!”There were many times I almost felt like this could be a fact
Posted in Current Events, Editorial Section, Energy Updates, Messages 2 the masses, psychology and self help, Relationships and Love Stuff, Spiritual Development, What's Weird and Interesting, tagged ascension, ascension tools, awakening, blogtalkradio, healing, illuminations of light, metaphysical, metaphysical teachings, metaphysical updates, metaphysics, now, universal thinkers, universal thinking on April 13, 2010| Leave a Comment »
Posted in Current Events, Editorial Section, Energy Updates, Messages 2 the masses, psychology and self help, Questions from our students, Relationships and Love Stuff, Spiritual Development, tagged ascension, awakening, blog, broken heart, Current Events, dark night of the soul, energy alerts, everyday, godluvsthisangel2, guilt, healing, how to heal, how to heal a broken heart, illuminating, illuminations, illuminations of light, illuminationsoflight, inspiration, life, Love, love gone wrong, loving messages, loving thoughts, mental anguish, messages to the masses, metaphysical, metaphysical teachings, metaphysical training, metaphysical updates, metaphysics, misery, overcoming, overcoming sadness, people, positive outcomes, positive thinking, psychology, recovery, regrets, sadness, soldiers, soul journey, spiritual, Spiritual Development, spiritualism, spirituality, support, survivor's guilt on March 14, 2010| Leave a Comment »
I hear a lot of people claim they have no regrets and sometimes I know they’re lying or they haven’t reached that point yet, but everyone at some point will do or say something that will absolutely and irrevocably shift the course of the rest of their life.
“I wouldn’t be the person I am today if not for “insert excuse here””
Most people say this because it’s the accepted answer to the age old question “What do you regret?”
I think that answer’s a lie, because deep down, most people don’t really like themselves. They hide from themselves; they make excuses for themselves as to why this and why that, and they don’t really know what they are saying. They only know what is acceptable to say.
I know these people exist because I am one of those people. I could sit here and say that in my short 24 years in existence I haven’t done one thing that I regret, but everyone would know it to be flat out bulls**t. I’ve done unfair things to good people, and it cost me everything…the girl I loved, the future I had dreamed of…everything that makes a life colorful was taken because I chose poorly.
And I regret that it took me losing everything to learn one simple lesson; that another person had to suffer because I, for some reason, didn’t have the good sense or courage to stand up for what was right and what I believed in.
You know what I learned?
Integrity is everything. It’s the foundation on which my character is built, not some garment that I can take on and off at will. You give up your integrity, you don’t have anything after that, because everything you are is a pile of s**t.
A life is nothing more than a series of small events, strung together by the fabric of time and the happiest souls are not the ones who have the least worries; they’re the ones who remain flexible. Who, no matter what may come, use a stumbling block as a stepping stone. They’re the ones who move through life like water.
I want that. I had that. Once. I know I can have it again. I’m just lost. I have no real direction, no real goal, I’m just moving through these days without any sort of enthusiasm for much of anything except art. Stories. Poems. Music. Songs. Movies. Photography. These things that move the soul…
I let so many days go. So many days that could’ve been spent better, but I chose to waste them, and now that I can hear his footsteps a little clearer, those days now seem so much more precious. I only have one life, and I want to make it mean something. I want to leave this world a better place than the one I came into. And it’s hard because I see so much of the world going wrong, and I, having so very little control over my own world, don’t know what to do.
I go to work and I come back and I watch the cars go by on the freeway below. Or the ships that sit in port out in the harbor. I wonder why I can’t be more like the wind? To roll freely like I once did.
As you can tell, I spend a lot of time falling back into the past. It’s gone. The very best days of my life are gone and that’s a pretty sad thought…but the beautiful thing about it is that I have no idea what’s yet to come. So my best days may yet be ahead of me. Maybe not, but there is still air in my lungs and if God permits my soul to return each day, then I will find the meaning in my life once again.
In and of itself, life is too big a mystery to figure out in one lifetime. But then again, maybe I’ll get lucky and become one of those happy sages found in some hidden stretch of mountains. Maybe I’ll be old and bald with a bunch of grandchildren and a wife I adore…who knows. I don’t let myself think of such things because deep down, I don’t believe in them. But just because I don’t believe, doesn’t mean it can’t happen…because there are a lot of people who believe in me…and for me.
And I try so desperately not to disappoint.
