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Posts Tagged ‘depression’

Our Own Petitelion Has Some Wisdom About How To Deal With Loneliness!!!

 By: Lianna Giovannoni

      It is highly improbable that anyone ever would decide to wake up one morning and declare to the universe to God “Let there be loneliness! Please God bless with the miracle of loneliness or ask for loneliness as they wish upon a star! Loneliness is not an item on anybodies “bucket list”( things they want to experience before they die) No loneliness is not one of those things that people find and are willing to die for or take an oath for ,devote their lives to. It is never included in a small child’s silent prayer before bedtime. There are no monuments, walls, plaques, etc. that have been erected in honor of loneliness, no encouraging or patriotic or devoted slogans for loneliness(Give me Loneliness or give me Death!LOL).Loneliness is relegated to stories and poems and those are referred to as tragedies or tragic poems.(Dictionary meaning: a medieval narrative poem or tale typically describing downfall of a someone. or a story,poem or play that ends in some misfortune., a serious drama typically describing a conflict between the protagonist and a superior force (as destiny) and having a sorrowful or disastrous conclusion that elicits pity or terror , the literary genre of tragic dramas, a disastrous event ( calamity misfortune). Yes, there are poems and stories etc. that use lonely or loneliness to describe something like the look of a tree or the sound of bird, like ” the only thing on this remote mountain were just clouds and lonely pines, or the only thing that could be heard in the dark was the lonely call of the owl”. The use of lonely or loneliness as a descriptor is probably one of it’s most positive attributes.

     Loneliness is worse than sad. Sad is an integer to the formula of loneliness, such as sad+(bleakness/desolate/alone)= loneliness or sadness x 2=loneliness….in other words lonely has sad in it. It is a darkness that eats you from the inside out.

     Alone is not lonely…Alone just means that you do not have company. Whereas lonely is an constant ache of absence, one that even if you are surrounded by people you feel isolated, alone, bleak, desolate, imprisoned by some invisible wall. Loneliness lays dormant in everyone of us waiting for the right catalyst to wake it up and begin to thrive and grow. There are an infinite amount of catalysts out there, as many as their are feeling creatures and beings in the universe. No one or no living feeling, thinking, being or creature is immune. Although some seem not to suffer from it’s grip as much but they do not have a complete immunity. I’ve even seen pets express loneliness and sorrow, like when on owner dies or when another of the household animals die or leave. I, personally watched with my pets this , we had a male and a female Siamese cats that were pretty much raised together, and when the slightly older male passed away,the female literally cried, would not eat, and even pulled out big patches of her own fur out. She would go each day for weeks to each of the heat register looking for him (for the last 3 years or so of the male cat Robert had a touch of arthritis and would lay on those to loosen his stiff muscles in the morning or when it was very cold weather) she would look for him and she would see he was not there, she would look up at me with such a sadness in her eyes and in her body language and she would let a sad wail that sounded almost like a young woman crying out in loneliness, despair. It was heart wrenching, she would not let anyone console her or touch her.

     Loneliness can not only come from loosing someone thru death, or absence but from a perception that no one can understand or relate to you or that you don’t fit in for some perceived belief or story that you told yourself that somehow you are different or less than and that no one is there that wants or would desire to share life with you experiencing all of life’s ups and downs, no one to share the joys and sorrows, no one that would or could understand you or would share or care the same opinion as to what you consider significant. That there would no one to make memories with that you can share together later no one to enjoy the little things in life with. Sometimes when there is a loss of a person you life such as a life partner, husband/wife or a best friend that you shared all of those things with for a long time, when they are no longer in your life due to death or a breakup because of that loss and the grief that comes from that it may seem to you that you will never be able to find anyone to fill that space in life the void left from those kinds of loss can create such a deep grief that it creates a wall of despair and an over the top feeling alone. Because of that deep loss because of the grief a very pervasive and unique type of loneliness ensues and nothing or no one will be able to change that sense of aloneness the grief of the loss the darkness the sadness that is gripping you, except for going thru your grieving process and the healing effect of time.

     Loneliness can also awaken and grow when you feel so different from those around you that you convince yourself to believe that there will never be anyone for you. You can experience and create a prison of loneliness when you perceive that an impenetrable barrier exists between you and everyone else due to language and/or cultural differences or you moved to a new area where you don’t know anyone or if you suddenly get ill or disabled or anything that you perceive as a barrier between you and other people.

     First of all like I mentioned before, alone is not lonely. A lot of times, alone is what is preferred,wanted and sometimes what is needed. It is important to be comfortable with your own company and to be confident that you are a complete whole individual rather than feeling that you are not enough or that you are incomplete. Sometimes alone is necessary for your mental and/or physical well being. Alone gives us the best way to get perspective for yourself to gain clarity on life decisions , be alone with your thoughts gives us time to meditate, process things or events, gives the opportunity to quiet the chatter of your conscious mind to reduce stress, connect with your higher self or with the Higher power, to ground yourself,or just to have sometime to not be distracted or influenced by others to just to get to know your true nature without any input from others.

     Back to lonely now….First of all I want to say “YOU ARE NOT YOUR EMOTIONS YOU ARE NOT YOUR STORY! AND ALWAYS BE PRESENT!”. Having made those statements I want you to understand that I will be clarifying those shortly, so just keep them in your mind to the side. It will come together just bear with me thank you. What I am about to say can be applied to any emotional response but we are discussing lonely at the moment so if you find yourself asking the question “what about sad, or anxious just substitute the appropriate word for the word lonely okay? So here goes nothing!! Lonely is an emotion that you tied to the story you told yourself or bought into from someone else that your ego told to respond with to with the current situation that you seem to be experiencing at the present time. If we realize before you respond to the ego’s advice that all the emotions is just a list of emotional responses that you have available to choose from as the emotional response to the situations that you perceive you are experiencing as you move thru each moment in your life. Yes Virginia “YOU CHOOSE WHAT EMOTION YOU WANT TO FEEL in response to your perception of the reality of the situation that you are experiencing ” not the other way around. I know right now most of you are saying to yourself (I can’t help what I feel, I control what I feel they just happen, they just are! Yes, I know it may seem that way, because most of us for most of our lives our ego and all the other egos that you have been around throughout your life from the time of your birth, the ones you learned from and emulated as you were growing up have led you to believe (thru no fault of their own) and reinforced over and over one of the great human untruth list is that “We are at the mercy of our emotions” That they own you, they are calling the shots as to your emotional responses. Well guess what? That is the human ego’s ploy to get you to keep you believing that it is real so it can continue to exist and be in control keep you trapped by fear which creates resistance to soul expansion and to create a prison, to put a barrier to blind you to the truth so to speak and continue to buy into the falsehood, the false perception of the reality of your true nature, to state that plainly… to continue the illusion of “That you are at the mercy of your emotions and the story you tied them to, that you don’t have a choice in the matter”! Now, I’m not saying that people and situations, and old programs that you bought into for one reason or another don’t make it hard to choose a more positive emotional response. Let me just briefly give you a side note to this. I want you to understand that with the aforementioned “old programs that you bought into” It is nobody’s fault that you bought into that there was some wrong doing or error in discernment or that you are “stupid and should have known better!”, that is not it at all. It is just one of those human challenges that all of face so that we learn and grow and evolve. It is built into the system of the human process of growth. No one is exempt, no one has the knack or talent to not buy into old programming, because when you bought into them they were necessary for your survival at the moment but once they are loaded onto your hard drive it is difficult to know when or to remember to delete them. Know this “EVERYONE IS CHALLENGED BY THIS AND HAS THE SAME DIFFICULTY AS YOU IT IS JUST PART OF LIFE!” so “DON’T BEAT YOURSELF UP FOR IT PLEASE”!!!! It is just one of those things that is a standard catalysts for all beings to challenge us to learn and adjust and change things in the present so that we can have the opportunity to expand our souls, evolve as spiritual beings having a human experience. Bottom line,it is just part of life!Just like when we grew to adults from being children the average person’s bones lengthen and grow larger, and in puberty we get hair in places that we didn’t have as children, it is just part of becoming, well so is the program buying into thing. Again you are not your story nor are you your emotions. Anyone who tries to tell you or convince differently ….This is what I have to say to them….QUACK! Yes quack! Check this out, your emotions are yours! Yes folks, those puppies are yours to command! Yes, you too can choose what to feel as a response to stuff! Like I said before things, situations and people may make it more difficult to choose a positive emotional response, but with some effort and practice you can do it. As with anything that you learn, especially when it comes to changing old habits, old programs that we have used forever that really in the present do not serve us anymore it takes a minute to become successful at right away. Be patient with yourself do your best to remember to make the effort to slow yourself down, take a breath and as you do this stop the auto pilot decision making process and stop and take the time to think and ask yourself,”How can I stay in the present and choose a best emotional response for what I am truly experiencing now?…not based on what you responded to a similar story from your past that ego is trying to convince you still are but, on who you truly are from you true nature, from your high self, now in this present moment.With the intent of doing it for the highest good for yourself and the highest good of all. It does get easier as you go along and each time you remember to do this the closer you come to do it effortlessly and with a 100% success rate, and really you will be surprised that it will happen easier and quicker than you think! You may be asking yourself,” well how does this apply to loneliness? ” well, I will tell you. When you sense it creeping in and ego begins it’s existence saving dance running it’s jib in your head, trying to convince you to buy into it’s sales pitch. Take the time to look at the story or thought processes or beliefs behind why you are leaning towards choosing lonely as your emotional response, why this emotion is tied to the story why the ego is trying to convince you that this is the response that you need so desperately(from ego’s perspective) to respond with, why this present situation triggered ego to know it is time to get it’s licks in, why ego needs you to respond this way, what is ego’s motive and how this particular? response helps ego to maintain it’s illusionary existence? Ego is like when you were a kid and you had an imaginary friend that keeps sabotaging and causing trouble and because no one else can see them you get blamed for it’s pervasive behavior. Ego like the imaginary friend is forever trying to convince you that it is real, like Pinocchio before the fairy godmother got to him-he is not real and never will be , he will only able to fool you into thinking it is real and that you are the puppet! Well it is time to take back your throne be the ruler of your reality! It is time to pinch yourself and wake up and see that you aren’t the puppet and ego the puppeteer that you are the master puppeteer and ego is the wooden puppet! You are the creator and the master and ruler of your emotions and ego, they are to do your bidding, they are your subjects and not subject to them! When you are suffering with loneliness or that the situation that you are participating in is one that perhaps the all time best scenario for loneliness to thrive and grow and in the present moment you are not able to see a way out from your current perspective reality, that there could no other choice for you. Stop and without hesitation but with complete faith that no matter what things seem like it is truly an illusion do not believe it for one second!!!!!Tell loneliness to get out of town take a long walk off a short pier, take a hike! Turn and face it and see that it is just an illusion. Find your voice… use your imagination and create for yourself a much better reality for yourself by pulling yourself out of the illusion and create the new true perception of reality in your mind. Realize that emotions and stories come and go. Nothing stays the same, things change all the time, nothing is static. Even if it seems to you that it is the lowest worst moment of loneliness of sadness in the world and that is no way out of it could never ever change…Stop, breath, look at the story behind all of that fear, all the loneliness that you tied to that story, or belief/thoughts that aren’t you , are not in the present not your true nature, just not real and pull yourself out of your illusionary perspective and change your perspective to one that serves you better in this present moment, even if it is to incorporate this thought, It won’t be like this forever it will change because nothing is static. Maybe Close your eyes and hold on to that little bit and release the emotion(loneliness) as the emotional response to the present perspective of the situation . Say out loud if you want or just think it, it works either way, it is your coloring book your crayons, I Release it , let it go – then look at some other more positive way to perceive the situation as to why you are experiencing this based purely in the present moment from your true highest self change it to perhaps as an example: Maybe if I see this as something as this situation isn’t about choosing this to be bad but rather a gift of the opportunity to find a better way see this situation as a plus rather than a negative, an opportunity to gain than a loss, that it is for you not against you. you could change this into you have the opportunity to become a hero and to receive blessings by sacrificing and experiencing a little discomfort so that someone else will get an opportunity to get the chance to expand their soul their skill sets raise their vibration by getting a chance at to allow someone their chance to discern and choose to be compassionate, to recognize that one of their own needs their help , to motivate them to learn to be a better expression of God having a human experience, by motivating them to choose to become a more loving kind person, awaken them to their true nature, more of a true human being and discern and choose love and compassion recognize it is the time to give and transform themselves and receive blessings and grace which raises their vibration which raises the vibration of all humans. For your small sacrifice you not only do you get to be a hero and give someone a chance to receive blessings you get the chance to raise the whole humanity but you get to receive blessings and grace and to raise your self up which also does the same for all. So the point is look how much can be accomplished, look at the scope of the effect of just a small change in the way you choose to see things, change your perception of reality and your emotional response to things. It is so a win win win win situation for such a small amount of effort that it is just mind boggling for me. What a small thing to have to experience or that you have to put effort to accomplish so much.

