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Posts Tagged ‘positive thinking’

Our Own Petitelion Has Some Wisdom About How To Deal With Loneliness!!!

 By: Lianna Giovannoni

      It is highly improbable that anyone ever would decide to wake up one morning and declare to the universe to God “Let there be loneliness! Please God bless with the miracle of loneliness or ask for loneliness as they wish upon a star! Loneliness is not an item on anybodies “bucket list”( things they want to experience before they die) No loneliness is not one of those things that people find and are willing to die for or take an oath for ,devote their lives to. It is never included in a small child’s silent prayer before bedtime. There are no monuments, walls, plaques, etc. that have been erected in honor of loneliness, no encouraging or patriotic or devoted slogans for loneliness(Give me Loneliness or give me Death!LOL).Loneliness is relegated to stories and poems and those are referred to as tragedies or tragic poems.(Dictionary meaning: a medieval narrative poem or tale typically describing downfall of a someone. or a story,poem or play that ends in some misfortune., a serious drama typically describing a conflict between the protagonist and a superior force (as destiny) and having a sorrowful or disastrous conclusion that elicits pity or terror , the literary genre of tragic dramas, a disastrous event ( calamity misfortune). Yes, there are poems and stories etc. that use lonely or loneliness to describe something like the look of a tree or the sound of bird, like ” the only thing on this remote mountain were just clouds and lonely pines, or the only thing that could be heard in the dark was the lonely call of the owl”. The use of lonely or loneliness as a descriptor is probably one of it’s most positive attributes.

     Loneliness is worse than sad. Sad is an integer to the formula of loneliness, such as sad+(bleakness/desolate/alone)= loneliness or sadness x 2=loneliness….in other words lonely has sad in it. It is a darkness that eats you from the inside out.

     Alone is not lonely…Alone just means that you do not have company. Whereas lonely is an constant ache of absence, one that even if you are surrounded by people you feel isolated, alone, bleak, desolate, imprisoned by some invisible wall. Loneliness lays dormant in everyone of us waiting for the right catalyst to wake it up and begin to thrive and grow. There are an infinite amount of catalysts out there, as many as their are feeling creatures and beings in the universe. No one or no living feeling, thinking, being or creature is immune. Although some seem not to suffer from it’s grip as much but they do not have a complete immunity. I’ve even seen pets express loneliness and sorrow, like when on owner dies or when another of the household animals die or leave. I, personally watched with my pets this , we had a male and a female Siamese cats that were pretty much raised together, and when the slightly older male passed away,the female literally cried, would not eat, and even pulled out big patches of her own fur out. She would go each day for weeks to each of the heat register looking for him (for the last 3 years or so of the male cat Robert had a touch of arthritis and would lay on those to loosen his stiff muscles in the morning or when it was very cold weather) she would look for him and she would see he was not there, she would look up at me with such a sadness in her eyes and in her body language and she would let a sad wail that sounded almost like a young woman crying out in loneliness, despair. It was heart wrenching, she would not let anyone console her or touch her.

     Loneliness can not only come from loosing someone thru death, or absence but from a perception that no one can understand or relate to you or that you don’t fit in for some perceived belief or story that you told yourself that somehow you are different or less than and that no one is there that wants or would desire to share life with you experiencing all of life’s ups and downs, no one to share the joys and sorrows, no one that would or could understand you or would share or care the same opinion as to what you consider significant. That there would no one to make memories with that you can share together later no one to enjoy the little things in life with. Sometimes when there is a loss of a person you life such as a life partner, husband/wife or a best friend that you shared all of those things with for a long time, when they are no longer in your life due to death or a breakup because of that loss and the grief that comes from that it may seem to you that you will never be able to find anyone to fill that space in life the void left from those kinds of loss can create such a deep grief that it creates a wall of despair and an over the top feeling alone. Because of that deep loss because of the grief a very pervasive and unique type of loneliness ensues and nothing or no one will be able to change that sense of aloneness the grief of the loss the darkness the sadness that is gripping you, except for going thru your grieving process and the healing effect of time.

     Loneliness can also awaken and grow when you feel so different from those around you that you convince yourself to believe that there will never be anyone for you. You can experience and create a prison of loneliness when you perceive that an impenetrable barrier exists between you and everyone else due to language and/or cultural differences or you moved to a new area where you don’t know anyone or if you suddenly get ill or disabled or anything that you perceive as a barrier between you and other people.

     First of all like I mentioned before, alone is not lonely. A lot of times, alone is what is preferred,wanted and sometimes what is needed. It is important to be comfortable with your own company and to be confident that you are a complete whole individual rather than feeling that you are not enough or that you are incomplete. Sometimes alone is necessary for your mental and/or physical well being. Alone gives us the best way to get perspective for yourself to gain clarity on life decisions , be alone with your thoughts gives us time to meditate, process things or events, gives the opportunity to quiet the chatter of your conscious mind to reduce stress, connect with your higher self or with the Higher power, to ground yourself,or just to have sometime to not be distracted or influenced by others to just to get to know your true nature without any input from others.

