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Posts Tagged ‘dbt techniques’

Greetings and Salutations! One and all! It really is amazing how when you begin to really live in the flow of the universe how things just become very synchronistic. Now this does not always mean that all outcomes will be as you want them as you envisioned them. Sometimes things come in ways that we least expect them.

For me, when we have to go through a radical acceptance of something which is outside of our control it is difficult at times to get back up on the horse. I have endured many blows or waves of change within the past two weeks. Almost all my messages from the universe have been related to how to move through the waves of sadness and to stay in the moment and find the happiness within. It has been a lot of hard work on my part to do this. We so easily drift into the past or the future, but to stay exactly in the moment is difficult. This situation involved the deepest kind of pain, losing true love. Problem is only one of us felt that way apparently. So what do you do as your life shatters before you and everything you hold dear is ripped from your world?

Well, one of the techniques I have been trying out is to stop and become aware of my surroundings. Most emotions are triggered from a memory or a thought which is not actually in this moment. So by looking and really consciously noting what is around you can pull you outside of yourself long enough to move through the wave of emotion. Another thing I have been doing is trying to find laughter within my day. Watch a funny movie, read a funny joke, in my case come up with hysterical commercials. The more I stay focused on what my life is about and what I have going on in my world, the less I am thinking about him and what he is doing or thinking, is he hurting like me or has he turned off all emotion and will endure the pain later when it bubbles to the surface? I do not want to waste my day or my time thinking about that stuff, I have a child who is in crisis right now, and I have to move. A move that is not going to be just a down the street deal but pretty far away, looking to sell my belongings type of move. Some say that if you are running then you will still have to deal with it. Yes this is true, however, I have other factors to consider, money being one of them. My health being another of them. I have built up somewhat of a support system where I am however the rents in my area have skyrocketed and I can no longer afford where I am staying. A simple fact of life, the cost of living has increased and my income has decreased. So we are off to the next exciting leg of our adventure. The bottom line to all that is, I really do not have time to pine and drool over what has been lost or what I do not have in my life.

The fact of the matter is, I didn’t need him before I met him, I certainly do not need him now. Needs and desires are two different things. Just as love and partners are. Relationships require a certain amount of energy and effort and right now, I just do not have it to give anymore and apparently neither does he. I have my own health issues. He has his. I am trying to get my business resurrected from before a brain injury four years ago. That in and of itself is enough to keep my focus occupied. This person has his own issues. I still love him, that will never change, but I require my relationships to go both ways, he’s not able to achieve this at this time. I can wait yes, but really what for?? A man who cannot commit? Who cannot make up his mind that after three years he wants to be with me or not? I’m sorry I do not want to have to be someones shelter, counselor, mother figure or tell them how to be civil and polite and honest and loving, not my job to train a 45 year old how to be a real person. They will have to learn their way how.  I have a world to conquer people to help out there and there are six billion people on this planet, I will find someone who can deal with me, love me, work with me, encourage me and be respectful and kind to me always. I should not have to work 70% of the relationship and get 30% in return.That’s not a partnership that’s an imbalanced situation that had to give and who knows if it will change if this persons life changes in the future. I know they still love me, they just cannot handle me right now. Or themselves either for that matter. No ones fault, the fault doesn’t exist. Just is what is right now. Not time. So we both accept that. I’m sure that we will always love one another as we loved each other before we came into this life. I do hope someday he catches up with me. I pray that he does make the changes in his world someday for his sake. For his family’s sake.

The universe has been speaking loudly to change my thinking for everyone to change our thinking to NOW. Being in this moment of the present. The joy is there! Right there! Right now! Within you! Sadness lies in the past. In the memory. In the story of what the other person did to you! They did nothing except be themselves, how they are right now. Pick up the pieces. One at a time. Be aware of feeling the feelings but allow them to pass through like a breeze brushes past you standing outside. Love yourself and forgive yourself. For you are worthy. There is no fault. Only what is. Acceptance is where the struggle and the pain lie. The sooner that you come to a place of acceptance the sooner the suffering part stops. Doesn’t mean you have to like what is being handed to you, but it does mean that you have to deal with it and accept that it is how it is. That is where the stopping in the moment works, pulling your thinking out of the memories of the past or the  what could be if’s…..and get into what is actually around you. Look at things and study them, you will see that the moment or wave of emotion passes much more quickly and you can get into your right mind quick enough to pull out of it.

I do not have all the answers here, just that these are some of the techniques I use in my own world. In the day to day things that seem to happen whether or not I instigated them or not, some of it had to change in my world, it was no longer serving my desires or my needs, so it is with life, all about the change, and surfing those waves instead of being crushed by them. Not staying in the moments of sadness or emotional turmoil. If you want something to change, then change it and do your best to move forward in life.

It’s always sad to say goodbye, but in the native world you only say those words when someone passes onto the great spirit. They say farewell because we never know when our paths will cross again. So for now, this is where my head is, I will not have internet access for the next two days and this post will be the last for the moment. I will be writing still as I have nothing else to do but work on the various projects that I have going. So there will probably be several posts at once when i get access to the net again in a couple of days.

As it is I am in the coffee shop getting this posting out as we type. Life is funny. Full of synchronicities watch for them, they will point you to where your thinking should be.  Be well until next time! Love n Light and Blessings to you all. Kimberly

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