So by changing in ways like this, taking that pause that moment, to slow down take that breath and adjust your perception of reality, let the old programming that no longer serves you go and eliminate that the loneliness story is tied to and choose a more positive emotional response to the present situation you become a big hero and everyone gets blessings.

     There are many surface ways to help you to accomplish these things to help with the changing your perceptions of reality of situations that you are experiencing with loneliness and it’s fertile ground for growth. Yes, surface ways, like joining a class that improves you, your body, your mind like yoga, or a class at your local junior college or something that you would like to see if it is something you might be interested in, there are many avenues for this such as local city town or rural community centers that offer adult classes at night or weekends etc. for things like arts and crafts, exercise, or dance, music, Internet and computer, parenting, golf, yoga and so on. These are good ways to break down some of the perceived barriers and to connect and meet people with similar interests. This a good way for humans to help prevent that fertile ground for loneliness. Some other surface ways are to join a spiritual group, or join a church or religious group of your own choice and persuasion, or create your own group of your choosing such as rock hunting, paranormal group, science, book reading, or whatever subject matter that floats your boat because I guarantee you aren’t alone in your interests. If you are sure how to find those people for the group[ you want to create, here are some tried and true suggestions for that issue. Advertise on your local bulletin boards in your local grocery stores etc, community centers, church and meeting centers, community colleges and adult education centers, freebie newspapers , or on the Internet sites like Facebook and Twitter or Crisis type sites. Volunteer for various charities in your community. If language is a barrier go to your local community centers and adult education centers or churches or spiritual centers and take a class in the pertinent language and from there you will find people with similar language barriers as you. If it is cultural thing, learn about the culture that you are living in, expand your being with knowledge and truth and with the knowledge you can understanding and release the fear and encourage tolerance in yourself and others or teach others about the truth of your culture which also helps others to release ignorance and fear and allows tolerance and compassion an understanding to grow. This not only helps to ward off the loneliness thing but it raises the vibrations for all. If you are disabled or are not able to go out and about, create a group that again is something that you are interested in or create a social network group of disabled or inside bound people or if you are elderly and are homebound etc. this social network group is applicable also, you can connect thru phone, or the Internet or something like Skype which is free thru the computer and you can have several people be able to meet virtually without ever leaving there residences. If you are able to each get an Internet video cameras for your computers you can actually see each other. Nowadays those kinds of things are fairly inexpensive and there are various federal, state and local programs that could help you. Don’t give up if you want to help yourself to choose something more positive this is a real good tried and true way to begin that process.When we take the initiative and realize we are the creators of our realities and do these little things it reaffirms to the universe what you want and need it is like an active prayer, it reaches into the Creator’s toy box and pulls out and brings to you the thing you want that is for highest good which with that intent brings the highest good of all. It brings the real magic that is in us by our birthright as the children of God. What it does, to put it another way, it allows you to connect and have the opportunity to find and share with you fellow human beings common interests and it changes the parameters of the situation and brings in the fertile ground for growth for the positive, breaks down your perception that there are barriers and replaces the barriers with clear smooth avenues to accomplish what just recently you perceived as impossible. This will make the growth of the possibility of loneliness less of a possibility to happen. I’m not saying it will eliminate it altogether at this moment of our existence but it will take it from a high and impossible to get over mountain to in the least a small hill that you face and if enough of us take this perspective it will a some point become a mere speed bump. It is however a step closer for all of us one day to make something that has been highly improbable to eliminate from the human experience to be eliminated within the human experience. All it takes is one person to tell or show one person and it will catch on and once again you can know that YOU ARE A HERO!

      So to recap for you, “You are not your story nor are you your emotions. Become aware and notice the story, the thoughts, the beliefs, the perception of reality that loneliness (or any negative emotions) that you have tied to those stories or beliefs. Release it. Take the moment to pause and take a breath ,and stop and think and decide and become aware change your perception of the reality of the situation, be present and choose the best positive emotional response ( and the list of all the positive is available for you to choose all the time with no exceptions!) based on who you truly are in the present moment. Play with them and discern the best one that serves you highest good and the highest good of all. Then congratulations are in order because you are now on the best and fastest road to becoming a hero in your own right to making loneliness(and if you apply that mind set to sad, despair, etc it will do the same for those) all those painful soul expanding and suffering causing catalyst for humanity evolving cease to exist in this current human experience(at minimize them enough that they are speed bumps instead of impossible to climb over mountains). For sure it is a fact it help you when it is your turn to experience those painful moments, you will be able to move thru them with the greatest of ease and grace and receive blessings for yourself and all humanity.

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Greetings to one and all!  In this life we basically live in two worlds(multidimensionality aside) outer world and inner world . One is very obvious, just look around you. Notice the familiarity of it how well known they are. Notice that you can put a name to everything trees, grass, hills, people, sky, buildings, cars , also notice you can say what each thing is, for ,  their cost, how long they last , who owns them, how attractive they are how unappealing they are, what happens at the end of their days.Look at the people , observe how you can categorize them men, women, children, old, young, tall, short, friends, strangers, familiar, unfamiliar some you can even name them, dark haired, light haired . well dressed, groomed, casual, scruffy.   Notice how easily they fall into categories, assume labels become understandable almost predictable. The world of your basic five senses is for the most part, clear, comprehensible one, full of sights sounds, tastes , smells and sensations that all define for most of us on the most basic of levels what it means to be alive.