What more can be said? What would I do for one more day? What would have happened if I had been the one to die that day instead of her? What would she have become? Would she be married? Would she have kids? What would she look like? Her face is just a blur to me now…
I won’t ever be able to answer those questions…survivor’s guilt is something that stays with you all the days of your life. When someone gives their life for yours, what do you do when your life has become such a disappointment?
I wish I knew the answer.
All I know for sure is that somewhere out in the unknown mists of time, there’s an end waiting for me. A lake to which this life of mine flows. And when I get there, I will have a smile on my face because I will know that I was loved, and that I made a difference in someone’s life. That is my motivation. Not to waste a sacrifice. I will find my way through the fog and dark and cold and whatever kind of misery this life can hurl at me. And I will be the light in the dark for people as I have been…for what is to give light, must endure burning.
From this day forward, I live my life for the people who make it worth living. The friends that make me smile, the love that makes me glow, and the series of small events that will make this life of mine a damn good read someday. When I’m gone…I want people to remember one thing and one thing only.
Love.
Because that is what I remember.
“What tomorrow brings, we cannot know”
Posted in Breaking News, Current Events, Editorial Section, Energy Updates, Messages 2 the masses, Spiritual Development, Uncategorized, What's Weird and Interesting, tagged ascension, awakening, earth shifts, Energy Updates, global, godluvsthisangel2, illuminations of light, illuminationsoflight, light, lightworkers, Love, messages to the masses, metaphysical, metaphysical updates, metaphysics, planetary, unity, univeralists, universal light, warriors, wisdom, words of wisdom on March 5, 2010| Leave a Comment »
Greetings and salutations! One and All! Well today is going to be a heated day. We are going to see the energies of competitiveness, jealousy, insecurity and thus a lot of flying tongues! The absolute best way to deal with this today is to stay QUIET! Bite your tongue no matter how angry you get. Hold off for a day and see if things do not pass. Truly you will only serve yourself to observing the wisdom of silence. Because we may regret what words come out of our mouths otherwise. Words are like swords there are two edges. It can be used in a positive way, weilding the shield of truth, the pen is mightier then the sword they say too! So my point is that there is an energy associated with words. Some people are very sensitive to these types of things. So where most people would let words fall off their back others cannot do this and get “hypersensitive” about the words, they take this like a cut to their soul. Remember the law of attraction, cause and effect. What we focus on, what we put out comes back and quick!
So take care this day, do your best to ride the waves and be in a place of love and non reaction. Exercise the wisdom of silence and allowing to just be and let it pass. Hold off for a day, at least!, and then look at it again. Timing is everything, in holding off the other party is more receptive to receiving your side of things. To meet anger with anger, only becomes and exercise of control and unproductive when both sides shut down. So choose your battles, recognize the energies today are particularly strong and misunderstandings have a high probability today. So ride the waves in Love n Light all. xoxo Kimberly
Posted in Current Events, Editorial Section, Energy Updates, Messages 2 the masses, Relationships and Love Stuff, Spiritual Development, What's Weird and Interesting, tagged all american, american veterans, awakening, Current Events, energy alerts, godluvsthisangel2, happiness, illuminations, illuminations of light, interesting, Love, messages to the masses, metaphysical, metaphysical updates, metaphysics, patriotic, patriots, soldiers, spiritual, Spiritual Development, spirituality, universal, updates, weird on March 5, 2010| 4 Comments »
Greetings and Salutations! One and ALL! Well I will tell you the lady of the night, La Luna, in her fullness wreaked havoc on the emotional bodies of many this past week but thanks to the 3/3/3 energy wave of love which was just released we are experiencing a moment to catch our breath! Seems the energies of the planet were just slightly crazy for a brief moment but for those who remembered to do their meditations and continue to allow the waves to pass through with ease and grace and see them coming gently like a lapping wave against the lakes shores, stayed focused on positive outcomes faired better then those who did not. Positive thinking is essential and to remember always that we are completely supported and surrounded with love and light and there’s many beings helping us from the other side, as well as our ancestors. The road is narrow, and not always easy to walk, we stumble and pick ourselves up and grow with each lesson. Remember that with each door closing there is a window that opens and to release the fear to the universe for transmutation. Surrender it to God as they say. Change is just that, the natural ebb and flow of the universal energies, as you know nothing is stagnant and there nothing to fear. Embrace the waves as they roll in and allow them to pass quickly. Be forgiving of yourselves and each other. We are all in the same boat and we should remember tolerance and forgiveness in remembering that we are all here to learn, to do our part and to hold the balances of duality help bring them back to center from the extreme polarities, this often times is not our stuff it’s the planetary stuff we agreed to transmute when we took on these missions. At times we feel what is the point because as our faces are smooshed against the tree we cannot see the forest and must go within to change that reality so that we may step back and gain a better perspective of where we stand with relation to the forest.
