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Posts Tagged ‘awaken’

We have recorded most of this blog to audio, we did not include all the videos on the recording but a few snippets to get the idea of what was shared. Thanks! Now onto the blog!

Greetings and salutations! I do hope the day is a beautiful one for you!  We have been working very hard on adding new features to the blog as well as the sites for Illuminations of Light. Preparing for our guests up and coming on the radio show.  I am pleased to announce that we will be having Ronna Herman as our first guest, we also have Michael Jaco, ex USNavy SEAL who has written a magnificent book called “The Intuitive Warrior” which I have to tell you guys is a fantastic book for everyone especially the young men in your life! My fifteen year old couldn’t put it down! That show will air 3/9/10-9pm mst. Then of course the Sedona Lights crew joins us 2/23/10! So lots of great guests, we are so blessed and honored to have them joining us! Be sure to tune in for the show!

Ok so enough of the radio stuff and onto today’s subject.  This is a difficult topic to discuss for most people because trust like love can be an illusive emotion. Not sure how to describe it. Why do we require it? What does it mean to you? How do we trust when no one has ever given us something to trust about? These are questions I hear a lot from clients and myself in my own evaluation of what trust is.

Well I cannot say that I am an expert, but I can share with you what the experts say… and give you my opinions about this topic based on what my feelings are.

This is a fairly good article on the topic of rebuilding trust after betrayal

I have had some difficulty in writing this particular entry of the blogs, because on a personal level, the breech of trust has been a prevalent message for me on a personal level.  In the course of this year, I have experienced in people that are close to me, turning on me and betraying me on many levels. So in the course of doing research, a lot of my own stuff came up.  When I evaluated it, did my list, I recognized that I was continuing to have the expectation that people would do what they said, behave a certain way, keep their promises, honor my belongings in my home and vehicle, to honor my wishes, my physical body, to do a job well done for monies earned, be my friend and not my enemy. That is a lot of expectations to have out there in the thinking processes. Then came the word FAITH. To have faith that everything will be handled and fixed. If I believe it will. But you know in the throws of my panic, and I definitely was panicked! I found it very difficult to focus on anything else except how in the world was I going to do all I needed to do and make things come together. This led to looking at my need to control. I had to tell myself, I had no control over any of the things which were taking place around me. And mad about it! Then I had to come to a place of acceptance with that idea, not easily, my inner child was fighting this big time! So once I evaluated what I did and did not have control over, I was able to breath again.  I was able to put things out of the emotional state back into a spiritual state with some deep breathing, talking to a friend, food, crying to release the built up frustrations, rest and then processing.  In the end, it was a computer error, all was fine and I was not as bad off as I originally thought. But I will tell you the drama that set off in my mind was pretty amazing even to me! I was going there! After so much loss this past several years, after all the fighting I did last month to make the radio show and such come together financially, the friends I have had to say goodbye to for good, trust and trusting the universe was not in my mindset. I had to consciously pull it back to get to that point of balance again.

So what is trust?

Trust is a comfort zone within our being that allows us to fully relax and be ourselves. To know that our confidences will be kept and our beings honored and respected. By my definition anyways.

On a metaphysical level however, it is holding onto expectations. If we are having expectations and or judgment about a thing then we are not coming from a place of unconditional love. Because unconditional love has no room for either by definition. Things just ARE. People are where they are in their path and lessons, and sometimes they can act out of character due to outside circumstances, or imbalances which are not within our ability to control. Circumstances can look one way and turn out a totally different way then we thought. If we allow our past experiences to rule our reactions, we are not coming from that place of peace or love.

Forgiveness:

When we agree to forgive a broken trust or betrayal it doesn’t mean that we forget. But it is in the not forgetting that we remember our lessons with regard to that incident.  It’s in the remembering that we recognize certain signs right? Many people would agree with that statement, but the reality is if we are staying truly in the moment, in the right now, then we are not experiencing the exact same thing in the exact same way, we are in a different place because we are different and have hopefully grown from that past experience. If we have not let go then there will be reactions, expectations and lots of self sabotage.  Of course I am not referring to life threatening circumstances, I would not recommend that you stay with a person who continues to be abusive, but you can in the recovery come to a place of tolerance and forgiveness of that person.  If we know a person is a chronic liar, white lies, half truths, omissions of facts to the whole story, or just bold face lies to our face. The person is more then likely coming from a place of fear that they would feel the need to lie.  So try to see things from their eyes. Why are they doing what it is they are doing? Are they ill? Are they afraid? Are they within their rational thinking zone? If not then know that they will have to deal with the consequences of their own actions. They will be repaid by the law of cause and effect. Look at them with pity not anger and loathing and disgust, with compassion for the pain they must be under. This is coming from the place of uncondtional love. Remember, ” Let he who has not sinned cast the first stone.” None of us are perfect. We all make mistakes. Sometimes those mistakes are repeated because the person does not see themselves as doing that, i.e. compulsive liars, sociopaths, co dependents, addicts, or just people who are in denial or believe their own lies they have been telling them so long. In the instance of adultery, this is something that can definitely be worked around and through if you love your partner enough to put the effort and the work involved to make it work.  Often times cheating is a symptom of much deeper rooted issues within a persona or a relationship. It’s the core reasons WHY someone looks outside of a relationship which are the real culprits of the break down. Communications are essential, being honest with one’s self and then their partner is also essential.

Honesty. To be able to at the very least, be honest with yourself. When you are cheating and lying to your family, you are a liar. That’s not calling names, it’s stating a fact. You are lying to yourself to think otherwise.  If you are not following through with your word, you are lying. If you are not keeping promises or going back on them, you are lying.  If you are flaking on appointments and making excuses that’s still a form of lying and if you are telling a half truth, or half information, that too is a lie.

Webster’s defines these terms as such:

Lie-

intransitive verb 1 : to make an untrue statement with intent to deceive
2 : to create a false or misleading impression

transitive verb : to bring about by telling lies <lied his way out of trouble>

synonyms lie, prevaricate, equivocate, palter, fib mean to tell an untruth. lie is the blunt term, imputing dishonesty <lied about where he had been>. prevaricate softens the bluntness of lie by implying quibbling or confusing the issue <during the hearings the witness did his best to prevaricate>. equivocate implies using words having more than one sense so as to seem to say one thing but intend another <equivocated endlessly in an attempt to mislead her inquisitors>. palter implies making unreliable statements of fact or intention or insincere promises <a swindler paltering with his investors>. fib applies to a telling of a trivial untruth <fibbed about the price of the new suit>.
Liar-
Main Entry: li·ar
Pronunciation: \ˈlī(-ə)r\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English lēogere, from lēogan to lie — more at lie
Date: before 12th century

: a person who tells lies

Honesty-

Main Entry: hon·es·ty
Pronunciation: \ˈä-nəs-tē\
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural hon·es·ties
Date: 14th century

1 obsolete : chastity
2 a : fairness and straightforwardness of conduct b : adherence to the facts : sincerity
3 : any of a genus (Lunaria) of European herbs of the mustard family with toothed leaves and flat disk-shaped siliques

synonyms honesty, honor, integrity, probity mean uprightness of character or action. honesty implies a refusal to lie, steal, or deceive in any way. honor suggests an active or anxious regard for the standards of one’s profession, calling, or position. integrity implies trustworthiness and incorruptibility to a degree that one is incapable of being false to a trust, responsibility, or pledge. probity implies tried and proven honesty or integrity.
Trust:
Main Entry: 1trust
Pronunciation: \ˈtrəst\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, probably of Scandinavian origin; akin to Old Norse traust trust; akin to Old English trēowe faithful — more at true
Date: 13th century

1 a : assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something b : one in which confidence is placed
2 a : dependence on something future or contingent : hope b : reliance on future payment for property (as merchandise) delivered : credit <bought furniture on trust>
3 a : a property interest held by one person for the benefit of another b : a combination of firms or corporations formed by a legal agreement; especially : one that reduces or threatens to reduce competition
4 archaic : trustworthiness
5 a (1) : a charge or duty imposed in faith or confidence or as a condition of some relationship (2) : something committed or entrusted to one to be used or cared for in the interest of another b : responsible charge or office c : care, custody <the child committed to her trust>

in trust : in the care or possession of a trustee

Betray-

Main Entry: be·tray
Pronunciation: \bi-ˈtrā, bē-\
Function: verb
Etymology: Middle English, from be- + trayen to betray, from Anglo-French trahir, from Latin tradere — more at traitor
Date: 13th century

transitive verb 1 : to lead astray; especially : seduce
2 : to deliver to an enemy by treachery
3 : to fail or desert especially in time of need <betrayed his family>
4 a : to reveal unintentionally <betray one’s true feelings> b : show, indicate c : to disclose in violation of confidence <betray a secret>intransitive verb : to prove false

synonyms see reveal

be·tray·al \-ˈtrā(-ə)l\ noun

be·tray·er \-ˈtrā-ər\ noun

FORGIVE:

Main Entry: for·give
Pronunciation: \fər-ˈgiv, fȯr-\
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): for·gave \-ˈgāv\; for·giv·en \-ˈgi-vən\; for·giv·ing
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English forgifan, from for- + gifan to give
Date: before 12th century

transitive verb 1 a : to give up resentment of or claim to requital for <forgive an insult> b : to grant relief from payment of <forgive a debt>
2 : to cease to feel resentment against (an offender) : pardon <forgive one’s enemies>intransitive verb : to grant forgiveness

EXPECTATION:

Main Entry: ex·pec·ta·tion
Pronunciation: \ˌek-ˌspek-ˈtā-shən, ik-\
Function: noun
Date: 1540

1 : the act or state of expecting : anticipation <in expectation of what would happen>
2 a : something expected <not up to expectations> <expectations for an economic recovery> b : basis for expecting : assurance <they have every expectation of success> c : prospects of inheritance —usually used in plural
3 : the state of being expected
4 a : expectancy 2b b : expected value

ex·pec·ta·tion·al \-ˈtā-shə-nəl, -shnəl\ adjective

JUDGMENT:

Main Entry: judg·ment
Variant(s): or judge·ment \ˈjəj-mənt\
Function: noun
Date: 13th century

1 a : a formal utterance of an authoritative opinion b : an opinion so pronounced
2 a : a formal decision given by a court b (1) : an obligation (as a debt) created by the decree of a court (2) : a certificate evidencing such a decree
3 a capitalized : the final judging of humankind by God b : a divine sentence or decision; specifically : a calamity held to be sent by God
4 a : the process of forming an opinion or evaluation by discerning and comparing b : an opinion or estimate so formed
5 a : the capacity for judging : discernment b : the exercise of this capacity
6 : a proposition stating something believed or asserted