The inner world is the other world , equally at times vivid and integral on a basic level what it means to be alive, but, it is for the most us not as easily described or understood. This inner world of thoughts, emotions, imagination, dreams and the mystery being that is always with you that you can’t see in this inner world, the one that sees both worlds, observes everything you do, think, imagine and dream, every decision, every story every pause, everything on every level. From time to time even though  this person is always with you and always observes both your inner and outer worlds, we forget their existence like when we are fast sleep, or comatose(LOL), are absorbed in a task such as reading a real good book, or painting  or drawing a picture or creating artwork or something that takes all our focus  , watching an all absorbing movie, or listening to a moving story or piece of music or speech. This mystery person always re-emerges the moment we begin to think our own thoughts once more or when we wake up from sleeping or the coma (again LOL!) when we come to ourselves again. This mystery being if you haven’t guessed yet is (drum roll please!) our very individually assigned the one the only “I” ,” the me”,  the”self”,  “the mind”, the”numero uno”.
Think about it , how seldom do we stop and reflect upon the existence this elusive “I” , “the me” . Who is this person? Where is this person going ? Undoubtedly this person is experiencing life, but what actually is life, this strange, weird, scary,frustrating, at times infuriating, magical, surprising, joyful, wondrous, invigorating, safe, simple, complicated, long, short, confusing, clear thing which expresses itself through us, and for most of  the time balances us very uneasily between joy, happiness, contentment, clarity and safe and sadness, angry, confusion, fearful. What is it for? Does it have a purpose and if it does what is it? Can we know it, understand it? Can we know our role in it? The more we think and ponder these questions, the more we become aware that to answer the first of them is to answer all the rest as well. Because to know who we are is also to know where we came from and where we are going, and to know what life is and what, if anything is it for , knowing who we are  we will know what our role is or how we fit into it. Each one of these questions boil down to the one eternal question that has been asked since humans began , “Who am I?”  This eternal question from which all other existential questions come from, and on which they depend on for their meaning and importance. Since the dawn of our existence we have pondered this basic question of “Who am I?” and all of its subsequent variations and periodically some strange individual  appears and seems to know the answer , their answer though is usually strange or sort of cryptic, extremely metaphor like , they answer symbolically, or puzzle, riddle or parable like. then they give us an enigmatic set of techniques or practices through which we can gain the answer and  then when we ask for clarification on what they say or what the techniques or practices are for with regards to answering “who am I?”  then they seem to always respond by  implying  or eluding to, with a very confident  clear and concise answer of , that we can find the clarity that we keep trying to glean from them or  that we try and outright demand or threaten them for (in some cases kill them to get) that we can find that clarification within our own self, that “the answers” are all within us. We are thus being told over and over from those strange individuals that have appeared from time to time, that the answer to the eternal question and their subsequent variations of “Who am I?” is not a  formula that can be just handed to us by somebody else but a direct personal experience. It is very individual in nature. When you come to think about it what else could the answer possibly be, since it is we ourselves who are what we are.
Having said this, we have established that we have a very good understanding, familiarity with the outer world, and a lot more reference materials and education on the outer world as opposed to knowing or understanding of the inner world of thoughts , dreams, imagination, memories, emotions and the “I”, the “me” the self, the mind we have reference materials most of them come from other individual “I’s” other individual self’s which again like the answers from those strange ones can be guide line like but is lacking their completeness for the individual minds they can give you generalities  which is helpful to answering the question but since the answer to the eternal question is completely individual the reference material or practices have to be a helpful starting point for the answer but to completely answer it those starting points have to be customized to the individual by the individual . Although you may think that the question will never come up for you but, I am here to tell you that on some level in one of its millions of variations you will at least ponder it at least once. Really you can trust me on that, really you can!
Now that I have rambled on you are probably asking yourself  “,what the heck is this all about? What is her point?”  Where is she going with?”, and I say to those questions ….They are extremely valid!   What my point is that if you should want to know the answer to the eternal question and all of it’s variations and any subsequent related inquires that you might have along with changing or healing any part of who you are right now or improve add to who you are, which you  would have to know who you are first in order to change heal improve add to who you are. The answer that is tried and true and proven and the only real way that any one has been able to find is MEDITATION! MEDITATION!MEDITATION!.  Don’t get upset I heard that heavy sigh loud woe so please Before you walk away give me a chance please to explain just a couple things that you maybe aren’t realizing about meditation that there are as many ways to meditate as there are answers to the eternal questions!!!!! Their are as many ways to meditate as their are and have been people!!!!! There many books pamphlets, articles web sites, etc etc. that show us meditation and the various modalities of meditation but like answers to THE QUESTION they will always have to be customized to you by you!!  Not only will you be able to get clarification and some answers there is so much more that it can accomplish. I like to say that there are a billion reasons to meditate and not a single reason not to !!! I didn’t say that you might just find what variation works for you that you are comfortable with that takes care of what you need and that there are never difficulties in trusting it . What I said is there is not a single reason not to. It is about desire and perseverance. Ask yourself would you like to experience life but never really know who  it was who experienced your Life? Think about it, like anythi ng it is a choice.  Go ahead weigh the pros and cons , what you stand to gain  having the opportunity of your lifetime to gain all the possibilities and abilities that YOU are as opposed to knowing a very small  and limited view of you and your possibilities and abilities available to you to not know who experienced your life, in my mind  really the effort is way worth it..
The following will be one way in the billion ways to meditate that you can do that I found and many, many others found worked very well and can be used to accomplish a lot  and to understand and clarify and heal and know you. Remember the option is always there to tweak and adjust, customize for you.
I have found that the use and various different ways that breath can be used with meditation is very significant and enhances the benefits of meditation and in many instances is quite helpful in accomplishing what your goal is , what you it is that this particular form of meditation that you chose you felt would be for you. Breath work is always  a good thing both mentally and physically. You can’t live without breathing!!!  For those of you who have meditated for a long time you know what parts of this you know well . But the rest of this meditation just please roll with me people !!! ;-) The following includes breath work along with meditation, don’t worry it is not complicated you can do it , you do it all the time !!! LOL! First find a place where you won’t be distracted or disturb ed by phones, T. V. kids, dogs etc. (note: after you get the hang of it and that is an individual thing, you will be able to meditate with a few of the distractions, just like anything the longer you do it the more it becomes part of you, automatic in a way)  Wear comfortable clothes nothing restrictive you don’t want to be distracted because you can’t breath or something is pinching etc., get comfortable either sitting with your feel flat on the floor or laying with your legs out in front and just left to fall to the sides just let them just naturally relax. Have your back  completely supported. If this position makes it difficult to stay awake try the sitting position. You want to relax not fall asleep, where you are going is somewhere in between. For my tech’s out there It is called Theta state that your brain enters into.  Once you are comfortable etc. I like to pick a general subject of something that you are wanting work on in yoursel f such as fear ,anger ,sadness, frustration , you get the idea. Then after you’ve picked this general subject and what the area it of you or your life  then find a saying,  a phrase. a word that is a opposite energy or vibration of your subject such as courage, safe or joy ,forgiveness, contentment, abundance, and keep that positive focus on that opposite vibration, you can repeat to yourself if you like but just take a moment and hold that within you and focus on a clear picture of how you would like it to be with regards to the issue hold the energy. Holding the opposite positive vibration to your issue it cancels it within your subconscious and rewrites old programming that is no longer working for you. It is not something that will happen the first time it will happen after a time, they say it approximately 21 days to change behaviors, note the word approximately it can happen sooner it can happen later , but it will work. It will depend a lot on you and findin g the niche that works for you. Most likely it took you a while to acquire the behavior or the programming has been running for awhile before it was recognized it wasn’t working. it may take a moment to change it.
Now that you have your positive mind set close your eyes place your hands on your lap either palms up or down or facing each other just as long they are comfortable and not tensing. Now I want you to find the center of your head, find the top of your ears and draw an imaginary line from both sides of your head from the top of your ears and where they meet at the top of your head is the center of your head straight down to the center inside your head. Tech note this is where your Pineal gland is in your brain, and this is where they believe your imagination, psychic abilities, metaphysical and religious experiences are enabled here on a physical plane your the  part of your body, brain the allows that ability flow thru and be experienced in this physical form. Once you have located that destination the breathing starts, take one deep breath thru your nose that starts in the lower part of your lungs your diaphragm and let the air com e in from the bottom of your lungs fill from there up  . Blow out thru your mouth opening your throat and your mouth as if  as if the large breath you just took of fresh air will go to every corner of you collect any stale or left over useless negativity and when you open up your mouth and throat and expel the breath it cleansing your inner life force, blow all of it out of you; once again using your diaphragm on the bottom to push it all out so that the next breath in will be unblocked by the sludge of the left over negativity, it is like cleaning and sterilizing that takes place between batches of beer in a brewery. The vats are cleared and clean so that when the next batch is put in it is not clogged or contaminated by the last process of fermentation. After that cleansing breath take another deep breath thru your nose but this time try and hold it in for 9-12 counts then blow out, do three of these breaths as you do them focus on relaxing your muscles in y our face , jaw , tongue ( let the tip of the tongue just touch the roof of your mouth) , neck , arms , shoulders, back, internal organs, buttock, thighs ,legs, feet, as you breath, and hold the breath and exhale feel all the tension and stress and worries etc just flow out of you like a plug being unplugged in the tub it just releases into the core of the earth to be recycled and transmuted to neutral energy to be used again and revitalize the universe and Mother Earth and creation, if you want you can get creative and imagine a drainpipe, or a chute that is attached to your first chakra and the pipe or whatever extends about 6 inches of out on both sides of your body and runs down to the core of earth which is a big molten ball  or pyramid whichever resonates for you ,of iron that uses and cleanses and transmutes the energy to neutral so that it can be used in a clean manner. It is not wasted or having a negative or  pervasive affect . It clear s the path and allows the positive energies to flow in and take your issue and change it unencumbered by obstruction. If you use this simple breath work as a sort of ritual every time you meditate it will become a trigger for your brain so that you are able to achieve that meditative state much easier, like Pavlov’s dogs, after a time even in a noisy room or distraction filled place you will be able to perhaps achieve that state of mind of meditation or at least give you the ability to bring those times where you are overwhelmed and your feelings are becoming overwhelming, your blood pressure rising, perhaps fear is coming in, frustration etc. this will trigger your body in such a way that you will have an easier time of keeping a handle on those feelings ,and it help  you  to feel and be in the drivers seat rather at the mercy of the overwhelming feelings the stress that may be coming up at the moment and it helps to release certain chemicals to help your bod y to cope with the stress much better so our discernment when comes to the choice of our reactions to the external stimulus, it helps us to cope and choose balance in the times we find our beings overwhelmed by life. Now that you’ve relaxed with the deep breathes ;the next breath just go back to your normal breathing in and out thru your nose, notice your breath how it feels as you draw it in , follow it down into your diaphragm imagine the breath as a golden cleansing revitalizing  and renewing healing light that as it flows in it spreads out throughout your whole body down your arms an legs fills your head, every cell infused and surrounded by this clean vibrant life force charging every fiber and cell. Feel the tingles flow in as you follow the breath of life to the various parts of your body allow your simple act of breathing to help you to remove and clear any stuck energies or negative influences problems, obstructions let it renew and reset your inner being the real you with the outer you the mechanism that holds us and allows us all a spiritual beings experiencing being human to balance ourselves between the left and the right sides of our brains so that we return to our default positions where we function at our optimum. We become grounded and balance so we can see clearly where the issues are and remove and replace that which is no longer working for us for the highest good. Now I want you to imagine either steps that either you walk from the front of your head where you have been doing your preparation for your journey and feel the feeling of moving up and back to the center of your head, some use a tunnel that goes there other steps, escalators myself I think of Willie Wonka and his wonkavator where it was an elevator that can travel up, down, sideways, long ways, back, forward as you move back notice where you feel that movement in your body like when going up in an elevator, even if you don’t know by seeing with your eye s you still know whether you are traveling up or down , for me I get the feeling in my chest in the center. Notice that feeling and it for me is an affirmation that my visualization is doing the trick , when you realize that you can “know” that you can move your being to different places internally it opens up many possibilities such as if I can do it within and the physical reality of your body structure does not prevent movement then logically neither could the outer layer that separates the  inner and outer worlds. (This is just something to ponder.). Now that you’ve arrived to the center of your head with your positive energy or affirmation it is time to decorate your safe place. Yes, safe place! This a place you can go to that you are always safe and protected, nothing or no one can get in unless you want it there unless you invite it or them. This is the home base of  the control room whatever you would like to call it, where the high self hangs, the “I” goes when it is in default optimum position. This space can look or be decorated any way you want, it can be a luxurious room full of pillows or it can be a hammock under the palm trees next to a water fall or it could be something out of a magical fantasy, it is your “I” place the place of safety and healing it is the place where you merge the inner with the outer, a place of wholeness a place where you become the best expression of the divine expressing it self, centered, grounded, knowing, balanced , a place that we can find or ask for the clarity and/ healing. From this perspective we can look down thru the chakra’s, the dimensions of the body and look where perhaps requires clearing of blockages or where negative energy has attached and needs to be removed, this the place to release the positive energy or affirmation that you focused on before we started our journey that you brought with you this the place that you can release that positive vibration the one that carries the opposite peaks and valleys in it’s vibration to the negative vibration that the issue that you want cancel out or rewrite the program that no longer is for your highest good or the highest good of others. Take that positive vibration release it to flow throughout you entire being after it flows out thru every cell in your body imagine it flowing out your hands and finger tips and out the top of your head like a water fountain and wash over your body and aura and as it does see it clear all the sludge in and thru your aura and outer body as well as inner , see it repair and fortify any holes or dark murky spots in your aura and inner being, (note*if it helps for visualization purposes put a color or “look” to this positive energy that you have released such as I like to see it a clear bright sparkling fluid that have a gold and silver sparkles shimmering thru it sometimes I change the color of the sparkles , I use my intuition or feeling to determine its color or look, find what resonates with you at the moment, there is right or wrong to how it looks it is up to your own imagination, whatever you feel you want it to look like it is yours so it will do it this is your place .) For those of you that have been practicing meditation , this particular type of meditation even though it seems very simplistic or basic , it is but it is very powerful and there are many ways this can be used from this perspective there are many higher levels of meditation that can enhanced from this perspective. It is a good and easy way to approach meditation it allows us to be creative and gives us the choice to be active or passive. The universe does work very well with simplicity and visualization . We are bombarded with so many complicated and intense practices and situations in every day life that this very simple meditation practice helps us to release the misconception that it is difficult to connect with ourselves like only the elite with years of practice and devotion can or are deserving of the tools that we were created with. Understand this we don’t need to earn anything to use what is already ours, Remember “ask and you shall receive” , Keep it simple ; don’t get me wrong all those ancient practices are wonderful but this is not only very effective it’s fun and most people do not have the resources or the time to go through years of study. Most people that really could use meditative practices the most that need to be able to become whole are people that are not able to process or learn the more complicated forms those who simply do not have the time to do the more intricate practices or techniques. Surprisingly enough I have been keeping track of the success of this form as opposed to the more complicated forms and this way really holds it’s own it is as effective besides that it gives you the basic tools to allow those who perhaps the more intricate techniques or practices are too much or see m to be overwhelming and perhaps may make someone feel turned off from meditation because its seems to complicated for them, this particular type is something that they can feel comfortable with due to simplistic structure. Remember there much beauty and strength to simplicity. Less obstructions easier to access less chance for us to get in our own way. Even after all these years of practicing meditation and its many forms many modalities I still find this simplistic elegant creative straight up form quite useful and effective and I use it quite often. There are many options that you can use to build upon this type to add to it , direct it to for more specific goals, more room to customize to make it individualized.
Now back to the process, after release of the positive energy sit for awhile in your space and play with it if you like change it around, redecorate if you want. Sometimes you may want to get in there and clean it out it is up to you , listen to yourself your gut only you can decide what you need or want. When you are ready beginning to come back slowly by moving your fingers hands and feet and move up then slowly open your eyes and come back to the here and now, shake your arms get the blood going . Thank the higher powers or the universe and take a deep breath like you did with the beginning with the cleansing breath, then call all the energy back that you left past present and future see it as filling up a bucket full and when it is full pull the cord and feel it dump into the top of your head and flow down to your toes and down to the tips of your finghers and feel it fill you up and recharge, it is like filling your gas tank so that you are good to go , You’ve just had a tune up an oil change and now a full tank you are ready for life!! I hope that this has touched and given encouragement to at  least one person to begin to meditate to make this something that you do regularly like brushing your teeth, washing etc. because it is as important to our well being as taking care of our bodies, Thank you for listening, Love and Light to you all,xox Lianna