As we begin to grow we can begin to step up into the roles as co creators if you will and change the outcome! We can do this if we think about things in a place of peace and love and harmony internally so that is what reflects outwardly and we then attract that energy. You do not want to come from a place of fear. It is much easier said then done I realize but truly if you can achieve this state, the payback for that or the benefit of that action is love and ease and grace back to you when you need it most. So remember to forgive and to love yourselves and your enemies too. For there is no separation in the unity of oneness. Live life, experience it, accept new opportunities. My friend said to me yesterday, “Obstacles are things we see when we take our eyes off our own path”. I thought that was very profound. The chaos wants distraction, keep your eyes on the prize or be still and let it pass, let the drama leave with those who will bring it forth. Do not hold onto it, like the winds through the leaves let it pass through your being transmuted in light. Run purple and blue and green through your being then the rest of the rainbow colors blended in. Clean your auras regularly. It will help with the fatigue. Wash your hands more if around a lot of negativity or handling a lot of counseling or healing in a day. Water is a wonderful way ot purify on the fly.
We have some interesting alignments coming up through March 22, 2010, we can expect more earth shift activity. The magnetics have stablized for the moment but I feel they will kick up again by late next week and attitudes will be flying all around. As mars complets his circle and moves back to a forward direction we will see that energy pulling alot of the emotional residuals out of the emotional bodies and venus will be assisting in this dance as will Mercury have his two cents to say as well, so with all these big players shifting in their symphony we are affected by the octives as the waves hit our small home planet. Again, stay out of fear, see different outcomes to the hype, see it move with ease and grace, send love to our planet to help her move through her birthing pains gently and with love and support. It can only help.
This is going to be a short blog for me tonight as I too need to be in some quiet space to stayed centered. Until next time, blessings love and light! xoxo Kimberly
Some further thoughts from our poet yesterday, he’s really more a philosopher and walking conundrum, my friend Stan….but he will definitely make you think! Here’s some other thoughts he shared with me yesterday.
Does the possibilities of the probable out weigh the probability of the possible? Or is it all just perceptions of perceptions with so few absolutes?
“A friend answered”
Okay. Do the possibilities of the probable out weigh the probability of the possible?…. Possibilities are increasing the field, whereas probabilities are limiting. So the possibilities of the probable would include an almost infinite field, whereas the probabilities of the possible would be an increasingly narrow field. So yes.
Or is it all just perceptions of perceptions with so few absolutes?… Also a yes. Reality is our inner translation, or perception, of what we view in the outer world, also a perception. So our opinion of the small amount of data of the world we view. Because we are taking from such a small sample, and we’re biased, none of it is truly absolute.
The Guild
What is a psychic made of
I’ll tell you it’s not love.
It’s pain and grief and lot’s of frustration,
and total chaos from isolation.
Your friends and your family think your insane,
this is normally the gist of the game.
People ask you for answers to find,
some of their questions torment your mind.
Yet with an open heart we all try to forge on,
trying to be in key with the metaphysical song.
But some of the notes seem out of key,
and most of the readings don’t come for free.
One way or another we pay for it all,
never getting any sleep, taking call after call.
Listening to all kinds of people with an open heart,
taking on pains we wish we could depart.
So the next time you talk to a psychic, remember
it takes lots of grief to become a member.
Dedicated to My “Friend”
The Psychic Traveler
Stanley Victor Paskavich
Author of Stantasyland
Messages for today from a soldier of the past…..these poems come from a man who fought in a war for his country has died and come back more times then the average person and is a multiple walk-in and still deals with the struggles of a war that was not his to fight, but did his duty and his life changed forever…..these poems reflect some of that processing and wisdom. Thank you Stan and all our soldiers of war, past and present. It is my hope in our new world that peace and love reign for the good of all concerned. Amen
The Right War
The war wachine the war machine oiled by the blood of man,
the war machine the war machine consuming every flag it can.
The battles we fight get more technical every day,
and destroys nature and where children play.
From toy soldiers to a fighting man,
with guns and bombs or hand to hand
the best of the best walk land to land
supporting their countries own war plan.
Yet, in the end will any one see
the thing they all call victory.