synonyms see sense
BALANCE-
9 : mental and emotional steadiness
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE:
to love unconditionally, no expectation, no judgment or opinion, to allow people and things to just BE as they are right now.
If we are communicating well and effectively, if we are coming from a place of forgiveness and unconditional love, if we are allowing the other person to be themselves in a non controlling fashion, if we are being courteous and kind and understanding and compassionate to those around us, trust comes naturally. When we lack trust, we are coming from a place of lack, of fear, of non belief and non faith. This does nothing for the other party or the situation, only serves to make us upset and angry. We have to release the expectations that people behave a certain way or we are trying to exert control over something we have no control over. Thus our feelings of betrayal. We are truly responsible for how WE feel. No one else. Trust in yourself. Trust in the universe that all things are perfect at all times. Trust in the ebbs and flows of life. Give thanks even in the moments of greatest frustration and despair.
FAITH- Find Answers In The Heart!  If you are truly a spiritual person, then KNOW that things will work out for your highest good and the good of all concerned. KNOW that you are not alone EVER! When we say a prayer, say it like this…”Thank you for <insert the thing you are asking for>” and KNOW that it’s been heard and will be answered one way or the other. Then LEAVE IT THERE! If you begin to worry, or fret or discuss it you take it back from the universe! Let go and let god! Means leave it there, and know in your heart that it will be handled! If you can do this, if you consciously make that choice in the middle of the worry, you will see that things clear up much more quickly, answers are revealed, solutions brought to the light, opportunities open up again. We are truly our own worst enemies. We muck things up all the time. People are human. Humans learn from experiences good and bad. Sometimes, it takes a lifetime of experience to get it, sometimes several, but it is neither right or wrong. For there is no right or wrong. There is what works and what doesn’t work for us. Cause and effect. But there is no right and wrong. Just what is.
So if you are struggling with the issues of trust. Whether to trust or not. How to feel that peace and flow where trust and safety just are there. Begin with YOU. Look at those things which you do not really wish to admit to yourself. Healer, heal thyself. Begin with being honest with yourself brutally honest. See if this doesn’t change your attitude and your life just a little bit. It is something which is earned, how we treat each other makes a big difference. Consistency and repeated behaviors instill security and that safety feeling. Keeping confidences. Keeping your word. Things that we all would like to have. So put that out. Be an honest person to the best of your ability. Be a forgiving and caring person, you would want that if the shoe were on the other foot. Do not be extreme, use good common sense. If someone is hurting you, do what you can to stop them from doing it again. Do not put yourself into circumstances which will encourage the behavior. If someone steals from you, do not leave valuable things alone with them. If someone constantly lies to you, take it with a grain of salt and verify it. Do not accuse just because they have done it before, doesn’t always mean they will do it again, so ASK for clarification when words and actions do not line up. If they still lie then walk away, do not engage. Feel sorry for them and walk away knowing you know what the truth is. For they may see their version of the truth and they are entitled to it even if you disagree. If someone has left you for another, then they are not meant to be with you, it’s their choice too. If they have been unfaithful and broken an agreement, look at the reasons why and assess the core issues. It may or may not work out, you may find the other issues are not ones that can be worked out, then again you may find they can be and it will bring you together even stronger then before. No the love and the feelings can never be the same, but we can choose which way they go. We choose, we decide. We also when dealing with others have to honor their freedom of choice too. That’s a tough one to swallow for most. Why we love them and they will not love us back. What did we do ?? Sometimes, most times, it’s not about YOU. It’s about them and their own issues or insecurities or fears. Sometimes its just time to move on, people are in our lives a day, a season or a lifetime. Not all things are meant to last forever, just for their time. Acceptance is difficult. WE want to control outcomes, we want to control other’s behaviors. Reality, looking at things as they are , not as they could be or should be or were.  I’m sure there are many out there who would disagree with this assessment of trust and the solutions it provides and that’s fine. These are my perspectives, how I get through, how I can forgive even the most dreadful behaviors. Perhaps some of this will  help you or someone you know when you are faced with betrayal of any kind. The disappointment which stems from expectations not met. That’s on us. Not the other person. They have to live with their actions and words and choices. Just as we all do. But we can overcome the lack of trust in others and ourselves. It takes work and real honesty within ourselves.
I think that’s enough for today. Blessed be, one and ALL.
with love n light in my heart,
Kimberly
Here’s some other experts and what they have to say on this topic.

Patty German-Individual Therapy: Learning to Trust Again

Burt Harding on Trust
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Burt Harding on What to do when caught in emotional suffering….What’s Next?
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Burt Harding on Loving Acceptance Brings Total Change…
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Learning to trust again …. Why should we?
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Part II of Learning to Trust Again….
There are 15 entries to this last video series, you can access them on the right side of youtubes other videos.
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Learning to trust others the right way….
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Be an encourager
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How to get your partner to trust you again….
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Greetings and salutations! One and All! Happy Monday to you! Today I want to jump right into our topic.  Grief and the grieving process….it’s one of those very personal subjects that not too many people want to talk about, let alone, talk about publicly.  I sit here today at my computer pondering this issue of grief. So many people suffer, so many people hurt and crying out from their most core being for the pain to go away.  I had someone recently in one of the chat rooms I was in, tell me he buried 9 children that day.  He was in Chernoble working with the people who have been left to suffer the results of one of man’s many inhumanity to man events. He asked me accusingly, “Do YOU pray for the children here! You AMERICAN! You do not remember us here, you will not donate your time or money to help us!”  I replied back to him, “Yes I do pray for you there and in any place where the people suffer daily. Where life is not valued as much as war toys or greed. I pray for those in Thailand, in Africa, in Kenya and India, I cry for all those who cry and suffer. For the mother’s of the sons lost in wars that were not theirs, children whose parents are not there for them, for the homeless in the streets of the world who do not know where they will lay their heads or get their next meals, who dig in trash just to survive!…. Do YOU sir pray and help them too?!”  He was quiet after that. Asked me to burn a yellow candle in their honor. Which I did.