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Greetings and Salutations! One and all! It really is amazing how when you begin to really live in the flow of the universe how things just become very synchronistic. Now this does not always mean that all outcomes will be as you want them as you envisioned them. Sometimes things come in ways that we least expect them.

For me, when we have to go through a radical acceptance of something which is outside of our control it is difficult at times to get back up on the horse. I have endured many blows or waves of change within the past two weeks. Almost all my messages from the universe have been related to how to move through the waves of sadness and to stay in the moment and find the happiness within. It has been a lot of hard work on my part to do this. We so easily drift into the past or the future, but to stay exactly in the moment is difficult. This situation involved the deepest kind of pain, losing true love. Problem is only one of us felt that way apparently. So what do you do as your life shatters before you and everything you hold dear is ripped from your world?

Well, one of the techniques I have been trying out is to stop and become aware of my surroundings. Most emotions are triggered from a memory or a thought which is not actually in this moment. So by looking and really consciously noting what is around you can pull you outside of yourself long enough to move through the wave of emotion. Another thing I have been doing is trying to find laughter within my day. Watch a funny movie, read a funny joke, in my case come up with hysterical commercials. The more I stay focused on what my life is about and what I have going on in my world, the less I am thinking about him and what he is doing or thinking, is he hurting like me or has he turned off all emotion and will endure the pain later when it bubbles to the surface? I do not want to waste my day or my time thinking about that stuff, I have a child who is in crisis right now, and I have to move. A move that is not going to be just a down the street deal but pretty far away, looking to sell my belongings type of move. Some say that if you are running then you will still have to deal with it. Yes this is true, however, I have other factors to consider, money being one of them. My health being another of them. I have built up somewhat of a support system where I am however the rents in my area have skyrocketed and I can no longer afford where I am staying. A simple fact of life, the cost of living has increased and my income has decreased. So we are off to the next exciting leg of our adventure. The bottom line to all that is, I really do not have time to pine and drool over what has been lost or what I do not have in my life.