     Back to lonely now….First of all I want to say “YOU ARE NOT YOUR EMOTIONS YOU ARE NOT YOUR STORY! AND ALWAYS BE PRESENT!”. Having made those statements I want you to understand that I will be clarifying those shortly, so just keep them in your mind to the side. It will come together just bear with me thank you. What I am about to say can be applied to any emotional response but we are discussing lonely at the moment so if you find yourself asking the question “what about sad, or anxious just substitute the appropriate word for the word lonely okay? So here goes nothing!! Lonely is an emotion that you tied to the story you told yourself or bought into from someone else that your ego told to respond with to with the current situation that you seem to be experiencing at the present time. If we realize before you respond to the ego’s advice that all the emotions is just a list of emotional responses that you have available to choose from as the emotional response to the situations that you perceive you are experiencing as you move thru each moment in your life. Yes Virginia “YOU CHOOSE WHAT EMOTION YOU WANT TO FEEL in response to your perception of the reality of the situation that you are experiencing ” not the other way around. I know right now most of you are saying to yourself (I can’t help what I feel, I control what I feel they just happen, they just are! Yes, I know it may seem that way, because most of us for most of our lives our ego and all the other egos that you have been around throughout your life from the time of your birth, the ones you learned from and emulated as you were growing up have led you to believe (thru no fault of their own) and reinforced over and over one of the great human untruth list is that “We are at the mercy of our emotions” That they own you, they are calling the shots as to your emotional responses. Well guess what? That is the human ego’s ploy to get you to keep you believing that it is real so it can continue to exist and be in control keep you trapped by fear which creates resistance to soul expansion and to create a prison, to put a barrier to blind you to the truth so to speak and continue to buy into the falsehood, the false perception of the reality of your true nature, to state that plainly… to continue the illusion of “That you are at the mercy of your emotions and the story you tied them to, that you don’t have a choice in the matter”! Now, I’m not saying that people and situations, and old programs that you bought into for one reason or another don’t make it hard to choose a more positive emotional response. Let me just briefly give you a side note to this. I want you to understand that with the aforementioned “old programs that you bought into” It is nobody’s fault that you bought into that there was some wrong doing or error in discernment or that you are “stupid and should have known better!”, that is not it at all. It is just one of those human challenges that all of face so that we learn and grow and evolve. It is built into the system of the human process of growth. No one is exempt, no one has the knack or talent to not buy into old programming, because when you bought into them they were necessary for your survival at the moment but once they are loaded onto your hard drive it is difficult to know when or to remember to delete them. Know this “EVERYONE IS CHALLENGED BY THIS AND HAS THE SAME DIFFICULTY AS YOU IT IS JUST PART OF LIFE!” so “DON’T BEAT YOURSELF UP FOR IT PLEASE”!!!! It is just one of those things that is a standard catalysts for all beings to challenge us to learn and adjust and change things in the present so that we can have the opportunity to expand our souls, evolve as spiritual beings having a human experience. Bottom line,it is just part of life!Just like when we grew to adults from being children the average person’s bones lengthen and grow larger, and in puberty we get hair in places that we didn’t have as children, it is just part of becoming, well so is the program buying into thing. Again you are not your story nor are you your emotions. Anyone who tries to tell you or convince differently ….This is what I have to say to them….QUACK! Yes quack! Check this out, your emotions are yours! Yes folks, those puppies are yours to command! Yes, you too can choose what to feel as a response to stuff! Like I said before things, situations and people may make it more difficult to choose a positive emotional response, but with some effort and practice you can do it. As with anything that you learn, especially when it comes to changing old habits, old programs that we have used forever that really in the present do not serve us anymore it takes a minute to become successful at right away. Be patient with yourself do your best to remember to make the effort to slow yourself down, take a breath and as you do this stop the auto pilot decision making process and stop and take the time to think and ask yourself,”How can I stay in the present and choose a best emotional response for what I am truly experiencing now?…not based on what you responded to a similar story from your past that ego is trying to convince you still are but, on who you truly are from you true nature, from your high self, now in this present moment.With the intent of doing it for the highest good for yourself and the highest good of all. It does get easier as you go along and each time you remember to do this the closer you come to do it effortlessly and with a 100% success rate, and really you will be surprised that it will happen easier and quicker than you think! You may be asking yourself,” well how does this apply to loneliness? ” well, I will tell you. When you sense it creeping in and ego begins it’s existence saving dance running it’s jib in your head, trying to convince you to buy into it’s sales pitch. Take the time to look at the story or thought processes or beliefs behind why you are leaning towards choosing lonely as your emotional response, why this emotion is tied to the story why the ego is trying to convince you that this is the response that you need so desperately(from ego’s perspective) to respond with, why this present situation triggered ego to know it is time to get it’s licks in, why ego needs you to respond this way, what is ego’s motive and how this particular? response helps ego to maintain it’s illusionary existence? Ego is like when you were a kid and you had an imaginary friend that keeps sabotaging and causing trouble and because no one else can see them you get blamed for it’s pervasive behavior. Ego like the imaginary friend is forever trying to convince you that it is real, like Pinocchio before the fairy godmother got to him-he is not real and never will be , he will only able to fool you into thinking it is real and that you are the puppet! Well it is time to take back your throne be the ruler of your reality! It is time to pinch yourself and wake up and see that you aren’t the puppet and ego the puppeteer that you are the master puppeteer and ego is the wooden puppet! You are the creator and the master and ruler of your emotions and ego, they are to do your bidding, they are your subjects and not subject to them! When you are suffering with loneliness or that the situation that you are participating in is one that perhaps the all time best scenario for loneliness to thrive and grow and in the present moment you are not able to see a way out from your current perspective reality, that there could no other choice for you. Stop and without hesitation but with complete faith that no matter what things seem like it is truly an illusion do not believe it for one second!!!!!Tell loneliness to get out of town take a long walk off a short pier, take a hike! Turn and face it and see that it is just an illusion. Find your voice… use your imagination and create for yourself a much better reality for yourself by pulling yourself out of the illusion and create the new true perception of reality in your mind. Realize that emotions and stories come and go. Nothing stays the same, things change all the time, nothing is static. Even if it seems to you that it is the lowest worst moment of loneliness of sadness in the world and that is no way out of it could never ever change…Stop, breath, look at the story behind all of that fear, all the loneliness that you tied to that story, or belief/thoughts that aren’t you , are not in the present not your true nature, just not real and pull yourself out of your illusionary perspective and change your perspective to one that serves you better in this present moment, even if it is to incorporate this thought, It won’t be like this forever it will change because nothing is static. Maybe Close your eyes and hold on to that little bit and release the emotion(loneliness) as the emotional response to the present perspective of the situation . Say out loud if you want or just think it, it works either way, it is your coloring book your crayons, I Release it , let it go – then look at some other more positive way to perceive the situation as to why you are experiencing this based purely in the present moment from your true highest self change it to perhaps as an example: Maybe if I see this as something as this situation isn’t about choosing this to be bad but rather a gift of the opportunity to find a better way see this situation as a plus rather than a negative, an opportunity to gain than a loss, that it is for you not against you. you could change this into you have the opportunity to become a hero and to receive blessings by sacrificing and experiencing a little discomfort so that someone else will get an opportunity to get the chance to expand their soul their skill sets raise their vibration by getting a chance at to allow someone their chance to discern and choose to be compassionate, to recognize that one of their own needs their help , to motivate them to learn to be a better expression of God having a human experience, by motivating them to choose to become a more loving kind person, awaken them to their true nature, more of a true human being and discern and choose love and compassion recognize it is the time to give and transform themselves and receive blessings and grace which raises their vibration which raises the vibration of all humans. For your small sacrifice you not only do you get to be a hero and give someone a chance to receive blessings you get the chance to raise the whole humanity but you get to receive blessings and grace and to raise your self up which also does the same for all. So the point is look how much can be accomplished, look at the scope of the effect of just a small change in the way you choose to see things, change your perception of reality and your emotional response to things. It is so a win win win win situation for such a small amount of effort that it is just mind boggling for me. What a small thing to have to experience or that you have to put effort to accomplish so much.