There are many types of death in this life.  All just as real, just as painful to the people who experience it as the real thing.  I have a different perspective on death. I see death as graduation day.  We die to resurrect and become something great once again. I do not see death as a sorrowful thing any longer. I rejoice and laugh and remember the good times not the bad ones or the regrets of things not done or said. I thank them for giving me all that they shared in our walk and time together.

I have often to said to those close to me, “Stay in the moment of now, it is a gift, this is why they call it the present, and we may not get a tomorrow.”  So often times we get lost in the chaos of life that we forget to tell those who are near and dear to us how much we care and appreciate them. The small things they do that go un-noticed.  The little things that make that person dear to us, we take for granted all too often.  Time is a precious thing, and this is the only place in existence that has it. Yes it is an illusion, but it is too as real as we make it to be. As with all things in duality, we can make things work to our advantage or disadvantage simply by how we act and think. Attitude of gratitude is latitude.

As the good book says, ” … as I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…” The man says WALK THROUGH IT!  not sit and wallow in it and lay down and let it consume you for the next however many years! Didn’t say stop and have a picnic and stay awhile! YES! life is hard at times, YES! it is not always about fair. BUT, it is ALWAYS an adventure! It is ALWAYS beautiful. Even in the darkest of moments, there is a shimmer of light which guides us back to center. It is in these moments when we feel like we are at the bottom of a hole or looking into the endless abyss of a wishing well, it is in these moments where our true character lies. What we are truly made of. The type of person we really are.  How boring life would be if we did not have each other to share in the moments of great joy and great sorrow. How blessed are we to have the chance to love and be without all that we need! For if we had EVERYTHING all the time and it was perfect, we would never grow. We would never experience ourselves and life and FEEL it. It would be boring if we were all the same. That being said, as different as we all are, we all have our own beliefs and ideas about death and the life after death.  No matter what your path or belief is, the processes of grieving are a necessary learning experience here on the planet Earth.

Grief, whether it is over a lost relationship, a job, the passing of a friend or family member and this includes pets. Sometimes, it can be the loss of innocence or the loss of a belief or a part of ourselves which is no longer working for us so we are stripped of all that is around us. And of course it is never just one thing, it is usually several major things all at the same time, from all directions when these losses occur. The least convenient moments the least perfect timing or so it may seem in the moment. The truth is all is perfect in all ways all the time. There are no accidents or coincidences all is in perfect harmony even through the discord. As my friend always says to me, “There are many ways to die”.  This is so true! We can shut down, shut ourselves off from those we love most, including Creator. That is one way to die. To have an old belief system or view of ourselves that can die too and be just as difficult.  The loss of a pet who has walked with you a long while in your journey, this too can feel like the world should stop revolving because such a beautiful being was removed from your life! In the very earliest moments, we suffer a period of shock. In this shock, we can be in denial as well, un accepting of the situation at hand. Completely stunned by events or words/actions of other people. We then move into a period of total sorrow, sorrow for the loss, regret for getting involved with that person or regret of things that were not said or done in a timely manner.  Then into a period of anger and victimhood, we play the blame game, the self righteous anger that drives men to war.  Then we go through guilt, guilt that we do not miss them enough, guilt at our parts in their lives.  Then we go through a numb period when we feel nothing at all, and cannot eat or sleep for if we even breath we might break. Then we come to acceptance, when we can finally begin to wrap our brain around it and know that it will not change or come back to the same point where it broke. Then we come to a place of forgiveness for them , the universe and ourselves. Then we begin to heal ourselves. Picking up the remains of what used to be our hearts, our lives, our beliefs, ourselves… and we rebuild it into a better thing ideally.  The Phoenix that rises from the ashes and we re invent ourselves, we are reborn again, a new person, a fresh perspective, a new clarity and understanding about what we just experienced.