The fact of the matter is, I didn’t need him before I met him, I certainly do not need him now. Needs and desires are two different things. Just as love and partners are. Relationships require a certain amount of energy and effort and right now, I just do not have it to give anymore and apparently neither does he. I have my own health issues. He has his. I am trying to get my business resurrected from before a brain injury four years ago. That in and of itself is enough to keep my focus occupied. This person has his own issues. I still love him, that will never change, but I require my relationships to go both ways, he’s not able to achieve this at this time. I can wait yes, but really what for?? A man who cannot commit? Who cannot make up his mind that after three years he wants to be with me or not? I’m sorry I do not want to have to be someones shelter, counselor, mother figure or tell them how to be civil and polite and honest and loving, not my job to train a 45 year old how to be a real person. They will have to learn their way how.  I have a world to conquer people to help out there and there are six billion people on this planet, I will find someone who can deal with me, love me, work with me, encourage me and be respectful and kind to me always. I should not have to work 70% of the relationship and get 30% in return.That’s not a partnership that’s an imbalanced situation that had to give and who knows if it will change if this persons life changes in the future. I know they still love me, they just cannot handle me right now. Or themselves either for that matter. No ones fault, the fault doesn’t exist. Just is what is right now. Not time. So we both accept that. I’m sure that we will always love one another as we loved each other before we came into this life. I do hope someday he catches up with me. I pray that he does make the changes in his world someday for his sake. For his family’s sake.

The universe has been speaking loudly to change my thinking for everyone to change our thinking to NOW. Being in this moment of the present. The joy is there! Right there! Right now! Within you! Sadness lies in the past. In the memory. In the story of what the other person did to you! They did nothing except be themselves, how they are right now. Pick up the pieces. One at a time. Be aware of feeling the feelings but allow them to pass through like a breeze brushes past you standing outside. Love yourself and forgive yourself. For you are worthy. There is no fault. Only what is. Acceptance is where the struggle and the pain lie. The sooner that you come to a place of acceptance the sooner the suffering part stops. Doesn’t mean you have to like what is being handed to you, but it does mean that you have to deal with it and accept that it is how it is. That is where the stopping in the moment works, pulling your thinking out of the memories of the past or the  what could be if’s…..and get into what is actually around you. Look at things and study them, you will see that the moment or wave of emotion passes much more quickly and you can get into your right mind quick enough to pull out of it.

I do not have all the answers here, just that these are some of the techniques I use in my own world. In the day to day things that seem to happen whether or not I instigated them or not, some of it had to change in my world, it was no longer serving my desires or my needs, so it is with life, all about the change, and surfing those waves instead of being crushed by them. Not staying in the moments of sadness or emotional turmoil. If you want something to change, then change it and do your best to move forward in life.

It’s always sad to say goodbye, but in the native world you only say those words when someone passes onto the great spirit. They say farewell because we never know when our paths will cross again. So for now, this is where my head is, I will not have internet access for the next two days and this post will be the last for the moment. I will be writing still as I have nothing else to do but work on the various projects that I have going. So there will probably be several posts at once when i get access to the net again in a couple of days.

As it is I am in the coffee shop getting this posting out as we type. Life is funny. Full of synchronicities watch for them, they will point you to where your thinking should be.  Be well until next time! Love n Light and Blessings to you all. Kimberly

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Greetings and salutations one and all. Today I would like to focus on a very serious and growing problem with our young people today…. suicide, ptsd, bullying, and our schools.

There’s a lot of news in the headlines of late, how many people are flipping out for a multitude of reasons. I believe the magnetics has a lot to do with it. But too, so does our society.

One of the political banners I have carried over the years has been the issues within the schools. I have a special needs child who has fallen through the cracks of the system for years. If it had not been for my educating myself as to the laws and how their game is played, we would have never survived middle school!

I find it interesting that Mr. Obama is on the same track with the idea that too many of our children are dropping out of school and in extreme cases out of life. Teen suicide rates are up to an all time high right now. It is critical that we start getting in touch with our youth NOW! We need to get to the core issues of why this is happening before we an stop it, otherwise we are just treating symptoms, putting a bandaid on it and the main issues will recurring  until we deal with the core of the problem. Our children lack respect, they lack guidance because our generation doesn’t know what they are truly dealing with in these kids. How can we ask our children to display respect when most adults do not treat each other with respect? Even with our current president our adults are behaving in very hateful ways to each other, so really what do we expect from our children today ???


In the headlines just this month, a teacher walks on campus in Alabama and blows away several co workers before killing herself, a math teacher has to tackle a 35 year old gunman in Littleton, CO just last week, Boulder High had a bomb threat two weeks ago and a child in Mass kills himself behind bullying all of this after the columbine children brought to our attention the need for reform within our schools! Ladies and gentlemen, our schools, our children, are NOT SAFE! Budget cuts and school closures have increased classroom size, decreased funds for specialized schools and programs for these kids who do not fit into the mainstream. These are the troubled kids, the ones who cannot seem to find their niche, their place in life. Their parents and they turn to the school systems and mental health systems and social service systems for help and there is none there.

My own personal battle with a variety of school districts has got me hot under the collar about this issue of bullying in the schools. I am currently in that battle of my son and I vs. the school district over these very issues.

Indigo children, which most of the younger generation is, are here to tear down the systems and to make way for the crystals and rainbows to repair and rebuild. But indigos are not about repair. So for parents this is a challenge because they find themselves facing rearing a child who is wired as an entirely different creature then anything we have had to deal with before. They are gifted, they are highly intelligent,  yet appear lazy and mouthy often times. They are more angry and moody then the children of past generations due to their wiring designed to tear down systems that no longer work for the good of all concerned and prepared for the coming frequencies of the future. They lack motivation except for video games and rebelling against the machine so to speak. Why groups like Emo are created.  Yet they have their own unique ways of getting the system to change its ways. A slow process but effective.

So what we find is the new wave getting labeled ADD, ADHD, Bi-polar, Depressed, Etc. We surpress their great talents and subdue them so they are “manageable” killing their spirits with drugs they do not need like seroquil or ridalin  when Really what is happening with most of them is that they are sensitive (empathic), they come into this reality and density, they are not used to the body idea and they see the chaos all around and they are wired to want to tear it down and make it better. So because most of these young beings come from other universes and planets and have never been to 3d Earth, they struggle to fit into their new environment, and they learn differently then the children of the past, they require a more visual and tangible way of learning.

The problem with this is the schools have not changed their curriculum for teaching in over 60 years! This is why our children are failing because our system is failing to keep up not our kids!

These children, suffer the trauma of being human, they suffer because they are singled out in the social arenas at school and at home and they never seem to fit into the square little boxes people try to put them in. They are teased brutally and endlessly. As a result they often times develop PTSD symptoms and they either get reactive or they shut down. These children are the ones with no voice in this world. I for one have done my best to be a very active voice and bring light to this very dark matter.

Our children are committing suicide, having intimate relations and doing drugs and alcohol and getting addicted to violence and porn as a result of  prolonged pain from the unacceptance by their peers and family, their exposures to the net and video games and how society deals with these topics so openly. Kids today do not respond to “do as I say not as I do” discipline. We must be the example for these children in life. Most of the reactions these kids show are things that if the situation happened to an adult, we would react much the same way, but because they are kids, no one listens or it doesn’t apply to them? Really how does that work? We say respect is earned…. are we earning their respect by behaving in ugly ways?

Part of this shift is understanding there is no separation. This includes, kids and adults. Yes it is our job to guide them and teach them, they have their own path,  it is not theirs to be our slaves at home doing all the work, that should be a team effort or beating them into submission as many parents have been trained by their own upbringing, but to treat them as mini people, mini adults, the way you would want to be treated now,  because they are exposed to very adult things at a very young age, so to go with the old way of doing things, is doing a dis service to our youth in not preparing them for the real world. We shelter them and protect them but to do it too much so then turn them loose in the real world. This is where the depression comes in for young adults, so much pressure and culture shock,  they just fold emotionally. Hence the increased suicide rates.

We need to do something about this issue. Our drop out rates here in the United States is absolutely unacceptable. Our children are our most valuable commodity they are our future. We are failing them as a society placing a higher value on a ball players and actors then a teacher or school and we need to put action to this to make a change! Start attending your local school board meetings, talk to people who advocate for children and see what they can offer as advice to deal with the many issues that arise when your child falls into this void with no voice. There are laws in place which can be used to enforce the no bullying policies and if there are none where you live then I would write your local authorities, school superintendent and congress people and let them know you are “Mad as hell and you are not going to take it anymore!”

Nothing will change if we all think that someone else is dealing with this issue. I have for years wanted to form a coalition of parents, teachers and students to create their own lobbying group and start making some political noise about this issue. I encourage you to begin in your own neighborhood with the parents.  Not all kids are wired the same, we have to make a way to accommodate all children not just the 80% majority. No child should be left behind, on this point Mr. Bush and I agree. Change begins at home, start making some noise, contact local news places as you hear about these injustices in our district with these kids. The children and parents feel like it’s us against them and they learn quickly that the system is in need of change. So to you my audience, please get involved in this, get active and find out what your kids are dealing with at school. When we were 10 our biggest concerns were which bike or doll to play with, our kids today, deal with guns at school, gangs, drugs, sexting, by the time they are in fourth or fifth grade now! So look at their texts, look at their emails and IM conversations while playing games and what not on the computer, get nosey! Be proactive in preparing your kids because it starts much sooner then you would imagine. If your child is suffering from bullying contact your local truancy officers and court officials and ask what can be done to cease the issues. Take things to the next level and do not fear. For the only thing you have to fear is fear itself! Ok maybe apathy falls in with fear, apathy is our worst enemy in this country as I see it…

I will revisit this issue further later on down the line, sharing with you some of the issues people have run into with regard to this. Until next time! Peace, love and light!

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The audio blog for this blog entry is now available!