So by changing in ways like this, taking that pause that moment, to slow down take that breath and adjust your perception of reality, let the old programming that no longer serves you go and eliminate that the loneliness story is tied to and choose a more positive emotional response to the present situation you become a big hero and everyone gets blessings.

     There are many surface ways to help you to accomplish these things to help with the changing your perceptions of reality of situations that you are experiencing with loneliness and it’s fertile ground for growth. Yes, surface ways, like joining a class that improves you, your body, your mind like yoga, or a class at your local junior college or something that you would like to see if it is something you might be interested in, there are many avenues for this such as local city town or rural community centers that offer adult classes at night or weekends etc. for things like arts and crafts, exercise, or dance, music, Internet and computer, parenting, golf, yoga and so on. These are good ways to break down some of the perceived barriers and to connect and meet people with similar interests. This a good way for humans to help prevent that fertile ground for loneliness. Some other surface ways are to join a spiritual group, or join a church or religious group of your own choice and persuasion, or create your own group of your choosing such as rock hunting, paranormal group, science, book reading, or whatever subject matter that floats your boat because I guarantee you aren’t alone in your interests. If you are sure how to find those people for the group[ you want to create, here are some tried and true suggestions for that issue. Advertise on your local bulletin boards in your local grocery stores etc, community centers, church and meeting centers, community colleges and adult education centers, freebie newspapers , or on the Internet sites like Facebook and Twitter or Crisis type sites. Volunteer for various charities in your community. If language is a barrier go to your local community centers and adult education centers or churches or spiritual centers and take a class in the pertinent language and from there you will find people with similar language barriers as you. If it is cultural thing, learn about the culture that you are living in, expand your being with knowledge and truth and with the knowledge you can understanding and release the fear and encourage tolerance in yourself and others or teach others about the truth of your culture which also helps others to release ignorance and fear and allows tolerance and compassion an understanding to grow. This not only helps to ward off the loneliness thing but it raises the vibrations for all. If you are disabled or are not able to go out and about, create a group that again is something that you are interested in or create a social network group of disabled or inside bound people or if you are elderly and are homebound etc. this social network group is applicable also, you can connect thru phone, or the Internet or something like Skype which is free thru the computer and you can have several people be able to meet virtually without ever leaving there residences. If you are able to each get an Internet video cameras for your computers you can actually see each other. Nowadays those kinds of things are fairly inexpensive and there are various federal, state and local programs that could help you. Don’t give up if you want to help yourself to choose something more positive this is a real good tried and true way to begin that process.When we take the initiative and realize we are the creators of our realities and do these little things it reaffirms to the universe what you want and need it is like an active prayer, it reaches into the Creator’s toy box and pulls out and brings to you the thing you want that is for highest good which with that intent brings the highest good of all. It brings the real magic that is in us by our birthright as the children of God. What it does, to put it another way, it allows you to connect and have the opportunity to find and share with you fellow human beings common interests and it changes the parameters of the situation and brings in the fertile ground for growth for the positive, breaks down your perception that there are barriers and replaces the barriers with clear smooth avenues to accomplish what just recently you perceived as impossible. This will make the growth of the possibility of loneliness less of a possibility to happen. I’m not saying it will eliminate it altogether at this moment of our existence but it will take it from a high and impossible to get over mountain to in the least a small hill that you face and if enough of us take this perspective it will a some point become a mere speed bump. It is however a step closer for all of us one day to make something that has been highly improbable to eliminate from the human experience to be eliminated within the human experience. All it takes is one person to tell or show one person and it will catch on and once again you can know that YOU ARE A HERO!

