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Posts Tagged ‘broken heart’

Greetings and salutations! One and All! I do hope this blog entry finds you well and happy. It has been a crazy week for me on a personal level as well as the professional level. But I wanted to keep the momentum going with this entry of our blog series on relationships. We have covered in past entries the ideas of co dependence and independence, however, we have never covered the idea of inter-dependence. This is a new term that I created to explain the concept of a partnership. These ideas that I am discussing are uni-sexual and universal. They can be applied to any relationship in existence. The reason that I feel it is necessary to create this new concept is that we are moving towards this with the shifts that are coming. How do we put action to making it “we” and not “me”. How do we take the first steps to becoming community minded again instead of overly independent and isolated?

I do not think that I have all the answers or all the parts but I can see how some of it can work. So I only ask that you read these ideas with an open mind and expand on them if you are so inspired and share those thoughts with the world. Leave a comment. I respond to all legitimate comments. So moving onto the concepts first.

Community to my definition is this: ” A gathering of beings working in harmony and cooperation with one another.”

I see this as the third phase if you will because really it begins within yourself and extends to your immediate friends and families and thus it naturally evolves to a community. There are many communities large and small. It’s not the size that matters in this instance. The idea behind a “community” is to work together in cooperation. Now this sounds really great in theory and in an ideal world that would work. It takes a solid commitment of common thinking to make something like this work. For example. Terminology. People as wonderfully different as they are will look at something and have a totally different take on what it is they see. The same idea holds true when they describe things. How often have you said to another person, “that’s not what I meant!” So definition of terms is imperative to healthy communication.

Cooperation: We have learned over the course of the past few millennia to be competative not cooperative with one another. In this shift which is coming there needs to be a cooperation between ourselves and the world around us. Money or it’s concept no longer serves us. I do not have all of the answers but what I do know is that there is no good reason that there are people who are lacking anything in this world. There is enough resources on this planet to sustain 100 billion people if we all worked together to balance that out.

Courtesy/Manners/Respect- People in this age of “Me”, have forgotten some very basic things in life. That people are people for one and for another, that we should treat others the way we would wish to be treated. With kindness, compassion, understanding, tolerance, respect. Words like ” I’m sorry” or “Thank you” or ” Please” go a long ways. Remembering that coming at someone offensively will cause the reactions of defensive manuevers. That a man’s word is golden, if you say you are going to do something then follow through with it, and if something should come up then communicate that with the person you made the promise to.

Communication: Talking, Texting, Writing letters, Computers, Telephones, Smoke signals. Throughout time man has found many creative ways to communicate what is in one’s head. From hieroglyphs to artwork of all kinds and music and story telling and tapestry to architecture and technology. We have found many ways to communicate with each other because we as human beings are communal creatures. We are social. We enjoy the interaction with others around us. We have lost the gift of mind reading which was our original forms of communication. We lost that ability when we fell into the third dimension. As part of the awakening and remembering, this gift is slowly being restored. Thus the words of Christ, “And the darkness shall come to the light, there will be no more secrets, no more lies…” because if we can read each other’s thoughts we have no way or place to “hide” anything. That is an illusion.

To live as two individuals, loving unconditionally in the present moment and working toward a common good is not an easy combination to find. There is a fine balance in inter-dependence. When you are in a partnership, the advantages are that you are not alone, if one falls short in an area the other can assist in making that up with their strengths. This is different then two people as one. We all have our paths and lessons in life. To release judgments and expectations can be a challenge for many. To release the need to control anything is also a challenge for most people. We do not realize how often we come from a place of needing to control people and situations. We must become cognoscente of these times when we are falling into emotional reactions and old programming. It is helpful if you are involved with another who is of like mind so that you may help each other in the recognition of when you are playing the old tapes. The old saying of ” You are the company you keep” holds some truth to it. For what you surround yourself with or feed into your mind is what is in your heart and eventually comes out of the mouth and it feeds like a perpetual circle. So the way to break free from this cycle is to change the response and change the environment and change the input in general. Surround yourself with things that are going to help you achieve your goal of peace and tranquility on a constant basis. Surrounding yourself with positive people is a start. Listening to soothing music instead of angry music is another place that we can change what we feed our brain. These are all things to help us remember that we are whole and secure within our freedom and do not require dependence but choose to be engaged in an inter-dependent , inter-active relationship.