Greetings and salutations One and All!  The energies have been running high, people’s emotional bodies are clearing house it would seem. Lots of our stuff coming up in our faces to deal with and transmute. Seems like de ja vu, like you have been here before only with other faces or perhaps the same ones, coming back from the past to finish working out the details of our lessons together. There is a new moon and the feminine energies are running rampant as people’s hearts are opening and clearing all over the planet. Venus will be crossing Jupiter and this combination with the new moon should prove to be a very powerful love weekend just in time for Valentine’s Day. So hold onto your hats, and remember that these things shall too pass.  I feel that if you are in a relationship things will get deeper and if you are looking for a relationship the stars are in the right place for new opportunities in relationships. So enjoy a little indulgence and treat yourself and or your honey this weekend to some TLC.

Our topic today is about Empathy. Empathy has so many aspects to it, we are going to break this down into a series of blogs in the next month.  What is empathy? It is the ability to feel things.  It is in the sensory way can mean feeling emotions, in a healing way to feel someone’s pain, in a cosmic way to feel the planet and the events which are taking place here or in the Universe. It is a lot of things rolled up into one.

Who has empathy? Well I believe that we all have empathy to one degree or another. For example, if you have burned your finger on something hot before, and your child burns their finger on something hot, you can empathize with that feeling of burning because you have experienced it before, you have the total understanding of what that experience is about, what’s involved, how long it will take to heal etc. It’s a knowing through experience. This is different then sympathy, which is that we can IMAGINE what that person is experiencing but we have not walked that experience so we can only share in that to a degree.

An empathic person, is a person who experiences more then most and therefore can feel exactly what the other people are feeling and therefore can help to heal and or transmute that energy. This experience may not be experience in this lifetime, this may be knowledge or experience carried forth from past lifetimes as well.

This gift of empathy is a very useful gift but one which comes with a great responsibility as well. For when you are working with people in the capacity of assisting them, you must be careful to not do it for them, but to allow them to discover within themselves how to surf the emotions and feelings they are experiencing.  This is not always a pleasant or comfortable thing, empathy. In fact, more times then not, it’s very uncomfortable for the empathic person. To absorb all that is around you and feel it, can be very overwhelming, confusing and unbalancing. Because often times, we do not recognize that we are experiencing, someone or something else other then our own stuff. It takes time and conscious effort to make that distinction for many. What I found to be most difficult was how to shield myself from those outward energies. The second most difficult thing was learning to control that energy we call empathy. How I finally gained that control was through the help of a friend who not only understood what I was going through but was willing to teach me how to work with it at least enough to live with it.

It was about this time when I had made a vow to myself, to help as many as I could understand what was happening to them as people awakened. I swore this code of mystery and secrecy of the gifts would be shared with everyone, not just the elite few. This is why I am starting a radio show, why I started to write and do chat rooms, why I am driven to complete the books I began to write all those years ago.

What does empathy feel like?

Empathy is such a mish mosh of stuff, it really is difficult to put into words, but I will humbly attempt the description of the feelings associated with it. On the emotional level and the psychological level, these “feelings” can appear to feel like bi-polar or depression symptoms. You are suddenly crying for no reason at all when you were just fine a few moments ago, or you are agitated and angry for no reason,it can be the feeling of an anvil on your entire being, it can feel like there is no hope and a sense of loss or being lost. The inability to focus on anything because you are a mess inside. It can feel like a sadness that will not leave you. It can feel like you are a totally different person then you were yesterday and feel like you are misplaced out of time and space. Because, the emotions and thoughts go against everything you personally know or believe in this life walk to date. I always tell people try describing what salt tastes like when you have NEVER experienced “salty”. Not so easy to put into words. So it is with empathy, unless you have experienced all that it is, at times it is difficult to express what it is we are feeling. How empathy is felt by people is on a very physical level. You can actually feel the same pain as another being. You have never had a history of knee or back problems and now all of a sudden you are feeling pain and symptoms as if you had the issue yourself. This is a valuable tool when learning to heal others. It helps you to identify exactly what the problem is in the other person so healing energy can be directed to that point. If you were to go into a doctor’s office they would tell you there is nothing wrong with your physical body, yet you still feel the pain how does that work?? Well, again, we are “feeling” it and understand it because we on some level have experienced this same thing before on a physical level. It doesn’t mean we are experiencing those feelings as a result of our own injuries currently but we can “feel” other people’s as they are in the present time. There are times when you can feel as if you are losing your mind, your faith, your ability to carry on. Many respond to this inability to “deal” with the issues by secluding themselves to avoid “feeling” everyone’s stuff. I find for myself, I have done that as a natural defense to it. I go into the world but also need the sanctuary of my own space to NOT feel if I so choose. And the thing of it is, this gift never turns off, when it is awoken it only continues to grow and grow stronger. So trying to run away from it or deny it is futile really.

So, continuing, on a physical level, it can feel like flu, fibromayalsia, a cold, sickness to the digestive system, a loss of appetite, headaches of all kinds, neck and back aches, difficulty breathing, panic attacks, irregular heartbeats, tingles throughout the body, hot and cold temperatures in the body (extremes, feeling like you will combust or you are so cold you are almost in convulsions) ,  insomnia or the opposite wanting to sleep all the time, irregular menstrual cycles and the physical symptoms associated with that, can reduce or increase sexual desires as well.

These symptoms can also be applied to the ascension process, so it’s important for you to be able to go within yourself to identify the energy signatures and speak to the cellular and atomic levels, as to where this “feeling” is coming from and ask how to disband it. I tend to run light through myself and release through a tube to the center of the earth for transmutation or up to the heavens in twinkles of gold so they are carried forth for transmutation in this manner.

The key things to learning to control the “feelings” is to be able to identify it within yourself. To go within so that you can be guided as to how YOU can separate the different energy signatures and work with them in your own way. These things I share are from my own research, study and experience. But like people, the gifts are equally diverse and what works for one may not work for another. My experiences may not be the same but similar, and I will say this, one thing that is true of most empaths, is we experience far more trauma in our lives then the average person. The answer to why we have to walk through more is because we are the example of how to overcome the difficulties and challenges of this world, we are the ones the masses turn to when nothing else makes sense and all the old ways begin to fall away. We are the wayshowers, the healers, the light in the dark, the weak are made strong through the power of what many call God. In our weaknesses comes His greatest glory and power and strength.

I will revisit this topic more in the coming weeks, but for now, I bid you all a good day! Blessed be!

xox

Kimberly




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Greetings and salutations! One and All! Happy Monday to you! Today I want to jump right into our topic.  Grief and the grieving process….it’s one of those very personal subjects that not too many people want to talk about, let alone, talk about publicly.  I sit here today at my computer pondering this issue of grief. So many people suffer, so many people hurt and crying out from their most core being for the pain to go away.  I had someone recently in one of the chat rooms I was in, tell me he buried 9 children that day.  He was in Chernoble working with the people who have been left to suffer the results of one of man’s many inhumanity to man events. He asked me accusingly, “Do YOU pray for the children here! You AMERICAN! You do not remember us here, you will not donate your time or money to help us!”  I replied back to him, “Yes I do pray for you there and in any place where the people suffer daily. Where life is not valued as much as war toys or greed. I pray for those in Thailand, in Africa, in Kenya and India, I cry for all those who cry and suffer. For the mother’s of the sons lost in wars that were not theirs, children whose parents are not there for them, for the homeless in the streets of the world who do not know where they will lay their heads or get their next meals, who dig in trash just to survive!…. Do YOU sir pray and help them too?!”  He was quiet after that. Asked me to burn a yellow candle in their honor. Which I did.

There are many types of death in this life.  All just as real, just as painful to the people who experience it as the real thing.  I have a different perspective on death. I see death as graduation day.  We die to resurrect and become something great once again. I do not see death as a sorrowful thing any longer. I rejoice and laugh and remember the good times not the bad ones or the regrets of things not done or said. I thank them for giving me all that they shared in our walk and time together.

I have often to said to those close to me, “Stay in the moment of now, it is a gift, this is why they call it the present, and we may not get a tomorrow.”  So often times we get lost in the chaos of life that we forget to tell those who are near and dear to us how much we care and appreciate them. The small things they do that go un-noticed.  The little things that make that person dear to us, we take for granted all too often.  Time is a precious thing, and this is the only place in existence that has it. Yes it is an illusion, but it is too as real as we make it to be. As with all things in duality, we can make things work to our advantage or disadvantage simply by how we act and think. Attitude of gratitude is latitude.

As the good book says, ” … as I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…” The man says WALK THROUGH IT!  not sit and wallow in it and lay down and let it consume you for the next however many years! Didn’t say stop and have a picnic and stay awhile! YES! life is hard at times, YES! it is not always about fair. BUT, it is ALWAYS an adventure! It is ALWAYS beautiful. Even in the darkest of moments, there is a shimmer of light which guides us back to center. It is in these moments when we feel like we are at the bottom of a hole or looking into the endless abyss of a wishing well, it is in these moments where our true character lies. What we are truly made of. The type of person we really are.  How boring life would be if we did not have each other to share in the moments of great joy and great sorrow. How blessed are we to have the chance to love and be without all that we need! For if we had EVERYTHING all the time and it was perfect, we would never grow. We would never experience ourselves and life and FEEL it. It would be boring if we were all the same. That being said, as different as we all are, we all have our own beliefs and ideas about death and the life after death.  No matter what your path or belief is, the processes of grieving are a necessary learning experience here on the planet Earth.