      So to recap for you, “You are not your story nor are you your emotions. Become aware and notice the story, the thoughts, the beliefs, the perception of reality that loneliness (or any negative emotions) that you have tied to those stories or beliefs. Release it. Take the moment to pause and take a breath ,and stop and think and decide and become aware change your perception of the reality of the situation, be present and choose the best positive emotional response ( and the list of all the positive is available for you to choose all the time with no exceptions!) based on who you truly are in the present moment. Play with them and discern the best one that serves you highest good and the highest good of all. Then congratulations are in order because you are now on the best and fastest road to becoming a hero in your own right to making loneliness(and if you apply that mind set to sad, despair, etc it will do the same for those) all those painful soul expanding and suffering causing catalyst for humanity evolving cease to exist in this current human experience(at minimize them enough that they are speed bumps instead of impossible to climb over mountains). For sure it is a fact it help you when it is your turn to experience those painful moments, you will be able to move thru them with the greatest of ease and grace and receive blessings for yourself and all humanity.

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Greetings and Salutations One and All! I do hope this blog entry finds you all well and happy! We have  a tremendous show for you this week! Ms. Caitriona Reed will be joining us for the show this October 19, 2010! 9pm MST on blogtalkradio.com/illuminationsoflight.

We thought we would give you a close up on this amazing lady and all that she is doing!

Caitríona Reed has been a facilitator of Personal and Organizational Change for more than twenty-five years. She facilitates workshops, retreats, and trainings internationally.

She integrates her lifelong work in Hypnosis, and as a Master Trainer of Neurological Repatterning and NLP, with her background in Deep Ecology, Global Process Work, and Zen. She received formal recognition as a Zen teacher from renowned Zen Master and Nobel nominee, Thich Nhat Hanh, in 1992.

She currently works as a catalyst of transformational change to help individuals, organizations and entrepreneurs towards thrive in a continually changing social, economic, and global environment.

She is co-founder of Manzanita Village Retreat, and the Five Changes Process. She lives with her partner of thirty years, Michele Benzamin-Miki, in Southern California.

She is author of The Thirty Pressing Questions, a year-long training curriculum integrating perspectives for personal change.

Here are the links to her various projects:

Manzanita Village

CaitrionaReed.com

Programs:

Choosing Personal Freedom

NLP Alchemy

Be sure to tune in for this very special show! Tuesday Night 9pm MST at www.blogtalkradio.com/illuminationsoflight

Love n Light to One and All!

xo

Kimberly


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Greetings and salutations! One and All! I do hope this blog entry finds you well and happy. It has been a crazy week for me on a personal level as well as the professional level. But I wanted to keep the momentum going with this entry of our blog series on relationships. We have covered in past entries the ideas of co dependence and independence, however, we have never covered the idea of inter-dependence. This is a new term that I created to explain the concept of a partnership. These ideas that I am discussing are uni-sexual and universal. They can be applied to any relationship in existence. The reason that I feel it is necessary to create this new concept is that we are moving towards this with the shifts that are coming. How do we put action to making it “we” and not “me”. How do we take the first steps to becoming community minded again instead of overly independent and isolated?

I do not think that I have all the answers or all the parts but I can see how some of it can work. So I only ask that you read these ideas with an open mind and expand on them if you are so inspired and share those thoughts with the world. Leave a comment. I respond to all legitimate comments. So moving onto the concepts first.

Community to my definition is this: ” A gathering of beings working in harmony and cooperation with one another.”

I see this as the third phase if you will because really it begins within yourself and extends to your immediate friends and families and thus it naturally evolves to a community. There are many communities large and small. It’s not the size that matters in this instance. The idea behind a “community” is to work together in cooperation. Now this sounds really great in theory and in an ideal world that would work. It takes a solid commitment of common thinking to make something like this work. For example. Terminology. People as wonderfully different as they are will look at something and have a totally different take on what it is they see. The same idea holds true when they describe things. How often have you said to another person, “that’s not what I meant!” So definition of terms is imperative to healthy communication.

Cooperation: We have learned over the course of the past few millennia to be competative not cooperative with one another. In this shift which is coming there needs to be a cooperation between ourselves and the world around us. Money or it’s concept no longer serves us. I do not have all of the answers but what I do know is that there is no good reason that there are people who are lacking anything in this world. There is enough resources on this planet to sustain 100 billion people if we all worked together to balance that out.

Courtesy/Manners/Respect- People in this age of “Me”, have forgotten some very basic things in life. That people are people for one and for another, that we should treat others the way we would wish to be treated. With kindness, compassion, understanding, tolerance, respect. Words like ” I’m sorry” or “Thank you” or ” Please” go a long ways. Remembering that coming at someone offensively will cause the reactions of defensive manuevers. That a man’s word is golden, if you say you are going to do something then follow through with it, and if something should come up then communicate that with the person you made the promise to.