When I first started to think about this whole idea, I went through the list of friends I had in my life. I really got honest about what it was I was gaining from having these people in my life. How have they served me and were there any there who didn’t serve me. I also had to make a decision about what was a friend to me. Applying the terminology again. I had determined that most of the people in my life were in fact NOT friends, but more acquaintances and business associates. That was a rude awakening for me. I had found that I was being a friend and giving more in the relationships then I was receiving and as a result I found that I was getting drained in my energies on a daily basis. When I made the choice to no longer allow the imbalances to take place, those people were taken out of my life, either by my own hand or by circumstance. I also had to work it as I have said earlier in this article, to just let things and people be what they are.

Here is an example. I recently had a guest who had forgotten to mark their appearance on our show, they subsequently didn’t make the appearance. Now, most people would have been hurt or insulted or upset, and I have to admit that I too would have been counted among those people a year ago. Instead my new reaction now was that all things happen for a reason and there are no accidents. This person had some place else to be and that was totally ok and things worked out in the end and so no harm no foul. This left both people feeling as if it was a win win situation. By choosing a different reaction, the response could have left a much more destructive and negative taste in both mouths. But by understanding that things happen, mistakes can be made and that it all works out in the end as it should anyway, to have that total faith that it will all be ok and that it is meant to be. Even when things do not work out in the way we had hoped it is usually for the better.

Not holding expectations on other people or their actions. Again the need to control. If you limit the universe in outcomes or if you place expectation then you are setting yourself up for instant disappointment. If you just go with the flow and not attach the outcome it usually works out better then you expected in your mind.This is much easier in theory then in practice. It takes great conscious effort to allow others to be and to BE yourself. To detach from the emotional body and to control the thoughts and to come from a place of peace. Too often we give too much of ourselves and things in relationships become unbalanced. There needs to be an exchange of energy on some level in a dualistic reality. In the oneness all just IS.

Can human beings achieve inter-dependence? Hard to say. I believe I have seen couples do this on occasion. To be independent, lead independent lives, but still be together. As ” The Profit” states. Like two pillars holding things up, but standing separately, both eat bread but not of the same loaf. To find that balance where two can be in sanctuary and not in a place of beholden or fear. I believe that we have to come to a place of humility and a willingness to work with others in realizing that many hands make less work, but all parties must be willing to do their part. One’s input doesn’t have to be the same work, but a portion of it.

Some interesting musings on inter-dependence and partnerships. What are your thoughts?

Until next time, in Love n Light and Oneness of Heart,

xoxo

Kimberly


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Greetings and Salutations One and All! Today I would like to discuss mindfullness. “What is that?” I’m sure you are asking yourself. Well in my definition, it is being absolutely present within the moment. Most people might think that they are truly in the moment most of the time, but if you really pay attention a lot of the time we are not in the present moment. We are in the future, past, lost in thought. Most of us check in and out of the present most of the time.

Spirit has really been on me about this particular issue of late, and I am sure that I am not alone.  What it means to not just know it but to own it and walk it and intergrate it into your everyday life. I was recently faced with a situation as most of you know, where in I had to come to a place of radical acceptance of another person’s decision. A betrayal, and several losses within a very short period of time. I shared with all of you some of the processes that I used during this time period. One of the things that I have found is that it is not so easy to stay in the present when chaos is surrounding every aspect of your life.

So I am coming to you now, having been exposed to some great new information from Sue Piver, who wrote the book, “The Wisdom of a Broken Heart” and Dee Wallace, who wrote the book, ” Conscious Creation” and from several other great books that are out there right now on the topic of changing our thinking. For what we focus on we bring to ourselves and we are creators that have the ability to change what our reality looks like. How we see things and perceive things has everything to do with that. These two dynamic ladies have come up with some fantastic hands on ideas on how to overcome the challenging emotional states we all get to at some point in our lives.  I have been using their techniques within my own personal life and I will tell you I have been astonished at how well it has worked for me.

I have invited them both to be guests on the show, and hopefully they will graciously accept. I can only tell you that it would be a complete blessing to all of you if they did. Truly amazing beings! Amazing books! Amazing results!

I have recently been attending DBT technique training and it is so interesting that some of the very techniques they are teaching for psychology now have their same roots as these two books. Funny how the universe works, especially when a message is loud and clear. The techniques help you to cope with strong emotions and emotional responses. It helps to reprogram the old programming from your earlier years and all up to now. You become self empowered to see how these very simple and quick techniques can change your entire perspective about life and the people in it when you begin to do the homework!

