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Greetings and salutations! One and All! I do hope this blog entry finds you well and happy. It has been a crazy week for me on a personal level as well as the professional level. But I wanted to keep the momentum going with this entry of our blog series on relationships. We have covered in past entries the ideas of co dependence and independence, however, we have never covered the idea of inter-dependence. This is a new term that I created to explain the concept of a partnership. These ideas that I am discussing are uni-sexual and universal. They can be applied to any relationship in existence. The reason that I feel it is necessary to create this new concept is that we are moving towards this with the shifts that are coming. How do we put action to making it “we” and not “me”. How do we take the first steps to becoming community minded again instead of overly independent and isolated?

I do not think that I have all the answers or all the parts but I can see how some of it can work. So I only ask that you read these ideas with an open mind and expand on them if you are so inspired and share those thoughts with the world. Leave a comment. I respond to all legitimate comments. So moving onto the concepts first.

Community to my definition is this: ” A gathering of beings working in harmony and cooperation with one another.”

I see this as the third phase if you will because really it begins within yourself and extends to your immediate friends and families and thus it naturally evolves to a community. There are many communities large and small. It’s not the size that matters in this instance. The idea behind a “community” is to work together in cooperation. Now this sounds really great in theory and in an ideal world that would work. It takes a solid commitment of common thinking to make something like this work. For example. Terminology. People as wonderfully different as they are will look at something and have a totally different take on what it is they see. The same idea holds true when they describe things. How often have you said to another person, “that’s not what I meant!” So definition of terms is imperative to healthy communication.

Cooperation: We have learned over the course of the past few millennia to be competative not cooperative with one another. In this shift which is coming there needs to be a cooperation between ourselves and the world around us. Money or it’s concept no longer serves us. I do not have all of the answers but what I do know is that there is no good reason that there are people who are lacking anything in this world. There is enough resources on this planet to sustain 100 billion people if we all worked together to balance that out.

Courtesy/Manners/Respect- People in this age of “Me”, have forgotten some very basic things in life. That people are people for one and for another, that we should treat others the way we would wish to be treated. With kindness, compassion, understanding, tolerance, respect. Words like ” I’m sorry” or “Thank you” or ” Please” go a long ways. Remembering that coming at someone offensively will cause the reactions of defensive manuevers. That a man’s word is golden, if you say you are going to do something then follow through with it, and if something should come up then communicate that with the person you made the promise to.

Communication: Talking, Texting, Writing letters, Computers, Telephones, Smoke signals. Throughout time man has found many creative ways to communicate what is in one’s head. From hieroglyphs to artwork of all kinds and music and story telling and tapestry to architecture and technology. We have found many ways to communicate with each other because we as human beings are communal creatures. We are social. We enjoy the interaction with others around us. We have lost the gift of mind reading which was our original forms of communication. We lost that ability when we fell into the third dimension. As part of the awakening and remembering, this gift is slowly being restored. Thus the words of Christ, “And the darkness shall come to the light, there will be no more secrets, no more lies…” because if we can read each other’s thoughts we have no way or place to “hide” anything. That is an illusion.

To live as two individuals, loving unconditionally in the present moment and working toward a common good is not an easy combination to find. There is a fine balance in inter-dependence. When you are in a partnership, the advantages are that you are not alone, if one falls short in an area the other can assist in making that up with their strengths. This is different then two people as one. We all have our paths and lessons in life. To release judgments and expectations can be a challenge for many. To release the need to control anything is also a challenge for most people. We do not realize how often we come from a place of needing to control people and situations. We must become cognoscente of these times when we are falling into emotional reactions and old programming. It is helpful if you are involved with another who is of like mind so that you may help each other in the recognition of when you are playing the old tapes. The old saying of ” You are the company you keep” holds some truth to it. For what you surround yourself with or feed into your mind is what is in your heart and eventually comes out of the mouth and it feeds like a perpetual circle. So the way to break free from this cycle is to change the response and change the environment and change the input in general. Surround yourself with things that are going to help you achieve your goal of peace and tranquility on a constant basis. Surrounding yourself with positive people is a start. Listening to soothing music instead of angry music is another place that we can change what we feed our brain. These are all things to help us remember that we are whole and secure within our freedom and do not require dependence but choose to be engaged in an inter-dependent , inter-active relationship.