Communication: Talking, Texting, Writing letters, Computers, Telephones, Smoke signals. Throughout time man has found many creative ways to communicate what is in one’s head. From hieroglyphs to artwork of all kinds and music and story telling and tapestry to architecture and technology. We have found many ways to communicate with each other because we as human beings are communal creatures. We are social. We enjoy the interaction with others around us. We have lost the gift of mind reading which was our original forms of communication. We lost that ability when we fell into the third dimension. As part of the awakening and remembering, this gift is slowly being restored. Thus the words of Christ, “And the darkness shall come to the light, there will be no more secrets, no more lies…” because if we can read each other’s thoughts we have no way or place to “hide” anything. That is an illusion.

To live as two individuals, loving unconditionally in the present moment and working toward a common good is not an easy combination to find. There is a fine balance in inter-dependence. When you are in a partnership, the advantages are that you are not alone, if one falls short in an area the other can assist in making that up with their strengths. This is different then two people as one. We all have our paths and lessons in life. To release judgments and expectations can be a challenge for many. To release the need to control anything is also a challenge for most people. We do not realize how often we come from a place of needing to control people and situations. We must become cognoscente of these times when we are falling into emotional reactions and old programming. It is helpful if you are involved with another who is of like mind so that you may help each other in the recognition of when you are playing the old tapes. The old saying of ” You are the company you keep” holds some truth to it. For what you surround yourself with or feed into your mind is what is in your heart and eventually comes out of the mouth and it feeds like a perpetual circle. So the way to break free from this cycle is to change the response and change the environment and change the input in general. Surround yourself with things that are going to help you achieve your goal of peace and tranquility on a constant basis. Surrounding yourself with positive people is a start. Listening to soothing music instead of angry music is another place that we can change what we feed our brain. These are all things to help us remember that we are whole and secure within our freedom and do not require dependence but choose to be engaged in an inter-dependent , inter-active relationship.

When I first started to think about this whole idea, I went through the list of friends I had in my life. I really got honest about what it was I was gaining from having these people in my life. How have they served me and were there any there who didn’t serve me. I also had to make a decision about what was a friend to me. Applying the terminology again. I had determined that most of the people in my life were in fact NOT friends, but more acquaintances and business associates. That was a rude awakening for me. I had found that I was being a friend and giving more in the relationships then I was receiving and as a result I found that I was getting drained in my energies on a daily basis. When I made the choice to no longer allow the imbalances to take place, those people were taken out of my life, either by my own hand or by circumstance. I also had to work it as I have said earlier in this article, to just let things and people be what they are.

Here is an example. I recently had a guest who had forgotten to mark their appearance on our show, they subsequently didn’t make the appearance. Now, most people would have been hurt or insulted or upset, and I have to admit that I too would have been counted among those people a year ago. Instead my new reaction now was that all things happen for a reason and there are no accidents. This person had some place else to be and that was totally ok and things worked out in the end and so no harm no foul. This left both people feeling as if it was a win win situation. By choosing a different reaction, the response could have left a much more destructive and negative taste in both mouths. But by understanding that things happen, mistakes can be made and that it all works out in the end as it should anyway, to have that total faith that it will all be ok and that it is meant to be. Even when things do not work out in the way we had hoped it is usually for the better.

Not holding expectations on other people or their actions. Again the need to control. If you limit the universe in outcomes or if you place expectation then you are setting yourself up for instant disappointment. If you just go with the flow and not attach the outcome it usually works out better then you expected in your mind.This is much easier in theory then in practice. It takes great conscious effort to allow others to be and to BE yourself. To detach from the emotional body and to control the thoughts and to come from a place of peace. Too often we give too much of ourselves and things in relationships become unbalanced. There needs to be an exchange of energy on some level in a dualistic reality. In the oneness all just IS.

Can human beings achieve inter-dependence? Hard to say. I believe I have seen couples do this on occasion. To be independent, lead independent lives, but still be together. As ” The Profit” states. Like two pillars holding things up, but standing separately, both eat bread but not of the same loaf. To find that balance where two can be in sanctuary and not in a place of beholden or fear. I believe that we have to come to a place of humility and a willingness to work with others in realizing that many hands make less work, but all parties must be willing to do their part. One’s input doesn’t have to be the same work, but a portion of it.

Some interesting musings on inter-dependence and partnerships. What are your thoughts?

Until next time, in Love n Light and Oneness of Heart,

xoxo

Kimberly


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Greetings and Salutations One and All! This has been quite a time energetically, it’s like a huge ebbing of the energetic tides and we are getting ready for a tsunami of a love wave like no other! So right now we are seeing a lot of huge changes in people and their circumstances. As a part of the change we are also re aligning with people who are more in our frequency ranges. So we thought we would do a series of articles this month on the topic of relationships. How to navigate them, how to find new ones, how to overcome hurts of old ones that no longer serve your highest good. Both Lianna and I will be submitting articles surrounding this very personal and interesting subjects, the human relationship. Today I would like to tackle the topic of SOULMATES, TWIN FLAMES AND YOU!

What is a soulmate:

A soul mate is a person who is cut from your same cloth. It can be anyone. Your mother in a past life can be your wife in this one. We are constantly incarnating together in different roles to expand our own experience and to balance out the things which need to be balanced.  More often then not, spiritually speaking, soul mates can  bring to the table a great deal of love, a remembrance of lives gone by. This feeling can be so strong in some instances it becomes addicting like a drug to feel that same wonderfully great feeling of love. However, the down side to this is that we are often not meant to recreate a great love affair in this lifetime. We are here for different reasons and this is where most people get messed up with all this. They think because they recognize that person they are meant to be! NOT always the case! In fact, I would say there are more who are not to be then who are.  The purpose of relationships is to accelerate the learning curve. As we interact with each other we continue  to expand our experiences to become whole people. We use others to assist us in this process and they agree to it before you ever arrive on the stage of life.