I challenge you all to the next time you feel in a moment of emotional overload, find simply 20 things in the room around you. Take notice of them and what about them caught your awareness. What you are doing by doing this is taking yourself out of emotion and into your mental bodies. If you begin to note where in your body your are feeling the discomfort and address the fears at the core of the emotion you can allow these emotions to pass through you without stuffing them.

The idea is to become aware of wha tis actually happening around you when you get to these crisis moments in life. Stop and notice what is around you, what is going on. Most times there is nothing going on. Whether you are in your car or a room, there is not usually alot going on when we are having these momentary melt downs. You begin to become aware of right now. Usually the emotion is coming from a past memory or a thought of what could be but it is not right now. This moment. As you begin to do this, catch yourself when you are on the phone or talking to your kids, see how much time you are really being present in this moment, versus, being in thoughts like, “I have this, this and this to do ….” or “If only I could get this going I could>…..” these types of statements in your thoughts are not what is right now. The power is in the moment of right now. You can create and choose in this moment only. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come. Right now is where you are and where it’s at! You will find that if you stay in the now moment you are less likely to experience waves of emotions that are not real but more illusion.

Look at the fear that is causing the emotional outburst. I am afraid to be alone, I am afraid to die alone, I am afraid I will never find love again, I am not worthy, I am not deserving, I am not pretty enough or smart enough, whatever tape is playing in your head at the base of that fear reaction, then counter that thought with I am never alone, I will not die alone, I will find love again, I am worthy of all good things, I am deserving of love and happiness, I am beautiful and I love myself, I am smart and funny, I am love and I only accept that which is healthy and for my highest good in my life, life flows to me with ease and grace, my lessons come with ease and grace, i am creation, these types of statements can replace the old tapes. These affirmations help shift what is causing the pain. Our stinking thinking about stuff. This is not to say life is always wonderful, this is to say these are some ways on how to pick up the pieces when there’s a million of them to pick up. The nice thing about that is you can paint your own picture how you want the pieces to fit! It’s your paint and your canvas how do you want your picture to look, make it so. We cannot control others or what they do or say or think, if we are trying then we need to look at our own need to control and work with it.

Try this mindfullness awareness exercise for a week. Let us know what results you found out about yourself!

Love and light everyone!

Kimberly

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Greetings and Salutations! One and all! It really is amazing how when you begin to really live in the flow of the universe how things just become very synchronistic. Now this does not always mean that all outcomes will be as you want them as you envisioned them. Sometimes things come in ways that we least expect them.

For me, when we have to go through a radical acceptance of something which is outside of our control it is difficult at times to get back up on the horse. I have endured many blows or waves of change within the past two weeks. Almost all my messages from the universe have been related to how to move through the waves of sadness and to stay in the moment and find the happiness within. It has been a lot of hard work on my part to do this. We so easily drift into the past or the future, but to stay exactly in the moment is difficult. This situation involved the deepest kind of pain, losing true love. Problem is only one of us felt that way apparently. So what do you do as your life shatters before you and everything you hold dear is ripped from your world?

Well, one of the techniques I have been trying out is to stop and become aware of my surroundings. Most emotions are triggered from a memory or a thought which is not actually in this moment. So by looking and really consciously noting what is around you can pull you outside of yourself long enough to move through the wave of emotion. Another thing I have been doing is trying to find laughter within my day. Watch a funny movie, read a funny joke, in my case come up with hysterical commercials. The more I stay focused on what my life is about and what I have going on in my world, the less I am thinking about him and what he is doing or thinking, is he hurting like me or has he turned off all emotion and will endure the pain later when it bubbles to the surface? I do not want to waste my day or my time thinking about that stuff, I have a child who is in crisis right now, and I have to move. A move that is not going to be just a down the street deal but pretty far away, looking to sell my belongings type of move. Some say that if you are running then you will still have to deal with it. Yes this is true, however, I have other factors to consider, money being one of them. My health being another of them. I have built up somewhat of a support system where I am however the rents in my area have skyrocketed and I can no longer afford where I am staying. A simple fact of life, the cost of living has increased and my income has decreased. So we are off to the next exciting leg of our adventure. The bottom line to all that is, I really do not have time to pine and drool over what has been lost or what I do not have in my life.