Grief, whether it is over a lost relationship, a job, the passing of a friend or family member and this includes pets. Sometimes, it can be the loss of innocence or the loss of a belief or a part of ourselves which is no longer working for us so we are stripped of all that is around us. And of course it is never just one thing, it is usually several major things all at the same time, from all directions when these losses occur. The least convenient moments the least perfect timing or so it may seem in the moment. The truth is all is perfect in all ways all the time. There are no accidents or coincidences all is in perfect harmony even through the discord. As my friend always says to me, “There are many ways to die”.  This is so true! We can shut down, shut ourselves off from those we love most, including Creator. That is one way to die. To have an old belief system or view of ourselves that can die too and be just as difficult.  The loss of a pet who has walked with you a long while in your journey, this too can feel like the world should stop revolving because such a beautiful being was removed from your life! In the very earliest moments, we suffer a period of shock. In this shock, we can be in denial as well, un accepting of the situation at hand. Completely stunned by events or words/actions of other people. We then move into a period of total sorrow, sorrow for the loss, regret for getting involved with that person or regret of things that were not said or done in a timely manner.  Then into a period of anger and victimhood, we play the blame game, the self righteous anger that drives men to war.  Then we go through guilt, guilt that we do not miss them enough, guilt at our parts in their lives.  Then we go through a numb period when we feel nothing at all, and cannot eat or sleep for if we even breath we might break. Then we come to acceptance, when we can finally begin to wrap our brain around it and know that it will not change or come back to the same point where it broke. Then we come to a place of forgiveness for them , the universe and ourselves. Then we begin to heal ourselves. Picking up the remains of what used to be our hearts, our lives, our beliefs, ourselves… and we rebuild it into a better thing ideally.  The Phoenix that rises from the ashes and we re invent ourselves, we are reborn again, a new person, a fresh perspective, a new clarity and understanding about what we just experienced.

In the moments of anger and despair, it is difficult to think of the good things in life. But in fact it is in these very moments when we should most give thanks. It helps to put into perspective the waves of deep sorrow which roll through our being as “this too shall pass” rather then I do not want to be here anymore if this is what it is about. We have all entertained those thoughts. We in some cases have lived through another who could not hold on another moment.  They stopped believing in themselves and loving themselves enough to take the escape clause. A parent who loses a child.  And you cannot say there is no greater pain, because the moment you do there will be something to prove you wrong.  Everyone’s personal pain is the worst to them. We cannot say how long it should take to go through the processes we do to resolve it within our own beings. Everyone is different. Some need time alone, to hide in their cave until the pain stops being unbearable, others need to be busy and social to help them move through the being alone parts. They do not focus on it but process it by doing this. Yet others see it as I do a time to celebrate and honor the person’s life and accomplishments. To honor how they touched people’s lives in a positive way. If their life was not something to write about then pray that they heal and come again in a better light and understanding for the next adventure story they create for themselves. The movie ” What Dreams May Come” with Robin Williams, is a great movie to tackle this idea of the after life. Really our pain and suffering is a result of fear. Fear of death , our own mortality, fear of being alone, fear of failure, fear of success, whatever type you claim it as , it is all still fear. LOVE, love never dies. It is there always within our beings and hearts, we are love! And if we are truly coming from a place of love for that other being, then we honor it’s contribution to the circle of life. Love is all that is real. It is all there is. It is all that we take with us because it is us when we ditch these physical bodies.

You ask anyone who has had a near death experience, they will tell you, it is peace and it is love. I have been there. I cannot wait to get back to that. I know I will find my way HOME, where my heart is because I am already there. I do not expect everyone to get that, but a few of you will. I truly believe that it is a better place, and I KNOW that there is no sorrow there, no pain, no discord, nothing of the sort. Not even really memories, only the LOVE. So all the petty stuff, the he said , she said, or who is right or wrong, that is just a waste of energy. How can I make this person’s life better, how can I make a difference, how can I honor that life and give back the love they gave me or the help in my life. Pay it forward as they say. When life gives ya lemons, by golly make you some lemonade! Turn it around! Make it something great, something sweet and more palatable,  something to celebrate. Yes we will miss them but we know there truly is no loss. They are with us in death more then life in most cases. To the point of annoying for some! Ha! This is not to put down or belittle someones personal grief or their process. Some people prefer to laugh rather then cry. I prefer to celebrate life rather then mourn it. I still process, but in a more positive way then I used to.

This article is not about how to fix you. Only you can do that for yourself. I can tell you for myself, keeping busy and making the best out of bad situations is how I have managed to stay sane through some of the most insane moments a person would ever want to endure. People ask me, how do you keep a smile on your face with all that has happened.  I just look at things from Creator’s eyes. I keep in mind the object of this life, and the reasons we are here, why certain beings come into our lives and I thank them for playing that role in my life, good or bad. For in reality they are me too, there is no good or bad, right or wrong on the other side. Only that which IS. Love.

Give yourself permission, to process and take the time you need whatever amount that is.  Try to do things to love yourself and remember the blessings you have in your life, really count them in the throws of despair. It helps. Take the baby steps to pick up the pieces again. Rebuild your life, YOU. The beauty of being a co creator is we can do this.

I’m sure there are a million articles out there on the net about this topic, the how to make it all better type of advice, but really, there is no way to make it better, only to walk through the process one step at a time in your way in your time. I can tell you, I pray for you! All of you! Every being great or small upon this planet and beyond. For the planet herself, for she too is dying a slow and torturous death, but she too will be reborn. As I have said many times before, we are the ocean, we are the waves. Individual we peak and crest and break and return back to being the ocean, to be recreated as another wave in another time and place, but we are still the healing waters, the liquid crystal that gives forth life and takes it back again. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Remember to celebrate each moment, make it memorable make it full of love even in the heated moments. We do not always have to like what we get, but we can definitely compromise and come to a place of peace with it. It’s all in your choice. How do you choose to see it? As you change your thinking, you change your mind, you change your life.

I will revisit this topic more later on… for now this is all …. peace and blessings, big hugs to all those who read this, who are in that moment of darkness and despair and fear, you are never alone. Never. Even though it feels like it at times. Do not give up. Nothing is stagnant, all things change, including our moods. So hold on for just awhile longer. Look for the good in it. Try to see the bigger picture from a selfless place. If you can do this , then you are well on your way to walking through to greener pastures and cool waters. Let your mind and heart be at peace in that place of greeness and peace.

Love n Light,

Kimberly

Dedicated to Zena, may you rest in peace girl! Thank you for bringing so much love to this place! Hugs JJ. I love ya!

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I am pleased to announce that we now have this blog on audio! So you can listen to it even if you do not have time to read the entire blog! Enjoy! xox Kimberly 2/7/10.

Part II- Audio Blog

Part III-Audio Blog

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A perfect song for today’s topic. Love it!

Greetings and salutations one and all. It was not the weekend I had hoped it would be, I was ill for most of it, and missed the pow wow unfortunately. So I did some research for my up and coming show with Elizabeth Rose on OUR WORLDS on ZTalk radio. We are going to be discussing relationships. In preparing for this show, I really had forgotten how much there is to talk about this particular subject.

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What is co-dependency? What is enabling? How do we become co – dependent?

These are some of the initial questions people have when you begin to discuss this topic. Much as other issues, in some circles this term is over used and so people have forgotten that it’s a serious issue in this country especially! MOST people have been involved in some form of dysfunctional relationship at some point in their lifetime. This is a condition which affects 75% of the people who end up in unhealthy relationships. It starts off all wonderful, (the honeymoon period), and then turns into something very different then a loving relationship.

I think one of the best explanations of this issue is explained in Mental Health America’s explanation of it. They outline they symptoms and affects in our lives.

They define it as , “Co-dependency is a learned behavior that can be passed down from one generation to another. It is an emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual’s ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. It is also known as “relationship addiction” because people with codependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive. The disorder was first identified about ten years ago as the result of years of studying interpersonal relationships in families of alcoholics. Co-dependent behavior is learned by watching and imitating other family members who display this type of behavior.”

They go onto to say, “Dysfunctional families do not acknowledge that problems exist. They don’t talk about them or confront them. As a result, family members learn to repress emotions and disregard their own needs. They become “survivors.” They develop behaviors that help them deny, ignore, or avoid difficult emotions. They detach themselves. They don’t talk. They don’t touch. They don’t confront. They don’t feel. They don’t trust. The identity and emotional development of the members of a dysfunctional family are often inhibited.”

“Attention and energy focus on the family member who is ill or addicted. The co-dependent person typically sacrifices his or her needs to take care of a person who is sick. When co-dependents place other people’s health, welfare and safety before their own, they can lose contact with their own needs, desires, and sense of self.”

This is the crux of the situation, as the Mental Health America see it, you can spot co dependency in these characteristics:

Co-dependents have low self-esteem and look for anything outside of themselves to make them feel better. They find it hard to “be themselves.” Some try to feel better through alcohol, drugs or nicotine – and become addicted. Others may develop compulsive behaviors like workaholism, gambling, or indiscriminate sexual activity.  They have good intentions. They try to take care of a person who is experiencing difficulty, but the caretaking becomes compulsive and defeating. Co-dependents often take on a martyr’s role and become “benefactors” to an individual in need. A wife may cover for her alcoholic husband; a mother may make excuses for a truant child; or a father may “pull some strings” to keep his child from suffering the consequences of delinquent behavior.  The problem is that these repeated rescue attempts allow the needy individual to continue on a destructive course and to become even more dependent on the unhealthy caretaking of the “benefactor.” As this reliance increases, the co-dependent develops a sense of reward and satisfaction from “being needed.” When the caretaking becomes compulsive, the co-dependent feels choiceless and helpless in the relationship, but is unable to break away from the cycle of behavior that causes it. Co-dependents view themselves as victims and are attracted to that same weakness in the love and friendship relationships.”