Then there are those who we have such a strong bond with that it is almost impossible to get them out of your mind because you are so extremely connected with that person. For those of you who have never had this type of an intense connection where you are completely at oneness with another soul then you will probably have some difficulty in wrapping your head around this type of intense love. It is like being addicted to a drug or a habit, as previously mentioned. You cannot function in life’s normal daily activities for your thoughts are consumed like a fire in your heart and head. You eat , drink , sleep this person even when you are fighting you still have that constant love connection. Love doesn’t change or alter, it does however have a double edged sword. With this type of Love when the two are apart it can create total chaos in ones life! You feel as if a part of you has been removed from your body! You feel as if life is just not quite in sync with this person not a part of your world . You cannot seem to function beyond auto pilot. You continue in life much as a zombie. Putting on a happy face when all the while you are dying inside to know how that person is, what are they doing, what are they thinking. Some would call this obsessive compulsive in some ways it can very much mimic that, but this is a different type of deal, this is your heart is sick, being love sick. Even when you succeed at creating a physical separation through marriage or relocation that feeling never goes away, the Love is constant. These types of feelings are more recognized in the romantic relationships but the same can hold true for best friends and family members or a pet. I have been blessed to have experienced soul recognition in many people I have met over the years! Some of them just recently. These types of connections are really wonderful because of the intensity of them for personal awareness, refinement and experience. It helps us to grow stronger to know what we really want or don’t want. To help us get over ourselves with regard to fear, control, or lack of control, self doubt, self pity all of the things that would be negative in today’s definitions of a whole person. Often times we make the mistake of seeing the persons inside and their potential rather then where they truly are, as we have discussed in previous blog entries. If you have one person who is awake and can recognize the other party for who they are in Spirit, yet the other party is asleep and doesn’t believe in such things, this can be an interesting challenge especially for healers and empaths. We have a natural “thing” within us that wants to fix everything because we know we can. We attract the broken and crazy because they recognize that healing energy within. Also there is those who will feel the energy of Love running through you and they recognize the feelings of “home” or being in the oneness of Love, but it is not the person they love it’s the energy they carry! Once that drunk in Spirit wears off, that other person will often go upon their own personal journey without you and usually with another. This is a regular occurence for those who have the path of opening hearts.

So again a soulmate can be anyone, not limited to romance.

Soul Groups what are they?

Soul groups are beings who again are from a group of souls or beings made from the same fiber. Often time our soulmates on Earth are chosen from this “group”. However, in this day and age, I will say that I have seen a lot of cross marriages taking place. Meaning, different houses are forming alliances within resonating soul groups, the result is new genetics to accommodate the future generation’s frequencies.

Twin Flames

It is rare, very rare, that a true twin flame will incarnate within the same lifetime.  In some instances, if the energy is too great or there is a mission/purpose a soul can split into multiple bodies thus creating the twin self on earth. For this reason, the other half our ourselves is usually on the other side assisting us. However, it is not impossible. Nothing is. But more often then not, twin flames do not cross in the same lifetime. I would however agree that there are more sets now then ever before just because of the opportunities to clear karmic issues.

Partnerships are the more common truth in relationships. It often times has nothing to do with love which is a true shame, it’s all about comfort zones and settling for less because you believe that’s all you can achieve or ever have.

That limited thinking is just that. Anything is possible and as long as it’s within divine alignment for your soul plan then it not only can happen but will likely happen.

The problem comes in when we have expectations to a desired outcome. We torture ourselves trying to make square pegs fit into round holes.

We want this person to love us as much as we love them, well in the case where one is asleep the other awakened that is not usually possible. Due to different perceptions as to what is happiness. What is love or friendship by each individuals perceptions is always going to be different. To make relationships of any kind work, there must be a common view of life and common definitions of those terms. It takes a mutual dedication to work things through and not to run away and hide when things get difficult. To trust so that all communication can be honest without fear of repercussions. To be mature enough to be honest with yourself first and those around you. To be determined and patient enough to allow the other person to be all they are, good bad and ugly! We so often want to control or just change this or that to make things work. We need to begin to realize that sometimes when we are holding too tightly we have to let it go so that it can grow into the reality of what we see in that person. We are learning I believe in this time frame the ground rules for being inter-dependent with one another, rather then being co-dependent or too in-dependent or just dependent period.  I will go more into the concept of inter dependence in a later blog.

A soulmate can be a beautiful thing, it can be a giant nightmare to others, usually involving high emotional roller coaster feelings. Just remember, be careful what you ask for or focus on the universe will provide!

I hope this clears up the idea of “soulmates” for people and please, if you have any questions or I can clarify better, please do not hesitate to comment! I will get back to you!

Thanks for reading! xoxo Kimberly

Here are a few other people’s thoughts on “soulmates”.


This entry is rated R for adult language and topics but is full of truths….


Tune in tomorrow night when we discuss this amongst many other aspects of relationships! http://www.blogtalkradio.com/illuminationsoflight



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Greetings and Salutations One and All! I do hope that this blog entry finds you happy and healthy! For us here at Illuminations of Light, it’s been an amazing week of transformation! We have come to a point where we are about to blossom with the show and we are so grateful and excited about it too! It’s awesome to live in such amazingly magical times! The miracles just don’t stop coming and it’s priceless! It’s you guys who continue to help the show grow strong by telling your friends and sharing what you heard! Thanks so much!