The fact of the matter is, I didn’t need him before I met him, I certainly do not need him now. Needs and desires are two different things. Just as love and partners are. Relationships require a certain amount of energy and effort and right now, I just do not have it to give anymore and apparently neither does he. I have my own health issues. He has his. I am trying to get my business resurrected from before a brain injury four years ago. That in and of itself is enough to keep my focus occupied. This person has his own issues. I still love him, that will never change, but I require my relationships to go both ways, he’s not able to achieve this at this time. I can wait yes, but really what for?? A man who cannot commit? Who cannot make up his mind that after three years he wants to be with me or not? I’m sorry I do not want to have to be someones shelter, counselor, mother figure or tell them how to be civil and polite and honest and loving, not my job to train a 45 year old how to be a real person. They will have to learn their way how.  I have a world to conquer people to help out there and there are six billion people on this planet, I will find someone who can deal with me, love me, work with me, encourage me and be respectful and kind to me always. I should not have to work 70% of the relationship and get 30% in return.That’s not a partnership that’s an imbalanced situation that had to give and who knows if it will change if this persons life changes in the future. I know they still love me, they just cannot handle me right now. Or themselves either for that matter. No ones fault, the fault doesn’t exist. Just is what is right now. Not time. So we both accept that. I’m sure that we will always love one another as we loved each other before we came into this life. I do hope someday he catches up with me. I pray that he does make the changes in his world someday for his sake. For his family’s sake.

The universe has been speaking loudly to change my thinking for everyone to change our thinking to NOW. Being in this moment of the present. The joy is there! Right there! Right now! Within you! Sadness lies in the past. In the memory. In the story of what the other person did to you! They did nothing except be themselves, how they are right now. Pick up the pieces. One at a time. Be aware of feeling the feelings but allow them to pass through like a breeze brushes past you standing outside. Love yourself and forgive yourself. For you are worthy. There is no fault. Only what is. Acceptance is where the struggle and the pain lie. The sooner that you come to a place of acceptance the sooner the suffering part stops. Doesn’t mean you have to like what is being handed to you, but it does mean that you have to deal with it and accept that it is how it is. That is where the stopping in the moment works, pulling your thinking out of the memories of the past or the  what could be if’s…..and get into what is actually around you. Look at things and study them, you will see that the moment or wave of emotion passes much more quickly and you can get into your right mind quick enough to pull out of it.

I do not have all the answers here, just that these are some of the techniques I use in my own world. In the day to day things that seem to happen whether or not I instigated them or not, some of it had to change in my world, it was no longer serving my desires or my needs, so it is with life, all about the change, and surfing those waves instead of being crushed by them. Not staying in the moments of sadness or emotional turmoil. If you want something to change, then change it and do your best to move forward in life.

It’s always sad to say goodbye, but in the native world you only say those words when someone passes onto the great spirit. They say farewell because we never know when our paths will cross again. So for now, this is where my head is, I will not have internet access for the next two days and this post will be the last for the moment. I will be writing still as I have nothing else to do but work on the various projects that I have going. So there will probably be several posts at once when i get access to the net again in a couple of days.

As it is I am in the coffee shop getting this posting out as we type. Life is funny. Full of synchronicities watch for them, they will point you to where your thinking should be.  Be well until next time! Love n Light and Blessings to you all. Kimberly

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Regrets, Questions, and Finding a Way Forward
By Nick Esten-E5 USNavy
I had one of those reflective days where I generally kept to myself and let my mind wander to places that I’ve struggled to forget. It’s pretty easy for me to get lost in my thoughts, because at any given time, my brain remembers, forgets, learns and processes all the little electric signals that produce these words on the screen…

I hear a lot of people claim they have no regrets and sometimes I know they’re lying or they haven’t reached that point yet, but everyone at some point will do or say something that will absolutely and irrevocably shift the course of the rest of their life.

“I wouldn’t be the person I am today if not for “insert excuse here””

Most people say this because it’s the accepted answer to the age old question “What do you regret?”

I think that answer’s a lie, because deep down, most people don’t really like themselves. They hide from themselves; they make excuses for themselves as to why this and why that, and they don’t really know what they are saying. They only know what is acceptable to say.