In the moments of anger and despair, it is difficult to think of the good things in life. But in fact it is in these very moments when we should most give thanks. It helps to put into perspective the waves of deep sorrow which roll through our being as “this too shall pass” rather then I do not want to be here anymore if this is what it is about. We have all entertained those thoughts. We in some cases have lived through another who could not hold on another moment.  They stopped believing in themselves and loving themselves enough to take the escape clause. A parent who loses a child.  And you cannot say there is no greater pain, because the moment you do there will be something to prove you wrong.  Everyone’s personal pain is the worst to them. We cannot say how long it should take to go through the processes we do to resolve it within our own beings. Everyone is different. Some need time alone, to hide in their cave until the pain stops being unbearable, others need to be busy and social to help them move through the being alone parts. They do not focus on it but process it by doing this. Yet others see it as I do a time to celebrate and honor the person’s life and accomplishments. To honor how they touched people’s lives in a positive way. If their life was not something to write about then pray that they heal and come again in a better light and understanding for the next adventure story they create for themselves. The movie ” What Dreams May Come” with Robin Williams, is a great movie to tackle this idea of the after life. Really our pain and suffering is a result of fear. Fear of death , our own mortality, fear of being alone, fear of failure, fear of success, whatever type you claim it as , it is all still fear. LOVE, love never dies. It is there always within our beings and hearts, we are love! And if we are truly coming from a place of love for that other being, then we honor it’s contribution to the circle of life. Love is all that is real. It is all there is. It is all that we take with us because it is us when we ditch these physical bodies.

You ask anyone who has had a near death experience, they will tell you, it is peace and it is love. I have been there. I cannot wait to get back to that. I know I will find my way HOME, where my heart is because I am already there. I do not expect everyone to get that, but a few of you will. I truly believe that it is a better place, and I KNOW that there is no sorrow there, no pain, no discord, nothing of the sort. Not even really memories, only the LOVE. So all the petty stuff, the he said , she said, or who is right or wrong, that is just a waste of energy. How can I make this person’s life better, how can I make a difference, how can I honor that life and give back the love they gave me or the help in my life. Pay it forward as they say. When life gives ya lemons, by golly make you some lemonade! Turn it around! Make it something great, something sweet and more palatable,  something to celebrate. Yes we will miss them but we know there truly is no loss. They are with us in death more then life in most cases. To the point of annoying for some! Ha! This is not to put down or belittle someones personal grief or their process. Some people prefer to laugh rather then cry. I prefer to celebrate life rather then mourn it. I still process, but in a more positive way then I used to.

This article is not about how to fix you. Only you can do that for yourself. I can tell you for myself, keeping busy and making the best out of bad situations is how I have managed to stay sane through some of the most insane moments a person would ever want to endure. People ask me, how do you keep a smile on your face with all that has happened.  I just look at things from Creator’s eyes. I keep in mind the object of this life, and the reasons we are here, why certain beings come into our lives and I thank them for playing that role in my life, good or bad. For in reality they are me too, there is no good or bad, right or wrong on the other side. Only that which IS. Love.

Give yourself permission, to process and take the time you need whatever amount that is.  Try to do things to love yourself and remember the blessings you have in your life, really count them in the throws of despair. It helps. Take the baby steps to pick up the pieces again. Rebuild your life, YOU. The beauty of being a co creator is we can do this.

I’m sure there are a million articles out there on the net about this topic, the how to make it all better type of advice, but really, there is no way to make it better, only to walk through the process one step at a time in your way in your time. I can tell you, I pray for you! All of you! Every being great or small upon this planet and beyond. For the planet herself, for she too is dying a slow and torturous death, but she too will be reborn. As I have said many times before, we are the ocean, we are the waves. Individual we peak and crest and break and return back to being the ocean, to be recreated as another wave in another time and place, but we are still the healing waters, the liquid crystal that gives forth life and takes it back again. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Remember to celebrate each moment, make it memorable make it full of love even in the heated moments. We do not always have to like what we get, but we can definitely compromise and come to a place of peace with it. It’s all in your choice. How do you choose to see it? As you change your thinking, you change your mind, you change your life.

I will revisit this topic more later on… for now this is all …. peace and blessings, big hugs to all those who read this, who are in that moment of darkness and despair and fear, you are never alone. Never. Even though it feels like it at times. Do not give up. Nothing is stagnant, all things change, including our moods. So hold on for just awhile longer. Look for the good in it. Try to see the bigger picture from a selfless place. If you can do this , then you are well on your way to walking through to greener pastures and cool waters. Let your mind and heart be at peace in that place of greeness and peace.

Love n Light,

Kimberly

Dedicated to Zena, may you rest in peace girl! Thank you for bringing so much love to this place! Hugs JJ. I love ya!

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