Well, this week, we have a wonderful lady of light joining us! Her name is Barbara Hofmeister! She is also a host on Blogtalkradio and her show is called ” The To Be Show”. She has also authored a bestseller called, “To Be or Not To Be…The Choice Is YOURS!”

Barbara is funny and real, the steps she takes you through really help you gain clarity and focus and steps to help you get to know yourself and really solidify your visions. Her personal story is an inspiration and a wonderful example of how walking by faith, putting action to thought, can help you manifest the life you want to have.

Here is a bit more about Barbara:

“Barbara Hofmeister is a refugee from Communist Germany and knows first hand what it is like to be living in adverse circumstances. Severely abused and with low self-esteem she set out to live her personal dream traveling the world sharing what she learned from her intense studies and the “University of Hard Knocks” with a wide audience.

Barbara became involved in her own personal development in 1978 when a friend gave her a book by Dr. Wayne Dyer and she has not stopped since to further her knowledge on the topic.

Her never ending enthusiasm and passion for her work shine through every presentation she gives. You will not be able to stay untouched as Barbara has a way of reaching deep inside so  you rediscover your hidden dreams and – if you so choose – live your life’s true purpose.

Barbara uses a practical step by step approach that allows ANYBODY to move towards their dream life.

She is a certified Trainer of accelerated learning, Trainer of NLP, Time Line Therapy, and a Master Peak Performance Coach.

Mrs. Hofmeister’s live trainings are very interactive, using the latest accelerated learning techniques. The aim is to let participants implement what they learn while they learn it. It increases retention rate to approx.85% while a regular “teaching” seminar has a retention rate of only 20%.

Her Specialities are:

Confidence Building Workshops
Peak Performance Coaching
Accelerated Learning Workshops
Mastermind Focus Groups
Life Coaching
Keynote Speeches

Topics include
1. Living a Life of Choice using the TO BE system (2 or 2 1/2 days)
2. Make a Team ‘Work’ (1 day)
3. Start your Cycle of Success (1 day)
4. 10 Steps to Success and Happiness (2 days)
5. From Goal Setting to Goal Getting (1and3 days)
6. Dream > Vision > Reality (2and3 days)
7. “Confidence Speaks” Public Speaking Workshop (max 12 participants, 2-3 days)

Keynotes:
Living a Life of Choice
Goal Setting to Goal Getting

Plus

Mastermind Focus Groups and

1 : 1 results oriented Life Coaching..”

Here is a YouTube put out by Barbara,

Barbara on Overcoming a Mid Life Crisis

There are so many video entries on YouTube for Barbara I would encourage you to seek out the others!

We hope that you can join us tomorrow for what should be a very powerful show, 9pm MST on blogtalkradio.com/illuminationsoflight.

Until next time, I wish you and yours many blessings, stay tuned for upcoming announcements and some great blog entries ( we have been busy writing!) Make it a great day! xoxo Kimberly

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Greetings and Salutations One and All! It’s been awhile since we have posted here! Glad to be home and have things back in order! This week we have a very special guest who we decided to keep a secret until the night of the show! But in honor of our guest we are going to dedicate this blog to explaining what an NLP Coach is and does! I myself only recently learned of this marvelous new technique and am very excited to discuss it on the show this week!

What is NLP?

Neuro Linguistic Programming is what it stands for. According to Wikipedia this is their definition:

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is a controversial approach to psychotherapy and organizational change based on “a model of interpersonal communication chiefly concerned with the relationship between successful patterns of behaviour and the subjective experiences (esp. patterns of thought) underlying them” and “a system of alternative therapy based on this which seeks to educate people in self-awareness and effective communication, and to change their patterns of mental and emotional behaviour”.[1]

The co-founders, Richard Bandler and linguist John Grinder, claimed it would be instrumental in “finding ways to help people have better, fuller and richer lives”.[2] They coined the title to denote their belief in a connection between neurological processes (‘neuro’), language (‘linguistic’) and behavioral patterns that have been learned through experience (‘programming’) and that can be organized to achieve specific goals in life.[3][4][5]

NLP was originally promoted by its co-founders in the 1970s as an effective and rapid form of psychological therapy,[6][7][8] capable of addressing the full range of problems which psychologists are likely to encounter, such as phobias, depression, habit disorder, psychosomatic illnesses, and learning disorders.[9] It also espoused the potential for self-determination through overcoming learned limitations[10] and emphasized well-being and healthy functioning. Later, it was promoted as a “science of excellence”, derived from the study or “modeling”[11] of how successful or outstanding people in different fields obtain their results. It was claimed that these skills can be learned by anyone to improve their effectiveness both personally and professionally[12]

Despite its popularity,[13] NLP has been largely ignored by conventional social science because of issues of professional credibility[13] and insufficient empirical evidence to substantiate its models and claimed effectiveness.[14] It appears to have little impact on academic psychology, and limited impact on mainstream psychotherapy and counselling.[14] However, it had some influence among private psychotherapists, including hypnotherapists, to the extent that some claim to be trained in NLP and apply it to their practice. NLP had greater influence in management training, life coaching,[15] and the self-help industry.[16]”

For the full definition on Wikipedia click here

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What is mirroring? Check out this YouTube Video….

The handshake …..

A different idea of it….

Eye patterns….

How to stop anxiety using NLP

Interesting stuff huh? Definitely different then anything I have ever seen before!

Tune in this Tuesday Night 9pm MST on blogtalkradio.com/illuminationsoflight!

Love n Light in Oneness of Heart!