I know these people exist because I am one of those people. I could sit here and say that in my short 24 years in existence I haven’t done one thing that I regret, but everyone would know it to be flat out bulls**t. I’ve done unfair things to good people, and it cost me everything…the girl I loved, the future I had dreamed of…everything that makes a life colorful was taken because I chose poorly.

And I regret that it took me losing everything to learn one simple lesson; that another person had to suffer because I, for some reason, didn’t have the good sense or courage to stand up for what was right and what I believed in.

You know what I learned?

Integrity is everything. It’s the foundation on which my character is built, not some garment that I can take on and off at will. You give up your integrity, you don’t have anything after that, because everything you are is a pile of s**t.

A life is nothing more than a series of small events, strung together by the fabric of time and the happiest souls are not the ones who have the least worries; they’re the ones who remain flexible. Who, no matter what may come, use a stumbling block as a stepping stone. They’re the ones who move through life like water.

I want that. I had that. Once. I know I can have it again. I’m just lost. I have no real direction, no real goal, I’m just moving through these days without any sort of enthusiasm for much of anything except art. Stories. Poems. Music. Songs. Movies. Photography. These things that move the soul…

I let so many days go. So many days that could’ve been spent better, but I chose to waste them, and now that I can hear his footsteps a little clearer, those days now seem so much more precious. I only have one life, and I want to make it mean something. I want to leave this world a better place than the one I came into. And it’s hard because I see so much of the world going wrong, and I, having so very little control over my own world, don’t know what to do.

I go to work and I come back and I watch the cars go by on the freeway below. Or the ships that sit in port out in the harbor. I wonder why I can’t be more like the wind? To roll freely like I once did.

As you can tell, I spend a lot of time falling back into the past. It’s gone. The very best days of my life are gone and that’s a pretty sad thought…but the beautiful thing about it is that I have no idea what’s yet to come. So my best days may yet be ahead of me. Maybe not, but there is still air in my lungs and if God permits my soul to return each day, then I will find the meaning in my life once again.

In and of itself, life is too big a mystery to figure out in one lifetime. But then again, maybe I’ll get lucky and become one of those happy sages found in some hidden stretch of mountains. Maybe I’ll be old and bald with a bunch of grandchildren and a wife I adore…who knows. I don’t let myself think of such things because deep down, I don’t believe in them. But just because I don’t believe, doesn’t mean it can’t happen…because there are a lot of people who believe in me…and for me.

And I try so desperately not to disappoint.

What more can be said? What would I do for one more day? What would have happened if I had been the one to die that day instead of her? What would she have become? Would she be married? Would she have kids? What would she look like? Her face is just a blur to me now…

I won’t ever be able to answer those questions…survivor’s guilt is something that stays with you all the days of your life. When someone gives their life for yours, what do you do when your life has become such a disappointment?

I wish I knew the answer.

All I know for sure is that somewhere out in the unknown mists of time, there’s an end waiting for me. A lake to which this life of mine flows. And when I get there, I will have a smile on my face because I will know that I was loved, and that I made a difference in someone’s life. That is my motivation. Not to waste a sacrifice. I will find my way through the fog and dark and cold and whatever kind of misery this life can hurl at me. And I will be the light in the dark for people as I have been…for what is to give light, must endure burning.

From this day forward, I live my life for the people who make it worth living. The friends that make me smile, the love that makes me glow, and the series of small events that will make this life of mine a damn good read someday. When I’m gone…I want people to remember one thing and one thing only.

Love.

Because that is what I remember.

“What tomorrow brings, we cannot know”

From the mouths of babes….
This is my son. My first born. It’s nice to know when some of your own teachings begin to shine through. Especially yesterday when this was written, regrets, the things we do that we wish we could change. We are not our story. We can change right now. This moment as you are reading this blog. Life is too short to waste on things that are not real, not tangible, not worthy of our love and energy. If people do not want to drink after they have been given the trough full of water and instructions on how to drink, then there is nothing to be done. Walk away. Pray for them. Live YOUR life to the fullest in truth to yourself most of all. It’s those lies we will not admit to ourselves where our sickness lies. Those are the tapes so deep that you hear them in your sleep. The ones that creep out when you least expect them. The ones that cause us to self sabotage. The ones that make you forget that love is a two way street it takes cooperation on both sides to make it work. The ones that make us feel “less than” or “not enough” or “not worthy” or “bad” because we fail to live up to another’s expectations or our own.

