Marks, MD

    Most of our lives are filled with family, work, and community obligations, and at some point we feel as though we are “running on empty.” Here are eight immediate stress busters to help “fill up the tank!” So take deep relaxing breath and read on.

Helpguide.org suggests the following on the subject of work place stress:

Coping with work stress in today’s uncertain climate

For workers everywhere, the troubled economy may feel like an emotional roller coaster. “Layoffs” and “budget cuts” have become bywords in the workplace, and the result is increased fear, uncertainty, and higher levels of stress. Since job and workplace stress grow in times of economic crisis, it’s important to learn new and better ways of coping with the pressure. The ability to manage stress in the workplace can make the difference between success or failure on the job. Your emotions are contagious, and stress has an impact on the quality of your interactions with others. The better you are at managing your own stress, the more you’ll positively affect those around you and the less other people’s stress will negatively affect you.

You can learn how to manage job stress

There are a variety of steps you can take to reduce both your overall stress levels and the stress you find on the job and in the workplace. These include:

  • Taking responsibility for improving your physical and emotional well-being.
  • Avoiding pitfalls by identifying knee jerk habits and negative attitudes that add to the stress you experience at work.
  • Learning better communication skills to ease and improve your relationships with management and coworkers.

Read the article from them here.

They go onto suggest :

Time management tips for reducing job stress

  • Create a balanced schedule. Analyze your schedule, responsibilities, and daily tasks. All work and no play is a recipe for burnout. Try to find a balance between work and family life, social activities and solitary pursuits, daily responsibilities and downtime.
  • Don’t over-commit yourself. Avoid scheduling things back-to-back or trying to fit too much into one day. All too often, we underestimate how long things will take. If you’ve got too much on your plate, distinguish between the “shoulds” and the “musts.” Drop tasks that aren’t truly necessary to the bottom of the list or eliminate them entirely.
  • Try to leave earlier in the morning. Even 10-15 minutes can make the difference between frantically rushing to your desk and having time to ease into your day. Don’t add to your stress levels by running late.
  • Plan regular breaks. Make sure to take short breaks throughout the day to sit back and clear your mind. Also try to get away from your desk for lunch. Stepping away from work to briefly relax and recharge will help you be more, not less, productive.

Task management tips for reducing job stress

  • Prioritize tasks. Make a list of tasks you have to do, and tackle them in order of importance. Do the high-priority items first. If you have something particularly unpleasant to do, get it over with early. The rest of your day will be more pleasant as a result.
  • Break projects into small steps. If a large project seems overwhelming, make a step-by-step plan. Focus on one manageable step at a time, rather than taking on everything at once.
  • Delegate responsibility. You don’t have to do it all yourself, whether at home, school, or on the job. If other people can take care of the task, why not let them? Let go of the desire to control or oversee every little step. You’ll be letting go of unnecessary stress in the process.

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My feelings are this, DO YOU! Massages and spa treatments, shopping for something new, exercise, music and dancing and singing, eat right the foods you eat can contribute to mood swings. Get enough sleep, take a short cat nap if you are able to, three days without sleep can cause psychotic episodes in some people. Sleep deprivation is one of the signs of too much stress. Good sex also generates endorphines which helps to balance out the stress levels in both men and women. Medical Marijuana can also reduce stress more effectively then alcohol. Meditation, getting back to nature, listening to nature sounds, aromatherapy is also a nice way to relieve stress, lavender and chamomile are natural stress reducers, kava kava and st. john’s wort is also a good combo for short term stress relievers naturally, take vitamins, especially E and D for the ladies out there and your B complexs, for hormonal relief, get a check up before you try any of these remedies checking thyroid and other metabolic functions and as with anything check with your physician on what will work for you. I also encourage you to study this topic more and do some google searches on the topic. This is something that is personal and can definitely be reduced this stress stuff.  Coloring is a great stress reducer as well as reading, cooking, gardening, knitting and talking to someone about things that are bothering you. Journaling is another great technique. Whatever it takes to make your stress levels come down. The evidence out there shows that it’s a killer, a silent killer of our many bodies, emotional, physical and spiritual. Take care of yourself and DO YOU!  You are no good to anyone if you are not in good health. I am not a doctor and this is NOT medical advice. There are professionals out there for that. Accupuncture/ Accupressure, Natralopathy, Doctor’s of Osteopathy all are good alternatives to seek when looking for healthy and natural ways to reduce stress.

Loving yourself. Just a few more ways we can do that! I do hope you enjoyed the information. Below are a few calming meditation tapes.

Enjoy the moment of now, yesterday and tomorrow are of no consequence, the real changes happen right now, this very moment in your mind. How do you choose to feel? Do you have control over any of it?? Are you just worrying about you, your life and what you are doing? Do not let other people’s stresses become your own. Check with a doctor to make sure there is nothing medically wrong. Seek out many sources and perspectives with any of the topics I offer in these blogs. Be proactive in your own health and well being!

Peace , Love and Light! Until next time~ Kimberly

A lovely stress relieving video by Ken Davis

Peaceful Blue by Dorothea

Stress Relief 101 video from YouTube

Joe DePalma’s This Too Shall Pass

Brainwave stress reduction video

Stress Relief Tips & Exercises

**picture of hawaiian scene provided by Miss Rae Jensan on Facebook Thanks Rae!

Peace, be safe! xox Kimberly

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