Kimberly

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Greetings and Salutations One and All! It has been an amazing time of change and rebirth. Many people’s lives have changed, and in the immediate it looks bleak but there is a rainbow after every storm.  How we choose to see the challenges and they are many, is how we will weather that storm and the aftermath from it. It is for sure one of the most difficult challenges in life when your entire world changes in a matter of moments, or hours.  The good news is that just as quickly as it seems to all fall apart there is a solution to the issue at hand or a new door that opens, a new road, a new beginning. It is never easy changes in life, especially when they seem to come to your face back to back to back, but hold steady and take things one moment at a time when it seems that you cannot breath for all the blows you have been given.  Talk it out as much as you can with good friends who do not mind listening. Go ride your bike or get quiet with God in your own personal way and get it out of your system. Allow the emotions to ride through you like walking through a fog. Let them go and realize and accept that what you are dealing with is not a mountain, it only feels like it. See it as a speed bump, knowing that you are on the right track, because the law of opposites always comes first. Do not give up on yourself. Do not give up on God and the Universe. Do your best to say thank you for those things you do have, not focus on what is lacking or now lost. It is in the gratitude that prayers and miracles can work along with a little faith and some action that you do have control of.

I will share with all of you that this past two weeks has been a true test of endurance in faith walking. As many things as one could imagine possibly going wrong did and then some. But all the while I kept telling myself that it would all work out. I had several moments of total breakdown to release the shockwaves that had hit my heart, mind, body and soul. But as I have advised to all of you, I allowed myself to feel those feelings as a part of the response to the stimuli but once that was done, I started to focus on those things I did have in my life that were not broken or gone, those things which survived and needed to be nurtured and valued. I took action on those things which were within my control and asked for help from others un ashamed because it was truly needed in the moment and so grateful that it was there when I did ask. For all the things that went wrong, it could have been so much worse! And as the challenges presented themselves there was someone there to pick up the baton and run with it until the goal of moving me was completed. Now the job of getting me settled and working is at hand. No longer a desire but a need. I had set out on this path to begin anew, to expand myself and my horizons. I made it through when the odds were totally against me making that happen. Moments of doubt in myself in everything and everybody, but they were moments not days or months. The ebb and flow moved quickly and things continue to move with a swiftness I have not experienced since my awakening. I am not perfect, I have my moments of weakness and anger and frustration like all the rest, but I do my best now, to really seize that opportunity to change my perspective and actions around when challenges arise. I stay in the right now. What can I do about this right now? If it’s nothing then fretting will not help at all. So I may retreat and meditate, or write, or sing or walk or sit in the sun, something to change how I am looking at things. Taking a moment to come to a balance. That is not an easy thing to do when you just want to run and hide from the world wondering why you woke up this morning. Not an easy thing to do when you feel like the train has just plowed into your chest and you cannot breath over and over again.

Change always means the death of something and the rebirth of a new thing. It is never the same but if it was, we would not grow, it would be boring and stagnant if there were no adversity in the world. This is why we are grateful for even the challenges in life. Yes life changing. Yes very scary because we do not know what lies before us. We have to remember that it could be something even more wonderful then we ever imagined! It may look the same but it could be better and stronger! YOU are better and stronger having walked through that fire! Now you might be able to help guide another though that same scary moment when they come to it in their walk! You never know until you try it. You never know unless you risk walking through that door of uncertainty and discomfort. Living life requires that you take the risks. Failure is only one step closer to success. We never learn if we don’t try. For me, I worked on the show, the websites, unpacking boxes and organizing one box at a time, I had to rearrange a few things and borrow a friend’s car for awhile, I have to figure out a means of income that will sustain my son and I. When I stepped back and took things as I could, what I could do I did, what I couldn’t do I put off until I could do it with success and clarity. I am being very contemplative in the steps that I make and not doing it from a place of fear or desperation. I have done my best, not totally successful at not reacting but responding. I have remembered to be loving with myself and others and to be grateful for all that I have. To remember that no matter how dark it seems, God has never let me down. Even when things didn’t logically make sense, it will always work out for the highest good of all. I try to remember to be humble and compassionate in my walk. To do deeds in love without expectation. To give until I can give no more of myself, my belongings, my time, my knowledge… and if I do these things, then all the rest will fall into place somehow.

Stand up for what is right. Believe in yourself when no one else does. Remember that we are never alone even though the road can be lonely. Life is meant to be lived. We are meant to be happy whatever that looks like to you. I know that God has not brought me through the many things in life that I have endured to have me fail now. I have to believe that he loves me that much and that I have to love myself that much. I am thankful that I have people around me to remind me to believe in my ability to carry on no matter what. To land on my feet and make lemonade out the lemons I get handed. I do my best to find the serenity in any given moment. The beauty of the sunrise, the peace of the sunset. The simple things in life that make me cherish the life I have and give me the strength to make it through to the next challenge or task at hand and to give me the stamina to endure those moments when life is not fun or happy. I encourage all of you to hear my tales and thoughts and see if you see some of yourself or someone you know in these words and perhaps for a moment see a new perspective a different set of eyes. And that my hope is you find some comfort in knowing that it will all be OK and will work out just as it’s supposed to. Staying in the now, keeps your sanity. Leave for tomorrow what is tomorrows today has enough of its own.

Share with us if you will some of your moments of strength and challenge and how you overcame in your journey. It is good to share so that others may gain from your experience.

I thank you all for your time and consideration of these musings of mine. Be blessed and nothing less always.

Until next time. Adieu. xox Kimberly

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