There is so much more information out there on this topic! I would encourage everyone to read this article! Very informative and I am sure you will see someone you know in this description or possibly yourself.

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My input is this:

Why is loving self first so very important. – Religion teaches us the wrong thing, to love others before ourselves. The Truth is that if you love Creator/God/Goddess/Allah, you MUST love yourself first because IT resides within us! To deny ourselves is to deny Spirit! The greatest blasphemy of all, the one adam and eve committed, they walked away from God by doubting themselves and feeling shame. We are doing the same by not honoring and loving ourselves and the spirit within us in our hearts. So it is not SELFISH to love ourselves, it’s SELF Centered, meaning centered within ourselves. Not that we are the only one in our own universe exclusive from all else in existence type of Self Centered.

How do we get to this point? – Again how we are raised contributes a lot to how we are programmed. I use the word programmed because that is what it is. We are living bio computers, who are programmed and as such we have the ability to CHANGE that program within ourselves.

How do we get out?- The first step is to look at yourself honestly. My daddy used to tell me, wherever you are , there you are! and he also used to tell me and still does, “there are somethings you admit to the whole world, then there are those things which you only entrust to a select few, then there are those things which we would never tell a soul, then there are the things we cannot accept and admit to ourselves, and therein is where our sickness lies”. My daddy is a very wise man! Words of wisdom from those who have been here longer then I are always a better way to learn. So it begins with the one in the mirror. Louise Hay who is one of my personal heros, taught us that how we see ourselves directly reflects in ailments later on in the body. One of her techniques to loving yourself is looking in the mirror and telling yourself you love you and really mean it. NOT an easy thing at first. The other suggestion she makes is to do positive affirmations.

Home is where the heart is, and if we do not take care of ourselves then who will? -We are always striving to get home, what does this mean?- Home is love. Where we feel safe and at peace enough to let our hair down and be ourselves. So wherever you are there you are, home is wherever you are!

What steps to take when we are learning to love ourselves again??. -Do things that used to bring you joy as a child. Getting in touch with your inner child is critical in the healing process of becoming whole again. Coloring in coloring books is a great therapy for people who are learning to get in touch with themselves again. Blowing bubbles or flying a kite or going for an ice cream CONE instead of a bowl! These may seem like small things, but seeing life through the eyes of a child is a good first step to work towards.

DO YOU! Break the cycles of co dependence strive for self empowerment and INDEPENDENCE.~

Co dependence is a condition that plagues many here in the united states. It is one of the number one conditions in most relationships today. People who are trying to fill something outside of themselves get locked into these types of relationships on a regular basis. They take on many forms, addiction, abuse, isolation and much more. We get into the mode of not loving ourselves feeling like we deserve that on some level and so we stay put even when it’s detrimental to our well being. It drains the heart and the spirit. When we are around negative people of any kind they are stealing our energy and so we are left drained, if we do not put it back then we are leaving the door open for other more serious issues down the road. Apathy and accepting or settling for less is one of the common results. People get so focused on the other person that they forget they have their own life to live and a duty to themselves to stay healthy and happy. Therein is the rub. If we do not believe in ourselves this is a very difficult step. So how does one begin to break the cycle? Well as we have already mentioned loving yourself and believing you are lovable and deserving of love is part of it. For guys, the bigger issue is learning to love at all.

Most men are taught that love is a weakness and something that is not to be desired, love is about conquest not partnership, that being emotional or vulnerable is a bad thing. Understand the opposite sex and how they think becomes important to understand and know. Men go their caves to work out emotional stuff, women we have to talk about it with everyone around us. A very key difference that most women or men do not get even about themselves. So learning to communicate again in a better way is part of this process. When you get the urge to jump in and save someone because they are not behaving in a rational or appropriate manner, wanting to FIX them or the problem at hand, we have to learn to let them learn on their own. Allow them to go off and do what they do because that is who they are right now! Most of us get locked into what could be if only….. how many times have you heard that! Setting goals, there’s nothing wrong with that, and working toward them fine, but to live as if it’s going to happen over night, is an unreasonable standard. Learning to not expect things from people, is another key thing. When we expect people to behave or respond a certain way, we are trying to control the outcome. We usually will get just the opposite if that is where our thinking is. Thus setting ourselves up for disappointment. We then get into the victim/martyr syndrome and so the cycle begins of not loving ourselves enough to break it. So learning to communicate our boundries to people we love, which will often times result in a lash out from those closest to us. But will eventually turn itself around, this can take years in some instances.

Some ideas to take the first steps:

Take up a hobby in your spare time. Do reading, or writing, or running or charity work, something to occupy your own time. The more you keep your own world and interests, the less you will be thinking of the bad stuff or the other person, and when you do meet someone you enjoy, you will have something to share, to offer to help you both grow and keep the love lines flowing. Most relationships become stagnant because we come to a point where we feel we have given everything but what happened to me in the process, we lose ourselves in others definitions of what we should be, mom , dad, brother , sister, whipping post, scapegoat, doesnt matter which position it is, it’s still not US and who we are inside really. In giving too much of ourselves up this is a common result. So do you, what makes you happy, what brings you joy, without another person being involved, learning to enjoy your own company is key as well. All baby steps, do not push yourself too hard or you will feel overwhelmed and not want to continue the process voluntarily, I say this because once you start , there really is no turning back.

Make a list and check it twice. – Make a list of the perfect things ideally you would want in your mate. Then check yourself against that list. Are YOU all of those things? If your answer is NO, then you are not ready for a serious committed relationship. Because you are seeking those qualities outside yourself. Secondly- Check that list against the ones who have been in your life, how did they match up to the list. If they didn’t what qualities are you willing to work around or compromise on , can live with?  Then what qualities you cannot stand, ones you cannot compromise or live with. Do the same for friends, what is a friend to you? What does that look like. Are you a friend to others? (be totally honest). Putting the various relationships up on the board, look for patterns, you will see what the programming is that they feed. This is part of learning to be responsible for the things which happen in our lives. We often bring people to be the mirror to look at these very things. Most people just do not know where to start. So making a list is a great tangible way to look at yourself and your life and relationships honestly. People talk about writing a journal this could be part of that journey.

The greatest love affair you could ever have is one with yourself! – you have all you need within you to be a whole person. The question is are you willing to do the work it takes to achieve that especially if there are challenges, fear of abandonment, fear of rejection, fear of being alone, fear of success. These are all challenges we come to the table with in our lives, overcoming them, having the understanding and knowing that you survived it, only feeds the fire to love yourself. Confidence is not exaggerated ego, the way some would see it or you. So love you!

It takes two whole people who compliment one another to make a lasting relationship. 1+1=2 NOT 1 like all the songs and propaganda would have you believe. Get back to basics. Fireproof the movie and book lay a great way to achieve this for couples who have been together awhile. We are NOT our story, or anyone else’s. We have the power to change ourselves, how we see things makes a big difference. Looking at ourselves is HARD work! But so worth the journey and the destination. How can you hope to find love if you do not know it exists within you always!

Respect, common courtesy communication- we get so lost in our corporate / survival mentalities we forget these very basic things in our relationships and interactions with people.You have to give without expectation of something in return. The laws of cause and effect, Law of Attraction, The Golden Rule, all tell you the natural result, but expectation will attract the Law of Opposites.

The art of courtship ….. People have forgotten to take the time to get to know each other before hopping into bed together and making babies. Take the time to get to know the person and watch them move through changes so you can more accurately compare that list you made. Allow that person to become a trusted friend before you talk about love. Yes you can have attraction , even soul recognition and perhaps this is a person who destined for you for a time, but if you base your relationships on that type of feeling , chances are you will not survive as a couple. So taking the time to get to know each other and compare your lists for a perfect mate see where they line up and where they do not, see if you can compromise in the areas which are not perfect, if there are too many negatives and not enough positives, if both people are not shoulder to shoulder walkin gin the same direction then you are setting yourself up for failure. (feeding old tapes you are not good enough) So learning to be friends and taking the time to allow that without the complication of hormones in sex, be celibate and learn to LIKE the other person. We can love someone to bits and not like them!and not be able to live with them. My daddy said to me, “If you can be friends for five years and endure all the changes people go through in that amount of time, you have a good shot at the marriage lasting!” I say friends first, last and always.

Can you commit to yourself, the way you commit to everyone else you love? – I challenge you the audience to do this, make a commitment to yourself to do something loving and good for yourself daily for thirty days. See what results you get from yourself, your thinking and the people around you.

I dare ya to! I double dog dare ya! Giggles!

Those were excerpts from my notes for the show on Wednesday on OUR WORLDS with Elizabeth Rose on Ztalkradio.com 5-7pm EST.

Here are a few YOUTUBES on the topic you might find helpful as well.

I liked her message to the younger generation didn’t you?

If you think that you have these issues, I recommend you research it, see many perspectives. Seek help. Co-Dependents Anonymous (CODA), Adult Children of Alcoholics, or a professional family counselor. There is no shame in exploring one’s self!

I do hope you found some interesting and useful information in this blog entry. Please send in questions on this topic to Illuminationsoflight@yahoo.com. We will be answering questions LIVE on Wed too! Numbers to call..

Until next time! Peace, Love and Joy! xoxo Kimberly


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