When I first started to think about this whole idea, I went through the list of friends I had in my life. I really got honest about what it was I was gaining from having these people in my life. How have they served me and were there any there who didn’t serve me. I also had to make a decision about what was a friend to me. Applying the terminology again. I had determined that most of the people in my life were in fact NOT friends, but more acquaintances and business associates. That was a rude awakening for me. I had found that I was being a friend and giving more in the relationships then I was receiving and as a result I found that I was getting drained in my energies on a daily basis. When I made the choice to no longer allow the imbalances to take place, those people were taken out of my life, either by my own hand or by circumstance. I also had to work it as I have said earlier in this article, to just let things and people be what they are.

Here is an example. I recently had a guest who had forgotten to mark their appearance on our show, they subsequently didn’t make the appearance. Now, most people would have been hurt or insulted or upset, and I have to admit that I too would have been counted among those people a year ago. Instead my new reaction now was that all things happen for a reason and there are no accidents. This person had some place else to be and that was totally ok and things worked out in the end and so no harm no foul. This left both people feeling as if it was a win win situation. By choosing a different reaction, the response could have left a much more destructive and negative taste in both mouths. But by understanding that things happen, mistakes can be made and that it all works out in the end as it should anyway, to have that total faith that it will all be ok and that it is meant to be. Even when things do not work out in the way we had hoped it is usually for the better.

Not holding expectations on other people or their actions. Again the need to control. If you limit the universe in outcomes or if you place expectation then you are setting yourself up for instant disappointment. If you just go with the flow and not attach the outcome it usually works out better then you expected in your mind.This is much easier in theory then in practice. It takes great conscious effort to allow others to be and to BE yourself. To detach from the emotional body and to control the thoughts and to come from a place of peace. Too often we give too much of ourselves and things in relationships become unbalanced. There needs to be an exchange of energy on some level in a dualistic reality. In the oneness all just IS.

Can human beings achieve inter-dependence? Hard to say. I believe I have seen couples do this on occasion. To be independent, lead independent lives, but still be together. As ” The Profit” states. Like two pillars holding things up, but standing separately, both eat bread but not of the same loaf. To find that balance where two can be in sanctuary and not in a place of beholden or fear. I believe that we have to come to a place of humility and a willingness to work with others in realizing that many hands make less work, but all parties must be willing to do their part. One’s input doesn’t have to be the same work, but a portion of it.

Some interesting musings on inter-dependence and partnerships. What are your thoughts?

Until next time, in Love n Light and Oneness of Heart,

xoxo

Kimberly


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Greetings and Salutations! One and All! Please be sure to join us tonight for Mary Lou Acimovic who has written a book called Mild Traumatic Brain Injury: The Guidebook, and will be discussing the topic of brain injuries and how they affect our lives. Over 1 million people are affected by this condition each year. Tune in Tuesday 9pm MST blogtalkradio.com/illuminationsoflight !!!

Mary Lou Acimovic has been a practicing speech pathologist for 32 years.  She obtained a Masters Degree in Speech Pathology and Audiology from the University of Colorado.  She is certified in biofeedback (Senior Fellow status) and neurofeedback by the Biofeedback Society of America.  For the past 24 years, she has specialized in the evaluation and treatment of mild traumatic brain injury  She served as the director of the Brain Injury Program at the Mapleton Center for Rehabilitation in Boulder, Colorado and participated in the development of one of the first comprehensive programs in the nation specifically for the treatment of mild traumatic brain injury.  Currently she is in private practice in Boulder.

Ms. Acimovic serves on the Governor’s Brain Injury Advisory Board and advocates for patients’ rights.  She has presented regionally and nationally and has published articles on topics related to mild traumatic brain injury.

Mary Lou is truly a lady who knows her stuff, and you will be shocked and enlightened when this show is done! There are so many people who are afflicted with the conditions we are going to discuss, especially our service men and women! You owe it to yourself to find out more about this condition and who it affects and how, what can be done about it, and how can we be supportive of those who are suffering from it! Be sure to tune this is a show you will NOT want to miss!

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