I was faced recently with do I want LOVE or do I want a PARTNER … the man I love, still to this day, is in no way shape or form partner material for me at this time. He is unavailable on several levels, most of all emotional. Too afraid to explore changes outside his comfort levels inside and out. A lion in business, the cowardly lion inside, searching for his courage that was always there if he believed in himself enough to not care what others thought. A true warrior knows that love is his strength not a dark spot in his life. A partner works as a team, thinks as a team, lets nothing stand in the way of the goal of the team and never leaves a man or woman behind. One too can have a partner without love. Is that better? To live a life content but not fulfilling without love in it. Because it’s always been that way, because to go outside the “story” people have of you,  may make them or yourself look bad? Why would you care what the other person thinks really? Who are you trying to impress? Would it occur to that person that perhaps misery loves company? Would it occur to that person that to dictate, “you are the one we all look up to, you are the perfect example of what life should look like” just because you do things OUR WAY or a certain way, is a form of manipulation for control over your thinking and not about duty or respect? If passive aggressive behavior is the price you pay if you do not conform to the “idea” , “the plan”, “the way it should be”, all because you did what made you happy? That we are to surpass our parents thinking so as to evolve as a species? To be real with our kids and prepare them for the real world not some fantasy “Keeping up with the Jones” or sheltering them from the pains that real life bring and being the example of how to get around that and still be true to yourself?? To exist without love is not life. You are not living in my opinion if that is the case. Existence and survival are not living!  I decided that I wanted LOVE AND A PARTNER IN ONE! When I drew that boundry, I was met with anger, rejection, cruelty, everything that was not love. I knew this person had been lying to themselves and when I made that person look at it, they reacted with chaos and coldness and chose to walk away. To walk away from love, for convenience and the comfort of what is known, to be nothing more then a provider and a gopher,  a cog in a dilapidated wheel, which as all things mechanical wear out,  to be a shell of the person they could be, even though that life is toxic to their soul? They see a duty misplaced, loyalty not earned,  a truth…perceived… that is not truth to most people’s perceptions, but to them  it is.(Hitler thought he was RIGHT! Doing what GOD AND EVERYONE EXPECTED HIM TO DO AS THE “MAN” THE “LEADER” Yet, no one else saw it that way….. did that make it right to them or the people who suffered at all costs to keep his “vision” of what was right?  They had love in the palm of their hands, lying in their arms, two hearts beating as one and peace in the closeness, the truth of love, lights appearing with each and every kiss and comfort in their soul…..except when it came time to follow through on promises and dreams created, to put action and commitment to the vision,  to pay the piper, to walk the talk, to pay the debts one creates through words and actions. Then that person became angry, saw things as an attack, as an ultimatum, as fear. Pushing it away. Stomping on it. Belittling it. Not allowing it to exist within their own mind. What we resist will persist. And sometimes it’s too late.  All because they were too weak to say enough is enough. I choose love and happiness. Truth is subjective, if the truth is a perspective. What IS just IS. This person will assuredly regret his choice when they realize, they are totally alone. When the people they trusted to have the answers, when they didn’t want to look for themselves, prove to be wrong for them even though it worked for this person who gave this advice, or the people who they try to keep happy all the time being the golden child in their eyes die or get sick and do not remember those answers and are no longer there to give them that ego affirmation, when the duty and loyalty back fires in their face with betrayal, when the world they so desperately hold onto, fought for, to save it’s existence, the dream of what they wanted so desperately in the beginning when they truly settled for less then what they originally wanted,  exists no more because it was all just illusion, when their greatest fears come to pass and they lose the respect of those who matter most because they refused to take a chance and grow. When they too can gain the insight that my children and I have gained. Love is all there is … to live your life for the sake of how it looks or for someone else’s well being, is a lie to yourself. To lie to yourself is a sad sickness that can be changed at any moment, it’s never too late. Walk your talk and act with love and integrity, accept that life is not perfect and to deal with it the best you can as long as you have love around you. Interesting to think how the brain works…. Love, makes us fill in the blanks. Like when you read a sentence and the brain will put a missing word or correct spelling on a word which is misprinted, so we still understand the sentence even though that is not what it said,  we do the same in our relationships. We fill in the blanks of what’s missing or not quite right. We fix it to make it work for awhile. We create perfection or tolerance for those we “love” by sub consciously filling in the blanks, making excuses, living a lie, or lying to