For after the battle what place does glory give,
in a country where the conquered painfully live.
I believe it’s time we fought a war of wit,
with the outcome of a planet that’s perfectly fit.
Not just for peace or love of each man,
but, to preserve life and nature right where we stand.
For Life is a blessing and should be treated as one,
combine it with nature and the wars will be done.
Truth Peace Tranquility (TPT)
Stanley Victor Paskavich
Author of Stantasyland
All Enemies Foreign and Domestic
America’s fighting an unpopular war,
many of our soldiers have died or seen gore.
Some will have injuries until they reach their death,
from the oath that they swore with dutiful breath.
Our country is strong, our nation is proud,
thank all our soldiers with praises out loud.
Don’t judge our leaders for choices they make,
doing this could be ones biggest mistake.
Remember great nations often fall from within,
loosing faith in our leaders could lead to the end.
I salute you my comrades both living and dead,
may you be blessed for the oath that you’ve said.
May your gift to this country be service, or death,
not ever fall silent on your country mans breath.
Stanley Victor Paskavich
Author of Stantasyland
Love far away
As she slept in the moonlight through her window.
Dreaming of her soldier far away,
She had sand in her eyes from where he stay.
Her Lover was in Iraq with many others
So far from all their fathers and their mothers.
Defending the American way.
As she slept with the moonlight through her window,
she tossed and turned through most of the night.
Praying God would look over her dear soldier
and for them to soon be together
in each others arms filled with delight.
All she could dream of was her lover
fighting for freedom where he stay.
Hoping he would return to her one day.
But, she knew that he must right now serve his country
and for this he might have to give his life,
yet, she also knew after his duty
if he returned he would make her one proud wife.
Stanley Victor Paskavich
Author of Stantasyland
Sending Them Home
Body bags,Toe tags assorted pieces galore.
Once they were a soldier, now their my minds horror.
I am only treated I never will be well.
I walk as people stare at me in my living Hell.
I did my job in the morgue to the best of my ability.
Now the morgues trapped in my thoughts,for me to always see.
Many colors, sounds and smells are triggers in my mind.
but, I’d send my comrades home, again time after time.
The closure I helped give to the families of the dead,
was the sacrifice my mind endured leaving me in dread.
We gave the fallen the most respect a soldier could ever see,
and I have no regrets for the pain that’s trapped inside of me.
PT-SD and a Bi Polar mind will be with me to the end,
but, even though I suffer I’d do it all again.
Years ago suicide seemed like the only thought I knew,
As I sat and drank heavily it seemed like the thing to do.
The pills I take to go to sleep get weaker every year,
the tears I find in my eyes respect the fallen dear.
The VA does the best they can with my splintered mind,
yet, I fear it may burn out somewhere down the line.
Stanley V. Paskavich
Author of Stantasyland
Existing
I’ve seen war I’ve been to Hell,
With human parts that looked liked gel,
and some things I could not tell,
that makes me not feel very well.
Until I say my last farewell,
or God does ring my final bell.
They’ll be trapped within my mortal shell,
inside my mind where the pain does swell.
I scream and cry and laugh and yell,
from the ward or from my cell.
It’s Like I’m under some ones spell,
and into their grips I have fell.
There’s no reason to rebel,
this is my pain in which to dwell.
That holds no way to dispel.
Stanley Victor Paskavich
Author of Stantasyland
Writen from my own experiences during Desert Storm
Brotherhood Lost
There he sits in an alley with his finger in a can for the last drop of grease,
wearing pieces of a uniform which once stood for pride and supported peace.
This lost homeless soldier once was so gallaint and brave,
now often he sits chilled and hungry awaiting his grave.
Soldier’s are trained to be brave and look fear eye to eye,
thousands are homeless laying in alleys wishing to die.
Countless money is spent teaching men how to survive,
yet, when they return to the Urban’s they live barely alive.
Employers sometimes won’t hire a veteran mainly out of fear.
They’re stuck on the movies where a soldier cuts a man ear to ear.
Soldiers are trained to rise to the call,
they’re not blood thirsty maniacs wanting bodies to fall.
All soldiers are told to have faith in their leaders and God up above,
I salute you my comrades and pray you find serenity, peace and love.
It’s not just our leaders that need to make the plan
our veteran’s need help from each and every woman and man.
Lets pray the religions can donate some money too.
for the sacrfices those made for GOD country and you.
Stanley Victor Paskavich
Author of Stantasyland