ourselves being in denial about what really is in that moment. Problem is then we get surprised when the whole thing falls apart and doesn’t work. We are not being truthful to ourselves, not seeing those missing words and it didn’t work, didn’t make sense, didn’t line up the right way! Well isn’t that a big surprise! Love always finds its way back to itself. True strength, requires the courage to look beyond the pain and the loss to the power of creation and manifestation. Overcoming those obstacles through love. Through love (Creator) all things are possible, surrendering control and attachments to outcomes. It is sad when love seemingly dies on any level, through your own actions or through circumstance and time. True love never dies, wanes perhaps, changes its depth or style, HOW we love can change but REAL love never dies. It is always my hope to find the gifts within each encounter in myself and to find the good in all those who’s paths I cross. I try to be a positive influence in the world around me always. To make a positive memory instead of a negative one. To not have regrets in my life, only to walk with integrity, to make lemonade when life hands me nothing but lemons, to have as kind a heart as I possibly can, to show my fellow man compassion and understanding and tolerance in the choices they make and try to recognize that I am worth loving, I have something to say, I have something to contribute to this world around me, I am perfect as I am now in all ways, I forgive myself for those things I cannot change, but do my best to learn from those mistakes and grow from them and to not make the same mistakes over and over again. The insanity lies there. I do not want to wallow in the dark caverns of sadness and hopelessness for years and years. As my friend Stanley says, “I would rather have a near life experience” Life includes ebbs and flows, and sometimes those tides can be extreme, but it is how we deal with it, honestly or in sketchy ways, which dictates our character. If you do not like what you see when you look there, then change it. Change yourself, how you look at things. Today, right now in this moment! You can begin by changing the words “can’t” and “trying” in your own vocabulary! Those are excuse words. You can do what you put your mind to if you want it bad enough. Trying is not doing! Put up or shut up as they say! Walk your talk or you are by definition a hypocrite. It only takes one step at a time. Baby steps, one step forward two steps back. We will always slide back to what is comfortable. What we know the outcome will be. It’s way harder to take those steps through the door of the unknown to what could be better or worse from our own perspectives. Release the fear. It could be BETTER! When a door closes a window opens, that which we lose or set free return if they are meant to be…usually better then before. The worst feeling in the world is “What if?” The not knowing because we didn’t try because we were afraid to know the answer when we had the chance to know it for sure. At least when we take a chance and we fail we are living. Truly there is no failure, just what works best for us. We are no one to judge what works and doesn’t for another person. That is a form of control, judgment. Surrender, Release, Forgive, Accept, Love. Live to never regret. Follow your heart, for love is all there is. The rest is a waste of time and a foundation of more regret. Do what you love, be who YOU are, not someones version of you. Find the courage to stand up for what you believe is best for you! Stick by it. Know what you want, and do not act from fear, entrapment, manipulation, depression, hopelessness. Coming from a place of emotion instead of knowing can only bring lower vibrational lessons with them. Some of the most painful kind. Try to see the good in people even those who have done atrocious things to you, you will cut down your suffering and sadness. Turn that frown upside down and laugh. Find something to make yourself laugh. Laughter is the best medicine for a broken or wounded heart. It reminds you that you are still alive. As long as you are, all moments pass to memory and as extreme as they are the next moment could hold the difference. My friend always says to me, “Do not give up five minutes before the miracle!” hold on until the next moment comes. Look to the past and learn from it so you can know the future and what to do with it. See how you want it to change and begin with your own thinking. Be the pebble in the pond and start a ripple of love to change negative vibrations around your environment, this will spill over like the ripples in the pond.
Do not throw pearls before swine. Do not give your love to those who do not return it, cherish it and respect it. For to stay in imbalanced states can only lead to one end, a return to balance by any means necessary. That can be destructive and painful if we resist. I personally prefer to ride the waves not get totally crushed by them. Like waves, they can catch us off guard, have rip tides and under currents which pull us down and we lose our breath for a brief moment, but we swim and pull ourselves up to breath again and see the sunshine on the water and see the beauty of all that is around. The ocean like love can be nurturing or destructive depending on the influences around it. Never mess with Mother Nature! She’s got a mighty sword herself!
Life is good. Love is life. Do not throw it away when you have it. Honor it. Cherish it. For tomorrow it may not be the same.
Blessings everyone! Make it a great day! Love and Light, Kimberly.

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